The best school is the one that is a leader in combo of Merit awards / personal match to a student. You and your S. are the only people who can decide which one is that. My D. choose her college this way. She did not have any reaches / matches. She applied only to schools that we knew would offer her some Merit money. D. organized her list in the preference sequence. At the end her #2, in-state public, came up on top and she ended up attending there on full tuition Merit scholarship. But she also really liked the school, after numerous visits, including overnight. She had great 4 years there with the experiences and accomplishments that by far exceeded our family expectations.
Best wishes!
If he attends one of the safeties, what opportunities does the merit money open up for him? Would he want to study abroad or spend a postgrad year traveling the world? Is he likely to go to an unfunded grad school program? Will he possibly pursue a low-paying career, and your original college fund could be used for a down payment on a house?
These are both good schools. You can usually find the student newspaper online somewhere. I’d start reading that. One thing to consider is how conservative/liberal the schools feel to your son’s comfort levels. He can likely be happy at many schools! Think of them like grocery stores, not as safeties/matches. Sure, Whole Foods is nice but you can get a lot of the same stuff at FoodTown and it’s half the price. You can make a great meal with ingredients from either store. He will probably know the best fit at a gut level once he visits.
Don’t know how much you know about Ursinus. Very small school in a quiet distant Philadelphia suburb. Not much to do in town and high % of the student body is relatively local. There is a lot of going home on the weekends, staying connected to old HS friends, etc. They are also know for giving a “tuition discount” to virtually everyone even though there was some discussion years ago about discontinuing that .
Good solid school, lots of pre-professionals, many happy students - might have been one of the CTCLs, but not a place that draws many applicants from outside the local 3 -4 state area if that matters to your S. May have seen the local news about the “Ursinus Plague” where they had to shut down the school just recently due to a illness among students and staff. Later found to be a Noro virus and all is well now.
Student body might have changed recently, but it would be unusual for a student to attend from a distance unless there was a very specific program he or she was there for.
@AuntieK - Admitted Student Days are really helpful. We just flew to Purdue this past weekend to check out the school. Although schools always showcase their brightest students at these events you do get a vibe and feeling about the campus. Do a google search for specific universities and student reviews and you will find many different sources as well. We are in a similar situation with our son. I am planning to make a poster listing admitted schools with various stats and have us sit down as a family to help him make a decision. He also has no favorites at this point.
I believe that money has to be part of the consideration and the kid should know that and understand it on some level. We are in a similar situation with our DD and struggled with this as well. How it is presented to each kid may need to be different depending upon their understanding and sensitivity to dollars but I believe they have to consider it.
At this point, we have left it at “We have enough for School A (solid school - match) for 4 years. If you choose School B (merit so lower cost by quite a bit) and graduate in 4 years, we will have that much more left to help you out later (e.g., car, funds for first condo/house, maybe spring break, etc.). If you really think School C (a bit more expensive than school A but not excessive) is the best fit, we will work with you to make it happen and part of that will involve loans on your part.” She didn’t press about what “helping you out later” meant so we didn’t commit to anything specific. All of the schools are solid choices with some slightly “better” than others in terms of reputation but not enough to get caught up in it.
She did not apply to some School D’s (very expensive as in $20 k + more than School A per year and not significantly better than School A) because she knew it was going to mean too much of a stretch for her and us. She already declined a school E that was around $10k more a year more than school A because she said it isn’t worth the extra cost. I don’t know what she will ultimately decide but I know she is at least considering the dollars to some extent while also making sure she is comfortable with the “fit”. I would be happy with any of the choices but the merit would be pretty sweet if that ends up being the choice. 
FWIW, a number of kids from my daughter’s high school have gone to Willamette and have loved it. One young man who is very bright and visually impaired has really thrived there. Don’t know a thing about Ursinus.
Oddly enough, as we get further into our research, some of the safeties are looking better and better in terms of fit. Adapting to the idea that the most competitive/prestigious school to which are daughter can aspire might not be the best choice has been an interesting process!
@Asil65, you would think schools put their best foot forward at accepted student days, but surprisingly it is not always the case! We have had some “interesting” accepted student experiences, for sure. Definitely worth doing, it changed my D2’s decision in April to visit her top 3 choices.
