<p>It might depend on what they are used to. We live in what has been (the past few years, anyway) the wealthiest county in the country. Of course, there are a lot of us middle class people here and some who poor, but D is used to some classmates having large clothing budgets, fancy cars, many expensive trips, etc. She will be going to NYU next year, but like I said it might not be such a big difference for her.</p>
<p>I agree with the above poster who mentioned how this falls under the realm of "fit" for each student.</p>
<p>Having 3 in college all at the same time now and at 3 very different institutions has provided me with a great view on the varying experiences.</p>
<p>Middle daughter at a far, far away OOS public in the southwest, one son at an ivy and another at a service academy.</p>
<p>They have found there is a mix of socio-economic classes at each however, the percentages of each are at the polar opposites of the spectrum. They managed to find a good fit for themselves. Son has spent some time (summer classes) with sis and he was in for an eye-opener. She has spent time on his campus and said she did feel overwhelmed whereas he thrives on it (trust funds and all!)...he is the one in soccer slides on their snow days and a tux for winter formals bought off Ebay!. When they both visited and spent time with other brother said the pressure (not including the academic at all) to perform within a military lifestyle and all that entails was just unfathomable to them.</p>
<p>They all come from a low-income household and have provided for themselves in different ways but seem to have come to terms with their environment and their lack of "discretionary" funds.</p>
<p>So I can understand OP's first post about some feeling left out if they are not as financially well-off as others but I think when picking school's as far as "fit" that would come into play. It did in our family with the kiddos that it mattered to and was not a point of discussion with the others. </p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>^^^ From what I can see, the kids at NYU seem to have no end of money to spend. It may be that they are in the middle of so many temptations -- all their favorite clothing stores plus a billion restaurants to choose from. The local Whole Foods is packed with students, especially with kids eating from the copious salad/fresh food bars. You would think they were giving the food away. I keep thinking, didn't your parents pay for the cafeteria food? The kids at Columbia, on the other hand, have much fewer choices(temptations) in the neighborhood. I wonder if they spend less.</p>
<p>My daughter, who goes to a rural college, definitely spends way less money than we thought she would. There just isn't anything to spend money on. She would easily go through the same money in a week in NYC.</p>
<p>I know of one girl who transferred out of a private school b/c there was a big social scene that was off campus; going to clubs, restaurants; into town-- it wasn't so much the expense of it-- just she didn't like going to clubs. She visited a big rah-rah state school, went to a keg party where everyone was wearing school sweatshirts & then realized that was what she wanted in a school. Academics aside; choose a school that kids stay on campus --its alot cheaper, safer & more fun than nightclubs. </p>
<p>Wake Forest sports tickets are included in the tuition-- I think that's great & improves the level of school spirit (plus great teams).</p>
<p>My kids had no trouble saying, "I can't afford it" when in fact, they couldn't afford something (Spring break, weekend ski trip, expensive theater tickets.) But that's how we raised them- be grateful that you live better than 99.9% of the people who have ever walked the planet and don't fret about how the other .1 % are spending their dough. I have a cousin at a private college who is always grousing about what other kids can afford- she's the only one without a car, she's the only one who isn't going to Europe as a graduation gift, etc. But that's how she was raised... her parents are similarly wired into their own deprivations, perceived or otherwise.</p>
<p>So pick a school where your kids can find their niche in all the other arenas, and feel confident that college will teach them good, life lessons on how to find entertainment you can afford.</p>
<p>Packmom: have heard the same exact quote...wonder if it's the same school???hmmm</p>
<p>D1 is at a Div I private known for spoiled, rich kids.....she is neither, nor has she found this to be an issue ("found her own").....but it's about personality as well as fit; she has always conserved $$ and panics when she spends a little "too much".....we are shocked how little she has spent of the $$ she started with.....</p>
<p>wise words from all, especially blossom (as usual).....</p>
<p>excellent topic, I will ask our DD to see how she is dealing with the sitaution. She was given a cc for emergency only and no spending money. So far we have not seen any problem.</p>
<p>We live on the outside of a very rich community. So both our kids have well experienced such environment - a lot of rich kids in HS. I was told some will take family jet to places for spring break.</p>
<p>Not a problem with my daughter. Most of her friends on her floor are attending based on scholarships( eventhough some students can be deemed rich by the location of their family residences). So far her spending has been limiting to less than $100/month.</p>
<p>does anyone know anything about Bowdoin? I know only 42% are on FA and it has many wealthy families, but do kids feel left out if they are struggling to pay tuition?</p>
<p>A little off-topic - many moons ago I was a lower middle-class scholarship kid at a Top 50 LAC with quite a few wealthy students. It did not bother me socially, those of us with little to no funds found creative ways to entertain ourselves, as I am sure they do today. Where it did bother me was during senior year when those with the right 'connections' got the choice interviews and job offers (many of whom were never seen in class). Those of us with the highest GPA's in the department did not even get a sniff at places like Goldman Sachs or Arthur Andersen when they came to campus.</p>
<p>The Cancun comment reminded me of a story that my dad loved to tell his friends - it is a tradition after the Parents Day football game that all the fraternities on campus hold open houses. I, wanting to impress my parents, took them to the fraternity with the best food, the best liquor and the most trust-fund brothers. The brother tending bar asked my father - "sir, you have a great tan, where did you just come back from?", thinking that he must of obviously gone on a fantastic tropical vacation or cruise. The smile on my father's face, tanned and weathered from decades of outdoor labor as an ironworker, was priceless, I remember it to this day....</p>
<p>My S seemed to adjust well his first year at his private college. There any many wealthy kids there. He seemed to think that it was funny last year when he would call asking for money and I would transfer what I thought was a reasonable amount. He laughed and said I give him $50 which was more than enough and some kids there would get $500 every time they asked.
