Merit Surprise

Parent Cafe
1

Would love some thoughts and advice . . .

My S16 applied to 6 schools; 2 reaches (rejected), 3 matches (1 acceptance, and waiting on 2 others), 2 safeties (accepted), and one super-safety state flagship (accepted).

We are fortunate enough to not qualify for financial aid, and we have saved (and saved!) to be able to afford full freight at all of the schools on his list. While we love him completely, we didn’t expect that he would receive much other than maybe token merit at the schools he applied to. We were wrong.

State flagship offered him a modest merit award, and the 2 safeties came in with what to us feels like giant awards (1 for $22K/year, the other for $25.5K/year). Holy cow. We self-toured one of his safeties, but don’t really have a sense for the student community there. The other safety is close to home, so we’ll visit at the end of the week.

So now, we’re trying to figure out how much more his matches would be worth paying for vs. his safeties with merit. The one EA match is his sister’s alma mater – she loved it there, but not sure it’s worth $100K more than a safety. We’ve visited the other 2 matches a couple of times, so we do have a better sense of them than the safeties. I think any of the match schools would be great fits for S16, but am not sure about the safeties.

S16 is flexible and practical, so is leaning toward picking a safety, but I don’t want him making a decision that would make him miserable in order to save us $$. I’ve been doing as much research about his safeties as I can online, and there are some not-so-great comments about both, but then again, there are some (not as many, though) similar comments about my daughter’s alma mater that don’t sync up with what I know of the school.

If he loved one of the safeties, I’d be all for it, of course. He doesn’t appear to be completely in love with any of the schools on his list, though.

Gaah.

2

What did you tell him before application time about how much you would contribute and financial implications of his college choices?

There are other threads describing how parent/student relationships are strained because the parent is forcing/pressuring the student to choose the cheapest option, even though the parent did not tell the student before application time that cost would have to be a major factor. Be very careful about how you approach this if you had previously told him that you would pay list price for any of the schools or that money was not a concern.

3

Good problems to have. Consider going to accepted students days. Much should start to resolve with him after the school visits when he has a feel for the potential fits. For some kids, a good award is a feel good sign that the school wants them. There is nothing wrong with saving money for grad school, a down payment, or to start an IRA for him. Also be sure to check the 4 year graduation rates before you count your savings.

4

So all schools are equivalent? It doesn’t sound like he has visited all the schools. I suggest he visits the accepted schools (accepted student events?), do an overnight, attend a couple of classes so he can get a feeling of each.

Is he doing any research on these schools?

After he has heard from all and visited, have a family meeting and ask him what he thinks. If he is indifferent, you may need to guide him through the decision process.

5

My son also got a merit surprise. He was deciding between it and a full pay school, so we took him to visit both again. He ended up choosing the merit school. A revisit, if possible, is the only way your son is going to figure this out, especially if he doesn’t have a clear first choice.

6

Check out the honors program/college offerings at your state flagship. Some middle of the road public U’s have super opportunities for the best students. I’ll assume you are not from one of the states with known top flagship U’s (we were lucky to have one which also had a great honors program- made justifying many private schools difficult. like you finances were not an issue).

7

^Isn’t it a little late for that?

8

No- now is the time to more fully examine what going to schools actually entails. Look to see if there are rigorous courses available. This student needs to also look at which classes he would take for a proposed major at the other schools. There may be one that offers more than the others.

9

Take the money! It’s good to feel wanted.

10

Try to visit for an admitted students day and have him do an overnight for those safeties. It would give him more information for making his decision.

11

Thanks much for the advice!

We’re not discouraging him from picking one of his matches…just want to be really sure he wants to go there, if that’s what he chooses. In fact, I’m more concerned about him thinking the match schools are out of the picture due to the merit $$ (which isn’t our intent).

I’ve read some awesome threads about going where they love you – there’s a lot to be said for that, and my son is feeling it a bit, too.

We are planning a trip to the east coast to attend admitted students’ day, and may make an extra visit to the admitted match school while we’re out there. Friday is the day for the in-state LAC, so that will be helpful, too. I like the recommendation to look more closely at actual classes, too, especially since one of the safeties is a bit smaller than the other schools.

He’s not considering the flagship anymore – one thing we do know is that he flourishes with smaller class sizes (he’s doing the IB diploma now and has small classes). Lots of our daughters’ classmates went to Flagship Honors & loved it, but we all agree that it wouldn’t be a fit for my son.

Any ideas on how to get a culture read in advance of the visit?

12

Follow the official school FB account, along with other side pages … school newspaper, student govt, radio station, president’s page, etc.

Does the school have visit reports here on cc? Is there a page?

He could join the official new students FB page, if there is one.

Listen to school radio station, if it’s streamed online. Read the college newspaper.

Any current students from your HS?

When you’re on campus read the boards where kids post fliers.

Lastly, ask us about the school!!! :wink:

13

please tell us what colleges you are talking about.
$100K more could be well worth it for some colleges, but not for others.

14

His scholarship schools are Ursinus and Willamette. I’ve read everything I can about both on CC, and would welcome anything you could add!

15

Hmmm. All I know about Williamette is that a LOT of kids from my boys’ HS applied there this year. Not sure what has attracted them, but this is a highly competitive school, so that bodes well, in my mind.

16

My daughter applied to only matches and safeties. It was one of the safeties that really came through with a great merit award and she loved the campus so it was a no brainer for her to go there. She’s now a freshman and she loves it. There was one other school that we all loved and I’m sure she would have been happy there. It was higher profile and a bit more selective. Over four years it would have cost almost $60K more to attend that school over the one she is attending. Her school fits our budget and allows her to graduate debt free. The more expensive school was great, but didn’t feel like it was worth it to pay an additional $60k.

17

what are his match schools?

18

We are in a similar situation. Son actually loved the safety that is now offering a big merit award until some kids from his school he doesn’t like got in, and now he’s cooled off on it. I think it would be a great fit, and the money doesn’t hurt either. So no advice, just commiseration.

19

DS recommends Reddit to see what students are talking about.

20

If he can stay overnight as part of the accepted student visits, he should. We found that 24 hours on campus is very revealing. Reddit isn’t very active at my kid’s college, Yik Yak is the thing there.