Match.com

Student Lounge College Life
21

<p>I don’t really get the stigma behind online dating either. When you think about it, the guy you meet at a bar or party is probably just as likely to be a predator as the guy you met off the internet, provided that you’re an adult. (I do realize that adults do specifically go after children on the internet.) </p>

<p>I met my boyfriend online, but it wasn’t something I went looking for. It just sort of happened. We met on a nerdy-type website, and ended up talking and really, really hitting it off. After talking for a few months, we arranged to meet (with our parents present) and we have been together for four and a half years. I don’t see why there is anything wrong with this scenario versus meeting someone at a party. I’m much more proud to say “We started talking online and realized we had a really deep connection” versus “We hooked up at a party and then started talking afterward.”</p>

22

<p>I think online dating is a great way to meet girls when you are older but not whilst in college. The best way to get dates is through meeting girls on campus through freinds, parties on campus. Read some dating books!</p>

23

<p>^ The problem with meeting people at parties is that it is impossible to get a decent picture of somone’s intellect from a party/club meeting (or even casual conversation). It takes a lot of time, which dating sites allow you to bypass.</p>

24

<p>^</p>

<p>The only thing a dating site allows you to “bypass” is the question of “are you single and looking?”. You would still have to take the time to get to know them through conversation, still have to see if your compatible ect ect.</p>

<p>i agree it’s more difficult to have a conversation at a party, but your supposed to keep it simple anyway and save all the other stuff for a real date.</p>

25

<p>I’m not really into online dating… and until two weeks ago I was totally against online dating sites. but i met a really cute and smart guy on this video chat site for students, matchvenue.com and ever since we talk every couple of days. i like it that we can talk about absolutely everything. it’s not like i’m going to date him or something (he’s in a different state anyway), but i find it very cool that we instantly clicked.</p>

26

<p>It’s doable, but I’d think being at college would provide ample dating opportunities. You’re in frequent close proximity to lots of people your age and with similar interests, and can just talk to them, ask around to find out if they’re single, find out whether they have a “reputation.”</p>

<p>A dating site would be more useful if you’re out working and don’t have much time/opportunity for casual contact with potential mates. But for a “typical” college student in the 18-23ish range going to school full-time, you’d probably meet enough people just through ordinary social contact.</p>

27

<p>Yeah there is a stigma due to the fact that online dating is somehow seen as “pathetic” or “socially defunct” in certain regards. This may be true for daters who are socially inept or incapable of finding dates in person, but this is not always the case.</p>

<p>I personally found my current girlfriend in NYC on a dating site, and we’ve been together for almost half a year so far.</p>

<p>A lot of people my age meet boy/girlfriends either through other friends, activities, bars, random encounters, etc, but for me, this just wasn’t cutting it. I work a lot, wasn’t interested in any of my friends’ friends, was totally not into the bar scene, etc. I think online dating does a decent job in terms of screening. You get to filter out people you don’t want to date, and you can find those who fit what you’re looking for. For instance, I value intelligence/humor/passions/wit/etc, and so if I didn’t get that vibe from a profile, I moved on. The chances of meeting someone right for you is increased substantially rather than relying on the hope that you’ll meet that person through random encounters.</p>

<p>Furthermore, you know that everyone on a dating site is more or less looking for similar things.</p>

<p>Of course I only speak for post-college dating, really. I would be inclined to say that a dating site during college might be superfluous but not entirely out of the question. Sometimes you just don’t click well with the average student of your school even if there are many of them.</p>

28

<p>The reason people don’t think very highly of online dating, I think, is just because the people who use it very likely can’t for one reason or another find a girlfriend/boyfriend in real life - which kind of hints at some level of personality (or physical) flaw.</p>

<p>Yeah, you can say that people who don’t need online dating could have potential personality flaws too, but that’s like saying “dating outside of convicted felons doesn’t mean you won’t run into a criminal too”, as a ridiculously extreme example :)</p>

<p>Yeah, you can say business professionals may not have time for real life dating, but if his/her business is so important that he/she can’t devote an hour or so per day to meeting new people, how do you think he/she will find time to devote to you and your relationship?</p>

<p>Either way you look at it: Just as going to a dirty bar you will run into more (on average) flawed girls/guys, in online dating you’ll run into a lot more (on average) flawed girls/guys of a different type.</p>

<p>The only main argument I see for online dating is that it lets you get to know the person before allowing the physical attraction aspect to overwhelm you. The arguments I see against this are:</p>

<p>A) People generally talk differently online than they do in real life, person to person. The personality you get to know online, will be different than in real life. Little mannerisms, form of speech, etc.</p>

<p>B) It seems statistically, no matter how perfectly compatible your personalities are, really long term relationships (like marriages) break up at the same rate. It’s not compatibility that keeps people together ultimately, but respect and a willingness to honor the other and work to resolve things.</p>

<p>C) Considering the above two, online dating pressures you more to make something of a relationship the moment you meet in person, since you’ve known the person for a while before that. This pressure might make you settle for someone who has an annoying mannerism to you, for example, or doesn’t have quite the physical chemistry you’d hoped. Do you really want to spend years with someone who you’d rather talk to online than in person?</p>