<p>I don't want to misinterpret MIT's essay prompt. Could someone please provide some clarification as to what prompt B is asking for? I'm wondering whether my essay will fit their "mold". </p>
<p>Here's a general description of my essay:</p>
<p>The essay begins with a vivid description of a smog-polluted world. It then goes on to describe my being affected by this vision and my being motivated to somehow change our planet. The essay transitions to my collaboration with a number of professors and forum members in finding a way to produce hydrogen (to replace conventional petroleum) developing at an extremely efficient rate. The essay then goes on to describe what its discovery means to the worldhow it can and will make a difference. Throughout the essay, I emphasize my inventive abilities, perseverance, and inner motivations, and my aspirations to make the planet a better place.</p>
<p>Here's the Prompt:</p>
<p>An application to MIT is much more than a set of test scores, grades and activities. It's often a reflection of an applicant's dreams and aspirations, dreams shaped by the worlds we inhabit. We'd like to know a bit more about your world. Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations</p>
<p>Would greatly appreciate any assistance you can provide.
Thanks!</p>
<p>alright, I'm gonna be blatantly honest. </p>
<p>STOP MAKING THIS INTO A MISS AMERICA CONTEST</p>
<p>lol didn't mean to sound harsh. And now onto the advice.</p>
<p>Focus on one event or two events in your life and show how they have been a major part of your life and what you have learned from those events. and rmbr...SHOW don't TELL.</p>
<p>I agree, and although your topic is very interesting and impressive, it does seem like a 'solution for world peace' kind of thing! I'd say go with something unique about you and your hometown. I really dont think a smog filled world has changed your life- but maybe something else has. Like your family. Your friends. Your community- basically what the prompt asks for. Write something more personal.</p>
<p>If I have discovered what I say I have (and I have), then why wouldnt it be something to talk about? It is a great hook and definately makes me stand out. Do you think they wont believe me? </p>
<p>In either case, do you think it still fits the prompt?</p>
<p>Also, the premonition of a smog filled world, changed my life, the reports by the departments for air pollution changed my life, my experiences in some of the more polluted parts of the world (Like India and Pakistan) changed my life.</p>
<p>been there done that...and well they have influenced my life but trust me...you should go in a more personal direction (not world direction) with your essay. It'll reflect more on who you are.</p>
<p>I don't know if I'm misinterpreting the prompt, but doesn't it want to know how we are influenced by our world? How our being influenced by our world has shaped our dreams and aspirations? If I write an essay about a couple of experiences, how does this describe how I was influenced by the world? My response, however, shoes a direct cause and effect--my going to some of the polluted streets of the third-world and then being influenced to find a way to reduce pollution. The essay directly shows my deams and aspirations being shaped by my world. How would a more personal direction depict my being affected by the world? Also, can't I try to interweave some more about me into the essay? I really want to use this response because it highlights my strengths.</p>
<p>My guess is that those responding to you may assume your essay to be more of a research piece than a personal essay showing who you are. The key, as merudh123 said, is to "show, don't tell". If you are demonstrating the effects you mention through personal experiences and reflections, rather than listing them in a more impersonal fashion, it's likely the essay will be more compelling and memorable.</p>
<p>If you want to write about that so bad then just go ahead and write about it.</p>
<p>If I ever have trouble figuring out what a prompt wants, I underline the key verbs.</p>
<p>Here's what it boils down to:</p>
<p>"Describe the world you come from"
"Has as it affected your aspirations"</p>