mixed news

<p>The only reason I mention the recommendations is that there is not much you can do if you have an unflattering recommendation. That's why I might pursue this line, because if this is the reason he didn't receive any acceptances, perhaps you could discuss this with the GC or teacher and either get them to write a new, updated recommendation or get an additional recommendation from another teacher. </p>

<p>I any event, I would try to get an addition recommendation or two for him to send to the admissions office and his regional rep. Also, have you asked the GC to speak to the regional rep to see what his chances are and/or what he might do to improve his chances of an acceptance?</p>

<p>Just writing to say my heart goes out to you, Andi and your son and anyone else still waiting. The letter our D received yesterday raised our own hopes again. It's such an emotional roller-coaster! Our D loved Swat from the first visit and she and we would be elated if she could attend. So we know how you feel. I hope my D, Andi's son and all of you still waiting will make it after all....</p>

<p>Andi - If you feel like discussing gap years at all, just to while away the time before mid-June, it might be a valuable discussion with all the resources here. The thing I keep thinking is that somehow the adcoms just couldn't see your son's being. So, if it turns out to be necessary, he should do a gap year that really comes from himself, allows him to grow and flourish and develop his skills and his persona. Not to package himself, just to become more fully formed and visible - which is what we are all trying to do anyway all life long. And talking about stuff that helps our kids grow and flourish and develop is always a pleasure...</p>

<p>ColumbiaMom--welcome to CC. Your thinking makes a great deal of sense, of course, but unfortunately Andi and her son have been coping with this situation for so long that they've already explored this path and many others. (See <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=47867%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=47867&lt;/a> and other threads.)</p>

<p>Andi--I ought to know better by now than to predict anything in this process, but I like to think that Swarthmore wouldn't be so cruel as to string people along if there weren't a very strong chance of admission. I continue to hope every day for a good outcome there, and to wish you and your son the strength to keep remembering that he has too much talent and intelligence not to triumph in the long run no matter what. (I also like what Alumother says, above, about exploring a gap year, which might offer more possibilities for positive action than waiting for the adcom's final decision.)</p>

<p>Alumother and editrix I do actually feel that I can 'think' about a gap year now. Just couldn't even consider it before. I guess that's progress :rolleyes: </p>

<p>S and I have had some positive conversations about it. </p>

<p>He passionately loves his classical piano playing but likely won't major in music. So, he is thinking that this might be a time, the only time, where he could really devote himself to it. As he has been with his teacher for ten years, they both agree that it's time for him to move on. She has found a talented Russian teacher who would be willing to work with him. A friend has just let us know about a different piano teacher who has a lot of students and often has advanced students such as s, teach her beginners. So one thought is that he could study with his new teacher and also teach to help cover the cost of his own lessons, which will be expensive.</p>

<p>We don't have the funds to send him abroad or on any exotic expeditions. (we have another kid in college already) Do you think this would not look impressive enough to adcoms? Does he need to be doing something that will be dramatic and eyecatching to admissions officers?</p>

<p>achat the thought of admissions people reading all of this is horrifying.</p>

<p>Columbiamom I hope I didn't come across as abrupt. I do appreciate your interest and look forward to having you on CC!</p>

<p>"achat the thought of admissions people reading all of this is horrifying."</p>

<p>Andi - honestly, I don't think that's true at all. They know there are people still sitting on pins and needles, looking for alternatives, agonizing about what went wrong, and hoping (praying) for a break. Hey - they set up this situation! I don't think you have anything to fear in that regard. </p>

<p>38 years ago, I sat on the Williams waiting list, with no support from a web board, and parents who wanted me to go to City College of New York. Been there.</p>

<p>Hang in....</p>

<p>Andi - Needless to say I don't have any data on what adcoms think:) My anecdotal data is that my D was accepted to those schools where her essays and supplemental materials showed her real self, and WL at those schools where she just looked like one of the Ivy-applicant crowd. She added a CD of ballet and a really heartfelt yet total teenage-speak essay on my sister's adopted daughter - that seems to be part of what did it. Those two things did reflect her real self and also who she will be in the world as she grows up. Not that she will be a dancer, but the poise she shows dancing is what makes her unique for her age, and the sentiment she has for my sister really showed that she is and always will be someone who thinks from the heart first.</p>

<p>My D is clearly not the subject here. And if you really want to hear stories PM me about what a pistol she can also be:) Anyway, I am just pointing out that I truly believe that this year, if it is a gap, ought to be from your S's heart. And, maybe, also bring him out a little bit, to see who he is in the world. If piano is his heart - where will he play? Will he perform? If he is going to teach, can he also share his gift with the less-privileged by doing some volunteering? Can he participate in research on music and musicians? Can he keep a weblog on what he learns and how and what it means to him? I remember you said he is funny - can that be developed at the same time as the piano?</p>

<p>Let's pretend there are no adcoms. Let's pretend this is just for his growth. What can music teach him about himself? About the world outside the doors of his high school? And given that there are adcoms, since they are people, I truly believe they want most of all to see humans. So it doesn't have to be fancy or dramatic, just contributing to his humanity and the humanity of his community.</p>

<p>I'm so impassioned here because I know, 100%, that if this does wind up a gap year it could wind up an amazing experience. And, BTW, still crossing all digits and limbs.</p>

