<p>I thoroughly enjoy facebook and in my experience, what people mostly post are not brags but meaningful events in their lives, from the mundane to the spectacular. Sure some sound like bragging, but many are of this nature: “I lost two pounds this week!” or “Karly just learned to wave!” or “My kidneys are only working at 40% but the doc says I’m creatinine has dropped to 48!”. Or they include pictures of a first birthday, a graduation, a visit with a long lost friend.</p>
<p>And for the most part, Facebook friends enjoy sharing the joy they wanted to share (they aren’t sitting at home stewing about how boastful it is or how it compares to their own lives). </p>
<p>I’d never mention such specifics as test scores (either on facebook or real life), but really, who cares? I mean how is this any different than an honor roll bumper sticker, a Harvard sweatshirt (by someone going there), or being excited about highlights in one’s kid’s life? </p>
<p>As for privacy, I think it’s crazy how we object to this, yet have no problem with sports scores appearing online, or the fact that highschools actually publicly rank students, or publicly identify their scholarships or where they are attending college. Moreover, while it would be incredibly stupid to publish anything on FB without assuming the world could potentially see it, for the most part, posters can choose which friends and family see their post. This is not a big deal. </p>
<p>Somehow I imagine there were not be the snarkiness on this thread if the story was someone posted about a perfect 2400, or winning a state championship, or telling the world their kid accepted at Yale. So in other words SOME bragging is okay…so long as everyone agrees it is worthy. </p>
<p>It’s ridiculous how people who judge facebook use are usually ones that have never actually really used it (they only know enough to critique it but really haven’t a clue of it’s value and use since they’ve never tried it out).</p>
<p>so this is kinda OT, but, fwiw, I also think TVs are a dying industry. Obviously not tomorrow, but as more and more becomes available over the web, people will have less need.</p>
<p>Personally, I communicate with most of my friends via facebook. I rarely email people. I do get lots of emails, but they are generally linkedin aggregations, facebook notices, or receipts / proof of order for things I buy online.</p>
<p>Email is the main form of communication at work, but that is even swinging back (somewhat) toward instant messaging or chat room programs.</p>
<p>Basically, if someone was going to email something to everyone in their address book, I don’t see a reason that they wouldn’t post it on facebook. That said, I don’t think people should post their SAT scores (or their kid’s SAT scores) on facebook (or send to their email list), but that is my personal view.</p>
<p>Big difference between sports scores and SATs. </p>
<p>Athletes/athletic teams are not only playing for themselves, but also for their audience…whether it is those watching the games or the institutions/geographic regions they are affiliated with. Different setup and athletes/athletic teams know this was what they signed up for. </p>
<p>On the other hand, one’s SAT scores/college admissions statuses have only one main constituency…the student concerned and his/her immediate family. Last I checked, no HS student I know of signed up for the expectation of having their SAT scores/GPAs/admission statuses become public knowledge by default. </p>
<p>Only way I’d agree with the sports score analogy is if we were comparing them to academic competitions like Math/Debate Team or Westinghouse/Intel/Siemens where entering contestants know they are signing up for being publicly judged and not only “playing for themselves”, but also their affiliated institutions(High Schools).</p>
<p>Moreover, there’s also those who have the perspective that graduations where one has diploma/accomplishments on hand are worth celebrating much more than admissions or a part of its process…such as SAT scores. </p>
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<p>Not all high schools do. With the exception of the val/sal…mine didn’t. Even so…the publicity of the val/sal was such that it was often forgotten even among most of the graduating class before graduates left the graduation ceremony. </p>
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<p>I do use facebook on a regular basis. However, I mainly use it to message/communicate with classmates/colleagues/friends who moved all over the world and to post news articles I find interesting or amusing to my FB friends on topics such as popular music/art, computer technology, history/political news/academic publications, or current events. </p>
<p>However, I don’t use facebook to post practically every second of my life or those of close family/friends.</p>
<p>Well, I would not have made that choice, but I don’t expect the whole world to make the same choices I do. I did not post my son’s very high SAT score or announce the various colleges that admitted him, but I did post when he made a decision because that is breaking news that a lot of my fb friends would want to know. It’s the kind of thing that I want to know about them and their kids. I try to imagine what people want to know and what they don’t want to know. Personally, I don’t think anyone cares what I ate for dinner, but some of my fb friends do seem to think others care about such things.</p>
<p>I have a friend who posts every time his elementary school daughter makes honor roll. He was recently widowed. He’s a single parent and I feel like he really needs to share these things and that it helps him. Context is everything, on fb as well as off.</p>
