Hi . . started a new thread for parents of Class of 2017 . . for anyone ready to take that dive into another phase.
I meant class of 2021!
@KinestheticKT is your daughter also a 9th grade boarder? I hadn’t noticed anyone else mention applying there this cycle!
Congratulations! 
Omg. I’m officially freaking out. We just received the official packet from the school – and were offered a great FA package. :D/ major happy dance. Now just trying to let DS process it all & realize his WL school most likely will not be able to come close to this. What a turnaround from Monday! I still can’t believe it! @-)
Congrats !!!
congrats again @buuzn03 <:-P
@makp715 yes she is a 9th grade boarder. I’ve been missing for a bit
@makp715 I am excited about all of her visits. I have many questions and look forward to getting more answers. Is your daughter really interested in the IB? Or did something else draw her to STT? You can PM me if we get too off topic. St. Timothy’s is not spoken of as much on cc so getting various insights takes some digging. But from what I’ve found recently, students and parents I’ve come across really like the school. Ive read various comments on the internet but that’s normal. It is not for everyone.
I am more Freaked out after M10 (not really “freaked out” but really looking forward to decisions being made). I want my D to look at the big picture and take into account the intangibles of the school that effect the true fit. As parents we may see this more. So getting her to dig a little deeper takes some ingenuity. But her absolute buy in to the school is key to me and effects her performance. It changes the mind set from being “my parents made me go here” which I’ve heard and troubles me, to “this is the school of my choice.”
I’m wondering if there are many folks for whom this is not the case? Will most parents allow their child to make the final choice (which could include not going to prep school at all)? Certainly finances may take some choices out of the hands of both the student and her/his parents, but barring practical considerations like FA, how will your family arrive at the final decision?
For our family we went on revisits with the idea that DH and I would be looking for red flags which would cause us to take a school off the table for AppleKid, but ultimately we wanted the kid to make and own the choice. DH clearly liked one school above the others but it was a even more clear “no way” from AppleKid. And while we found varying degrees of appeal among our kid’s options, we never did take any school off the table. When it came down to the final choice we provided our perspectives and talked through the options with our child, but we tried very hard not to impose our preferences. It was a tricky balancing act for sure!
Just one thought. Yes there should be buy in . . AND they are 14 (some of them) not 18.
For sure @sadieshadow . That’s why reserved veto power :). Also our kid had to clearly articulate to us the reasons for choosing the school that was picked, and those reasons had to pass muster with us.
@AppleNotFar and @sadieshadow absolutely agree! Please do not misconstrue my desire for my DD to feel great about her final decision to mean she has the final say. Oh contrare! But it’s funny that although D2 knows we have her best interest, is very grateful and really takes in what we say like a sponge, because D1 got into a school she really wanted, D2 wants the same opportunity to feel that excitement and belonging. I get that.
While I told my son we would ultimately have veto power if we thought he was making a mistake, he applied to four schools with which we were completely comfortable, so it’s pretty much his choice. He’s had a clear favorite all along but a close runner-up as well. When all the letters, calls and emails started coming, he started to waver, but he pretty easily crossed two off the list. If after several months of talking mainly about one school, he suddenly chose #2, I would question it. However, we had a discussion Sunday night and are pretty much all in agreement as to school and reasons. I am hoping that when we revisit #1 school he will decide on the day that he’s all set, and we can drop off the check and be done with it. It has been hard enough for him to say no to these schools in which he’s become so invested that I am glad we didn’t encourage him to apply to a bunch of schools about which he was indifferent.
I do have one acquaintance whose son graduated a year ahead of my son, and she and her husband did veto his choice and decide on his school. I think there were things about the academic program that they felt were just superior. Fortunately, it has worked out.
I’d recommend kicking the tires as much as possible. Go to each revisit you can and ask the tough questions. You’re in the driver’s seat now. It’s not unusual to form different impressions based on revisits than you might have earlier in the cycle.
I definitely know people (parents) who have made the final decision for their kids. Most of the time, they chose the perceived “higher-ranked” school over the less intense one that their child preferred.
@GMC2918 How has that worked out for them and their student?
@GMC2918 I have to admit, I wonder if we were given a choice, if we would’ve done something like that - not so much if DS had wanted the “lesser” profile school but if he was having difficulty deciding. The more I get to think, the more I realize that the school that accepted him is perfect for him. Glad I don’t have the opportunity to mess that up!
We had an indecisive 8th grader who was accepted to a small kind rigorous girls school and two highly rigorous co-ed schools. Her father and I ultimately chose for her the most rigorous school that also appeared to us to have many opportunities in and out of the classroom. My hunch at the time was that it would be a great fit for 10th even if not for 9th. I should have been clued in to the fact that all four of her lovely and bright friends were going to the girls school. Very long and sad story short she was miserable from day 1. The school was highly stressful and socially very competitive. The latter fact I had been concerned about but was reassured by a lovely admissions staff and friendly tour guide. Thankfully she was fortunate to transfer to the girls school . . several weeks in to 10th grade. Thankfully, she is now a very happy junior in college. She actually has rewritten history a bit and does not regret her brief time at the “school that shall not be named” in my book. I may be a broken record but please think carefully before choosing the more or most rigorous school or the biggest name. Fit is what really may determine success (and happiness).
@sadieshadow (not a snow owl lol) isn’t it funny how we get in our own way at times? I know part of our problem here is being waitlisted at my son’s #1 school, which is a very high profile & very competitive school, is that badge of honor to wear that says I was accepted at X, when in reality, X may be what breaks him or makes him regret ever going to BS because it’s just not right for him. Again, I’m becoming more & more thankful there is no decision to make in our household-- everything happens for a reason and this reason is so I don’t muck it up!! 