This year he is living off his summer money and seems to ask less and less for help from us.</p>
<p>Justhismom- you have a great kid!</p>
<p>We are lower middle class and ds is attending a private LAC with many wealthy students. He also went to a high school with many wealthy students, so it really hasn't been a big issue. He spends within his means, takes advantage of free activities at school and has no issue with having a work study job.</p>
<p>I definitely think that students need to think about these things when applying to schools. Ultimately, I chose my expensive private school because it was the closest to home and had the best program for my major around, but in some ways I really didn't consider some of the ramifications of being a low-income student in that kind of environment. </p>
<p>In terms of spending, it has been a reasonable concern, but my school is not in a large city, so usually I face the (relatively minor) costs of frequent shopping trips and not eating at the dining hall. My solution has been to tag along, but to not buy anything/order cheaply in order to save as much of my summer earnings as possible. Doing so has definitely involved some sacrificing, because it is honestly tiresome to go to these places and not be able to enjoy them fully, nor is it easy to be good company when you're not impressed by the idea that your friend needs a new outfit for every time she sees her new boyfriend. </p>
<p>However, I really think that spending money is such a minor concern when compared to the simple reality of different cultures. I have a really hard time relating to the people around me because of my radically different values and life experiences. It's not that my friends want to spend money when we go out; I can budget and tag along without spending in most instances and it's mostly just a minor annoyance. The big problem is when the topic of discussion is Disney vacations, American Girl dolls, summer camp, Girl Scouts, or club sports. What do you say when you've never had or done any of those things? </p>
<p>I always used to get mad at my little brother when he would pester my parents for videogames and consoles that we really couldn't afford, or wanting expensive sportswear and name brand athletic shoes. Now I realize that doing so has allowed him to become a social chameleon, and when he goes to college I don't think he'll notice the class differences like I do, because I always just hung out with people with the same life experiences that I had. Now that those people aren't around anymore, with a few exceptions here and there, I'm left trying to learn how to cope in a strange and tumultuous environment.</p>
<p>Great topic. I'd actually worry more about feeling out of place with limited funds at tuition driven colleges than at the sort of schools that get most of the press on CC. The elite colleges have loads of students, including many international students, who are dirt poor. Staying on campus instead of going on the ski trip or into the city might mean meeting some of the most interesting kids on campus.</p>
<p>***? Lets not rub elbows with someone down the street who might have more money? Why not sit around and watch CNN all day! Get out there and make a difference! Perseverance means more than a bank account. Why don't we all disable our kids and cry in our beer because we're not worthy! What garbage!</p>
<p>I heartily agree that the spending money issue is part of "fit". We were a middle class family; my father managed a factory, and my mother was a SAHM and substitute teacher. My hometown was a suburban/farming community where if people had money, and some people must have, it was not flaunted. Folks were frugal regardless of their resources, so wealth was never in-your-face.</p>
<p>When I went off to school--which, btw, was the same place as Rachacha--it was eye-opening to meet people who oozed money. One guy actually had a real gold-handled toothbrush! While I usually didn't find it too hard to say no to outings I couldn't afford, occasionaly I did feel a bit left out and deprived. It helped that I had friends in similar economic circumstances. But I can't tell you how many times kids responded in confusion to my honest explanation about why I couldn't go somewhere, like skiing or out to dinner. When I said I'd love to, but couldn't afford it or didn't have the money, they seemed to always assume this lack of funds was merely a temporary cash flow problem. They thought I could just borrow some cash from them or another friend. It was humiliating to explain that while I could borrow, I wouldn't ever be able to pay it back!</p>
<p>What schools are considered schools with primarily high income students?</p>
<p>I really have to ask about how wealthy these people are? I mean are they million dollar home wealthy or are they multimillion dollar home wealthy?
I am middle class (income only about 110K) and live in an area with a wide cross section with homes from less than 100K to over multimillion and we go to the same schools, many people drive mercedes and bmw and the overall feel is pretty normal and I don't really notice the income difference, depsite the fact that many of my friends parents make significantly more than my parents do. </p>
<p>So are the kids at these schools like really rich like living off family money rich or are they like 1 million a year lawyer rich? Because there is probably a big difference.</p>
<p>My son goes to a state school. He seems to know all of the high rollers there as many of his friends have their cars at school, go on vacations instead of working during breaks, and seem to always have money ready in their pockets whereas he is on a tight budget. I do not believe that we are in the lower end of family income for students going to that school. I think we just are tighter with the discretionary spending. </p>
<p>One young man we know had a nice SUV in high school. His parents were divorced; neither lived in high cost housing, there was not that much money in the families but everything they could spare went to him. They did not want to deny him a thing. He dressed better than my kids in the newest designer stuff, always had a pocket full of spending money, credit card, and was game to go anywhere at any price. He was their main indulgence. We don't live that way with our kids.</p>