OP, for checking out the vibe before visiting, I use social media. Instagram is my favorite. Find the official site for the school, then find a picture that is tagged with the location, click that location and it brings up all the photos anyone with an open account has tagged with that location. You can see what 100s of different students think is important enough to share. My biggest surprise was one of the safeties for my D has a lot of pictures featuring politics, clubs, and diversity, a reach has a lot of Greek and party pics. In these photos, I can picture my D much more easily in the safety.
I’ve also cruised Reddit, Yikyak, and YouTube (again starting with the school account which often leads to other videos). I’m a total stalker mom.
Well, honestly, the main topics on those student social media sites are always going to be sex, drinking, and politics. They are not for the faint of heart parent… I don’t know if I would judge a whole school by them, as some students are heavy users of social media and might carry more weight than those that aren’t.
@Asil65 – my alma mater (both undergrad & grad) is Purdue. It has even bigger cred out on the west coast than in the midwest; folks here think it’s private/super-exclusive. Lots of Purdue grads in high tech, so if that’s son’s aspiration, he’ll find more fellow grads than he might think!
@palm715, @inparent – I had my first taste of college Insta when D09 was in school. I’d like to think I can’t be shocked, but we shall see!
@mamaedefamilia – good to know re. Willamette. It’s closer to home than I ever thought he might be (an hour away), so we honestly didn’t really think about it much before seeking out safeties. We’ll visit on Friday & see how it feels. Most kids there are from out of state, so it probably won’t have the “5th year of HS” vibe that some schools with lots of his classmates would.
@Big10Grad – love the approach! Not sure if DS would want to go to grad school, but being able to help fund that could be a draw.
@MAB222 – thanks for the info. I had suspected much of what you wrote, but it’s good to have confirmation. Would love for DS not to be at a suitcase school, especially clear across the country. Yes, both of the safeties are CTCLs – not sure if things have changed much since the book came out.
I’ve checked out Reddit, which has little about Ursinus; will check YikYak tonight. And the student papers!
Thanks again, everyone! This is amazingly helpful.
The thought of big merit applications is exciting at first but when they come the mood changes dramatically. In our case the two merit schools were very well liked once we visited, not before. One is at the top of the list right now after a special event this past weekend for the two top scholarship recipients.
It is a roller coaster but we have been very impressed with our son’s ability to see value and objectively evaluate the visits. The two merit schools in terms of campus were nicer than most of the more selective schools, to everyones’ surprise. Ironically, the most rural school got the highest marks in terms of campus facilities and vibe. Once there, he said it doesn’t seem rural at all.
The visit is key for both students and parents.
My son went to Ursinus for the first 2 years of college. It is a CTCL. We visited while we were in PA looking at other schools and were very favorably impressed. Never did I think he would chose to attend there over his other choices and we didn’t push him to accept there even with substantial merit. He had some great opportunities and learning/growth experiences as a Bonner Scholar, but due to finding his passion (not a good major at Ursinus) he moved to a top liberal arts school where he finished his BA and MA. Next stop is an Ivy League for the PhD (tops in his field). He is still quite friendly with many of his Ursinus friends - they are a tight group - and most of them have done well professionally and/or graduate school. I’d suggest visiting the campus and letting him do an overnight. Best of luck!
Willamette is a really nice LAC, from everything I’ve been able to gather. It’s definitely worth a good hard look. If it feels like a good fit for your son from an interests and campus culture standpoint, I’d think long and hard before committing to paying over $100K more for a more selective school. Ursinus seems like a neat place, too, but it’s a notch down from Willamette on a variety of metrics, like test scores for instance.
We always ask “random students” what they think about their school. The student eating pizza, the student working in the bookstore if noone else is around… they tend to give more honest evaluations. One other thing… consider major and predicted after college plans. We told our kids what our college contribution would be before they chose, and we told them that whatever money they had remaining would be theirs. D1 chose a more expensive school with less merit, but elected to graduate early after overloading. Had a bit of money left to sock away. We were very impressed with her financial management. D2 is more likely to go to grad school, and also may want to work in art as a career or a side interest. She is a traditional scholar who is likely to have an even profile (test scores and grades) so may be a good candidate for some academic scholarships. We will likely try to help her get her costs down so she has money remaining for grad school or to pursue her art passion with less concern for immediate income. A nest egg for an artist is very helpful!