<p>Have you ever held off on sharing some particularly good or bad news with a close friend because the time or the place is not right? You walk into the room and your friend is sitting there upset because he or she just lost a job, or their kid was suspended? I have. Some things were just never meant to be shared impersonally on a public forum - even if every person on your list is someone you’d usually consider sharing with in person. It’s the same way I feel about some of those bragfest holiday letters.</p>
<p>I thought more about this. I realized that I have had friends post about NMSF, scholarships, making a D1 team, science awards, etc. I’ve been really happy to hear all that news - because the people posting are my friends and I am happy for them, and happy to hear about the good things going on for their kids.</p>
<p>If the child was ok with her sharing this (and he may have been) then I don’t see a problem, even though it’s more specific information than I’d usually see on FB.</p>
<p>anniezz–I think it is all in how it is done. If it’s a “Johnny is going to the U to run track!!!” great, fine. If it’s "Johnny got $10,000 at the U and will be their best hurdler, not so ok. Same with the SAT’s–ok “loving Johnny’s SAT score”, not ok “Johnny is such an amazing student 2200 on the SAT”.</p>
<p>I posted on Facebook that DD made the state tournament in her sport, but that is all I said. It was a quick and easy way to get the word out to friends that told us to post on Facebook about how she did :D. Now, if I posted how she was so much better than everyone else (and she isn’t) that’s different.</p>
<p>There is the other side of things too-parents that don’t really understand what their kids are doing-sports mostly. I’ve seen posts about track times and how “wonderful” they are, knowing that they really aren’t very good times but the parents don’t know that. Their child placed “3rd”, but that was 3rd in their heat of 10 heats and the slowest heat…but the parents don’t say that so everyone is thinking–wow, they have a really, really slow track conference :D.</p>
<p>Now, when some other friends’ son shattered a record and posted that-WOW, that was worth posting (especially since he is only a sophomore)–again, it was what was said.</p>
<p>I agree with Sally305 (About the etiquette of the whole thing) and with Steve’s words above.
I don’t use Facebook and never will, but I have many friends whom use it and enjoy it. With regards to the posting of an SAT score, well, it’s just plain tacky. As Steve has pointed out above, there are a million ways to ‘share the good news’ about your son or daughter’s accomplishments without being rude. “Loving Johnny’s SAT scores - hooray!” or “Cindy did much better on this latest ACT - yess!!” </p>
<p>I agree with Sally305- posting an actual score is like going to a cocktail party and talking about money. It’s rude. And, it has nothing to do with athletic accomplishments. Those are completed in the public eye and reported in the newspaper.</p>
<p>I liked the sentiments of whomever on page 1, ha, said that we have become a society that HAS to inform others of what ourselves and our offspring are doing at all times. It’s one of the major reasons I don’t have Facebook. I don’t want to know that much about people! lol. My close friends and I email, or talk on the phone, but I’m sorry, I really don’t care about the political opinions, or child-rearing stories, or vacation photos of a girl I knew once in HS, 20+ years ago.</p>
<p>laurendog, I have been on Facebook for a few years and have become increasingly bored with it. I haven’t yet pulled the plug, but I have a friend who is contemplating it. We were emailing today about our upcoming high school reunion and the way Facebook has kept us “connected,” and she wrote this:</p>
<p>“The way I feel is there is a reason that relationships die over time, and Facebook functions like some sort of weird artificial life support. I’ve kept up with the people I want to and I have their phone numbers and email and even visit them occasionally. The rest, who cares?”</p>
<p>^^ I feel very differently. Facebook has brought me back in touch with a lot of people who I have really enjoyed getting to know as adults even though they weren’t my closest friends in high school or at earlier jobs. It has been a real gift and my high school class has really gotten a lot out of it. We had an incredible 40th reunion which was so much more fun because of the facebook contact many of us have developed. </p>
<p>I also find facebook to be a great way to share pictures and news with friends and family who are scattered all over the place. It’s much more convenient than email.</p>
<p>^^^ I’m with MOWC. I have moved around a lot and have friends that have done the same and it is easy to lose contact. Facebook has brought me back in touch with friends from all over the world - The Netherlands, Australia, UK, different parts of the US. Some of them I may never see in person again, but I love keeping in touch and hearing what is going on in their lives on a more regular basis. Even close family like my brother - he lives thousands of miles away and we generally only see each other about once a year for a couple of weeks, I think facebook has brought us closer together because we know more about eachother’s day to day lives than we otherwise would.</p>
<p>I agree with cobrat. Some achievements are designed for public consumption, or are matters of public record. Everyone can see, or will see shortly, that this child was cast as Hamlet and the other is enrolling at Stanford. Other achievements, especially individual grades and scores, are confidential. I think it’s better to keep them within your closest circle.</p>
