Making my essay more personal?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi everyone, I have an idea for my Common App essay, but I've sent it out to some readers already, and most of the feedback has been that it should be made more personal. I've explored other topics, but none have really made me as excited as this one has. I would love to be able to use this one, so I was wondering if anyone could help suggest some changes to it to make it more personal. I can PM it to you if you comment here.</p>

<p>If you need any other info, let me know. Thanks in advance! :)</p>

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<p>PM me.</p>

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<p>If you want a second opinion, feel free to PM me as well. :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>You’re welcome to PM me for a third opinion. </p>

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<p>Please PM if you want another pair of eyes to look over it.</p>

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<p>@JohnPaulJohns‌ I’ve actually given in and switched essay topics based on the feedback I’ve gotten, but I really appreciate your offer :)</p>