<p>Just to throw a couple of ideas out there for gap years. There is a charter school in Roxbury started by a Harvard grad and currently run by a Swarthmore grad. I would think that volunteering to teach piano to the middle school kids could be a worthwhile part of a gap year. </p>

<p>Likewise, a City Year program could be a worthwhile growth experience.</p>

<p>Andi, if you can bear to do it, perhaps posting for ideas for a gap year, would spark a usedful discussion for you and others.
If you can support him gas, food and clothes wise - maybe he could get a parttime job in addition to the music teaching, and save the money for 6 months to use for travel, or an enrichment/volunteer program that you cannot otherwise afford. He needs to do some of the legwork (or Internet surfing as the case may be) to plan what he wants to do, because he will need to write about his strike-out, his plan and goals for this year and how that worked and what he learned - it could be a very thoughtful and powerful application.</p>

<p>Consider it posted Cangel!!</p>

<p>andi, after posting on your gap year thread, I read this and realized that my response on there was not as helpful as it could have been...</p>

<p>As another poster suggested, a great way of financing some time abroad would be to work for 6 months and go abroad for 2 or 3. Not only would that lessen or eliminate the financial burden, but it would make the experience abroad that much more rewarding for your son, knowing that he paid for his own trip. In my case, I have quite a bit of money saved that I would have put towards college but will instead spend (some of? i don't know) on a gap year abroad. I know that it will mean taking out more student loans when I do go to college, but I think my experiences abroad will be worth every penny. Another possibility is getting a paid job abroad. There are plenty of opportunities to work abroad in which one doesn't have to pay for anything (work in exchange for room and board and possibly airfare), and even some that will actually pay for room, board, airfare, plus a wage. Another idea is joining Americorps (<a href="http://www.americorps.org/)%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.americorps.org/)&lt;/a>, which is a one-year committment, but there are tons of options for what your son could be doing, and they give a stipend and/or a college scholarship for his service. Planning a gap year is NOT easy...it takes a lot of time and effort, but it will be worth it. Best of luck!</p>

<p>If he's interested in building houses with and for tsunami victims in south India, with some of the most amazing people on the planet, and at virtually no cost to you but airfare, I've got the place.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.lafti.net%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.lafti.net&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>My daughter left for there on Thursday (is currently in Cambodia). You can read about her work at shantinik.blogspot.com She is younger than your son.</p>

<p>I think what's important in a gap year is kids getting out of their "comfort zone" and anything that does that -- whether it's giving piano lessons to inner city kids if you're from an affluent suburb, or taking language classes overseas -- could be worthwhile</p>

<p>Of course not knowing much about andi's son, I don't know if this is a consideration. But I wonder if a kid who stays close to home might feel defeated if he sees all his friends going off to wherever. Maybe a complete change of scenery would be good.</p>

<p>Americorp can be a great program, though I only know college kids who have done it.</p>

<p>mchs makes a good point about working at home. when i decided to take a year off, i promised myself that i would make plans to be out of the country (or at least out of my hometown) by the time everyone else left for college. the last thing i want after dreaming of independence all through high school (not that i don't love my parents, but i need a change) is to end up living at home for another year. if your son feels that way, see if you can arrange it so that he doesn't have to be at home. th piano thing sounds cool, but is it possible for him to stay with a relative somewhere else and teach piano there? or volunteer teaching piano part-time and work part-time while living in an apartment somewhere (paying for it himself with his wage, if possible)? i really think getting away from home for at least half the year is key...</p>

<p>Andi, Really hoping and can't see why Swat wouldn't come through for your son. However, what about schools that take some kids starting in the January semester? Is it too late to apply? I know St. John's has a really personal admissions policy and if your son was enthusiastic about going there I think they would take him. (I suggest this because my son also looked at Swarthmore and really preferred St. John's.)</p>

<p>insertnamehere, richfrank, mdparent - have any of you heard anything else??
andi</p>

<p>No, all is quiet. Did the letter say there wouldn't be any news till after the 15th? I don't remember exactly.</p>

<p>It said that he would write with another update by the 15th of June. The letter is dated the 20th of May. Half way there.</p>

<p>Columbiamom, I have finally gotten the two original recommendations. I'm going to post snippets of them here partly because I know you have a child who's applying next year and it may give you an idea of how random the process can be. In addition to his top GPA, test scores and nationally recognized EC these were some of the comments on his recs:</p>

<p>first rec:
"passionate about life and ideas and blessed with an independent spirit, this is a young man of great promise."
"in every area of the class, s's work was excellent."
"strengths are prolific and varied."
"but it would be short-sighted to only concentrate on this young mans's clear intellectual gifts when what is most outstanding about him is his warmth and passion"
"he always saw complexity in the texts we studied and it was lovely to see a student with that much heart express his opinions so clearly and honestly."</p>

<p>from the other rec:
"....this attention to detail was evident in the high quality of his written work."
"He was a welcome presence in our class because he pushed our discussions in new directions and added humor to most activities."
"...thanks to his fine mind and dedication..."
"He stands out as one of the brightest and most creative students of my twenty-five year career."</p>

<p>These are just some of the comments. There are anecdotes that illustrate his passion for learning, participation in the classroom and great character.</p>

<p>These two classes were top honors courses in a very competitive school.</p>

<p>Funny, bright, creative, warm. Hmm. It is sort of difficult to figure out, isn't it.</p>