<p>Context does matter, though. I have a friend whose older son has autism, and she has written facebook posts about various milestones he has achieved in his mainstream elementary school. When she writes that he got a 98 on a test, it’s really not about the score – it’s about his growing ability to function alongside the other children. I certainly don’t mind sharing in her pride about that.</p>
<p>My problem with putting all this information about one’s kids is the issue of invasion of privacy. If one wants to post one’s own SAT scores, fine, but this is about posting someone’s else’s SAT scores (or swim meet practice, or report card, or photo, or whatever). I don’t care whether the person is 2 or 20, the kid should have a say in what is posted. That cute picture of your daughter’s student ID card- did you ask her if it’s OK to post it? Did you ask your son if you could share his ACT scores with the world? How would you like it if your kid posted your employee evaluation report for the world to see? I know most people just want to show off their kids’ accomplishments, but how much say do the kids get in this? I bet most would say no, unless I’m wrong and everyone has become so narcissistic, thinking other people really want to see all this personal stuff. Who cares what you ate for lunch? The lunch photos really bug me the most. No wonder facebook is losing customers. It’s BORING!</p>
<p>“It’s ridiculous how people who judge facebook use are usually ones that have never actually really used it …”</p>
<p>Well I’ve never been on it, and I think Facebook is simply F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S. (But yeah, it makes me nuts when people have strong opinions on subjects they have no experience with.)</p>
<p>It’s really too early to know what the future of Facebook will look like. I don’t really need daily updates on what my 3rd cousin is doing. But an annual update on my HS class would be of interest. Can Facebook survive on one-view per-user per-month? As for “Universe NewHope” I doubt there’d be even ten views per year. (Perhaps that’s because I don’t share intimate details of my family’s life? I doubt many would want daily re-visits to my decades long publications list.)</p>
<p>I am thinkingn of taing a compilation of this year’s facebook updates and turning it into my annual (or whenever, if ever, I happen to write one) holiday letter. Would save a lot of time and energy. And would be pretty funny too. Maybe it should be a compilation of cc posts… hmmm…</p>
<p>I use facebook and I have fun with it. I am a very social person and love staying in touch with people. Some of my facebook friends are people that I wish I hadn’t accepted because we were never really friends in high school. I feel like they are just “creepin’ on me” as my kids say. Lol. On the other hand I have gotten to know some new friends through facebook and they are some of my favorites to read about and converse with. One of them, another artist in my community knew of me but we had never met. He emailed me first to ask if he could friend me. He didn’t want me to think he was creepy. We have since become friends.</p>
<p>As far as bragging, well, I keep the posts about my kids at a minimum. Mainly because I am friends with them and they would feel awkward seeing it. I was forbidden to post my Ds dean list status. Probably for the best. I do think that one should stay away from facebook during highly emotional times, good or bad. Impulsivity can lead to some regrettable posts.</p>
<p>I would never post my child’s SAT scores. To me it’s like posting their IQ or weight or the day of their last period. Come on.</p>
<p>I was very active on Facebook for about 3 years. I really loved reconnecting with old friends even as far back as elementary school to find they are very much the same and as much fun then as now. I also enjoyed reminiscing about summer camp and posting old photos of that time. But I quit cold turkey on Jan 1 of this year and here is why.</p>
<p>Th timeline feature seems a little creepy and stalkerish and would take too much time to painstakingly curate, so it turned me off. Then, as I was moving from at home mom world to professional world, and starting to accumulate friends in both, it got complicated managing the privacy of who could see what, etc. I began to live in fear that something I would post might reflect poorly on me.</p>
<p>But what really turned me off was the bragging and whining, and especially the political posts. If I agreed with one, I would get angry over some injustice, and if I disagreed, I would get mad at my friend! If I ever go back, I might pick maybe 30 friends and block everyone else so they don’t even know I came back.</p>
<p>In so many ways facebookis a minefield with potentials to annoy and offend. As for the SAT, yes, those are the child’s business to post or not post. If the mom posts, if she is friends with any of her child’s friends, now everyone knows. How might a mom or student who did worse feel? Will those who did better gloat? If it has potential to hurt feelings or if you wouldn’t say it to all of your friends’s faces if they were standing around you at a party (yes, imagine each one of them there) would you still blurt it out? I predict as more and more play it safe on Facebook, it will get less and less interesting. That and along with the selling of our personalities and likes to marketers…I just don’t see it as having staying power. Needless to say, I am not an investor.</p>