Mom hates my friends; social life on hiatus

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>My dad tends to be busy with work and travelling a lot, so his role in decision-making in regards to my life is non-existant. So it's my mom who has all the opinions about what I do.</p>

<p>Anyway, she has recently informed me of her dislike, even hatred, for the type of friends I hang around with. I must say I was absolutely flabbergasted, as my friends are not stoners, potential dropouts, or nymphomaniacs. They're well-behaved, normal fun kids that I enjoy being around. So what's their crime? Well, my mom tries to dress it up in different ways, but it's basically a class issue. My friends' parents are generally working class types, as in not white collar managers, professionals, etc. They don't drive luxury SUVs, they sometimes wear shabby clothes with faded baseball caps, and they sometimes have to take the bus. (BTW, I'm talking about the parents here, not the kids). So my mom doesn't want to associate with those kinds of people, and since she can't have a relationship with my friends' parents, she feels left out of my social life. </p>

<p>What really bothers me is that while I love my mom and would do many things for her, I am not out to make friends for her. You don't simply choose friends like you choose fruit at a grocery store. There are just certain people who feel totally at ease with, to feel absolutely free to be yourself. That's a rare thing to find, my friend. Often, it takes me 6-8 months to ease myself and start to attach myself to a new group of people in a new environment, then perhaps another 6-8 months to fully integrate myself. </p>

<p>My mom often complains that I spend too much time at home, not doing things with my friends. But when something does come up, she often tries to block it, or rather limit the time I spend to be a bare minimum. She says how my friends are always weird for not inviting me to stuff, but just a few days ago, one of my best friends asked me to go to a rock concert. Instead of being happy, I had to practically fight my way out to the door, trying to reason with her to the last minute until I could finally get consent. Of course, I then found out that her real problem was with my friends themselves, not the fact that I didn't do anything on weekends.</p>

<p>So basically, right now, I'm going nowhere. It's spring break, and I want to do stuff with my friends, but if I called one of them up, I'd get an earful from dear mother. I'm not asking for any advice, I just wanted to vent my feelings and frustrations. Feel free to comment, I'm sure many of you have experienced something similar to this.</p>

2

<p>i think you should have a serious conversation with your mom and tell her about the things you wrote in this thread.</p>

3

<p>It is good that your mom is an active role in your life but she needs to let you have the friends that make you happy. I agree with j3ff and think you should talk with you mom and tell her how you truly feel. Maybe if she hears how this is really bothering you, she may change.</p>

4

<p>Once again, agreed: you need to talk to your mom about this. From your (of course subjective) perspective, your mom's view seems like such BS.. It's not like your friends have a negative effect on your or anything. If they have awesome personalities, your mom really needs to learn to ease up.</p>

5

<p>You should throw knives at your mom....</p>

<p>that tends to work</p>

6

<p>lol... that would be included in the loving captainmatthew?</p>

<p>but seriously, talk it out with her, maybe try to find ways for her to associate with ur friends parents on a more personal level, maybe if she knew them, she'd feel more comfortable?</p>

7

<p>wow your mom is a dick</p>

8

<p>try posting this on the parents' forum-- they will give you awesome advice</p>

9

<p>In the back of my mind, I'm kinda thinking along the lines of spydertennis too, haha..</p>

<p>Because, well, even if you are just being frank and open, your mom gives really shallow reasons to now let you hang out w/friends.</p>

10

<p>
[quote]
wow your mom is a dick

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Could you not say something like that? This is a serious problem with my mom, but I didn't come here to slam her behind her back with a bunch of anonymous internet buddies.</p>

<p>Basically, I think I figured it out. She and I have had a few more "talks" (more like her talking all the time), and what she wants is for me to have friends whose parents are more involved. When I hang out with my friends, I usually don't see their parents, or if I do, it's never more than a quick hello and goodbye. My mom has told me that she wants me to be friends who are not only of a similar class background (i.e. professional parents, live near our middle class neighbourhood, etc.), but whose parents are the types who'll invite me over for dinner, and all that motherly stuff. I can understand her point of view, but to me, it seems really "square" (I don't know how else to describe it) for her to expect this sort of Beaver-esque happy-dappy suburban atmosphere. I mean, I'm supposed to be friends with my friends, not their parents for God's sake.</p>

11

<p>all my friends are stoners drug dealers and thugs, and yet im not one
my parents dont really like my friends that much haha</p>