I know a guy who was a Marine mechanic. He went straight out of HS, did 6 yrs in the service, and has been in banking ever since. He is now a senior commercial lending officer after being in banking for 15 years. Never got his bachelors.
I’ve just heard of a guy who graduated Harvard and went to work on Wall Street for a year. Feels this is all just too superficial and is signing up to try to become a navy seal. Parents are desperately trying to talk him out of it. But he knows what he wants and they are not able to stop him.
He never stopped by last night, so I have no new information. Hopefully I will be able to have a long heart-to-heart with him soon to see if he was just having another bad day or if he seriously wants to look for a new career. He is having a rough year, most of it not job-related, and I worry about him doing something impulsive. Some of the guys he went to HS with are having serious problems, and with the ADHD I feel like I need to watch him closely. Fortunately, he seems to reach out to me most of the time when things are not going well.
The father of ADHD claimed that it was a fictitious disease prior to his death. There is a lot of literature out there on the subject…
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/jan/6/adhd-fake-disorder-neurologist-turned-author-says/
http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/c/268155/162810/add-adhd-fiction-real-disease/
http://www.cchrint.org/2013/10/30/adhd-is-a-fictitious-disease/
Really? Do we have to take this thread down a conspiracy theory/is ADD real rabbit hole? Let’s not. It has no relevance to the OP’s question.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Not unless someone wants to start a new discussion about it; it has zero relevance to the original question, so please do not discuss it here.
I think the USMC is good idea for him. One caveat, as this happened to a friend’s son, so be careful:
The boy wanted to join the Marine Corps but had an issue with his background (not ADHD, a juvenile arrest record that was sealed by the court). The recruiter told him it would not be an issue and signed him up. When it came time to do his entrance testing, the recruiter then told him he had to lie about the issue because it would get him disqualified and that it was “no big deal” to lie. The kid refused, citing the part of the contract where if he is caught lying it is prosecutable and he may have to reimburse the USMC for what they had spent on him.
They refused to admit him but, since he had already signed the papers, they also refused to release him. It took 12 months in limbo and lots of effort to finally get a release. He learned his lesson, got everything in writing from the USAF, and is now going through Air Force training. Make sure he treats the recruiter like a used car salesman and gets everything written and signed. They are notorious for promises they don’t intend to keep.
Your son sounds intelligent. And, the military is good for many people, from my experience working very closely with military staffs. I would echo Magnetron’s general suspicion of recruiter promises.
From your original post, one comment leapt out to me: “I think he is finding that this is not his dream job. It is hard work and the boss doesn’t always treat him great. Apparently today was a bad day, so he has brought up the Marines again.” Absolutely remind him this feeling could occur in this new career – and at that point, quitting will no longer be an option. (My WWII Army vet Dad would only say to me, succinctly, “Never take a job you can’t quit.”)
Should he remain interested in military service, he should also talk to other Services. Each has it’s own culture and strengths. I imagine he’d be unlikely to be interested in doing this, but it would be worthwhile.
Hope this helps you a little. Good luck!
My nephew didn’t really know what he wanted, either. He went to college for a semester or so, then dropped out and got a low paying job. At some point he said he wanted join the military. My SIL, like you, really didn’t want him going to Iraq (at the time)…so they discussed and agreed and he joined the Air Force. He was stationed in Germany and Arizona and after 5-6 years he has left and is now going back to college.
I spent 11 years active duty in the Air Force after college and have worked around military almost my entire adult life. I have tremendous respect for Marines and the high quality of their personnel in every instance I’ve come in contact with them. I would not worry too much about your son if that’s what he wants. This may be a path that will result in great self-discovery and finding great opportunities in the future.
I echo what NoVA Dad says. I spent a decade in the Navy and was around Marines a lot. I think the armed forces provide a wonderful experience for most people, but would caution you that the Marines offer a very special and different type of environment than the other services–I’m not saying it’s better or worse, just different. There are people who would do just fine in the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Coast Guard, but they might not have that certain sort of mentality that the Marines are after.
Thank you to everyone. I am feeling better about things today. In general, I do think a branch of the military would be beneficial for him. Does anyone know a good website where he can compare the different branches to figure out which is the best fit for him if he decides to go this route?
My son is in the army. I totally get your concern. The more I have learned, the better I’ve been able to accept his choice and even come to be very happy for him.
I do second the suggestion that he look into all of the branches to see which one ‘fits’ him best. They are all quite different. He needs to ask LOTS of questions. I wish him well! The profession of arms is a worthy profession.
I was only able to talk to him briefly last night, so I did not have a chance to discuss all of the issues people have suggested like the ADHD and a couple of other physical diagnoses he has had over the years. He wants to be a rifleman and wants to see combat. I know he is upset because he has a lot of debt. I have considered the possibility that this could be a ploy to get me to help with the debt, but I don’t think that is it since he has been talking to recruiters on and off for a long time. Hopefully we can have a longer discussion this weekend.
Tell him that even if he becomes a Marine infantryman, the likelihood he’ll actually see combat is pretty low. Don’t believe all the stuff recruiters tell you. Military life is highly regimented, and mostly consist of endless training, routine administrative work, cleaning up things, and boredom. Only very rarely will you experience something like being in combat or doing dangerous things. That said, those can be the best times of your life and the friends you make will be lifelong ones.
As a service academy graduate with two sons who left college to join the military, one to join the Navy and one to join the Marines, here is my $0.02.
For my son’s everything seems to have worked out. They have learned discipline, self-reliance, time management, and ability to handle pressure. They have also learned a valuable technical skill (both have advanced training in electronics repair.) They also have access to college-level education while in the service and the GI bill for education expenses for themselves or their (future) family. Many military personnel get associates, undergraduate and even master’s degrees while enlisted on active duty.
I suggest your son do his research and consider all the branches including the Coast Guard. He should talk to the recruiters and take the ASVAB to identify the job categories he is eligible to enter, but DON’T SIGN ANYTHING HASTELY. The recruiters are like the admissions staff at college - a great source of information but they have the potential to be one-sided as the sole source of information. The internet has lots of info and it is always good for him to talk to military personnel he knows or at least who are not in the recruiting command.
One last observation. You noted that he texted you after a bad day at his mechanics job and his boss didn’t always treat him great. Marine Corps boot camp is designed to be 12 weeks of continuous bad days with several bosses who have been specially selected and trained not to treat him great. 
Good luck. If he does go down this path I hope he finds it as rewarding as my family has.
Making the Corps by Thomas Ricks is an excellent description of Marine Corps boot camp: http://www.amazon.com/Making-Corps-Anniversary-Afterword-Author/dp/141654450X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443809920&sr=8-1&keywords=making+the+corps
I have worked with young military families for years in a mental health provider capacity, with members from all four major branches. I believe the military provides the structure that allows many people like your son to succeed. While I don’t have statistics to back it up, I would not be surprised if the percentage of enlisted with ADHD is slightly higher in the military compared to the general population. With the guarantee of adequate housing, health care, educational and a whole host of other benefits, your son may thrive. The dangerous parts are real, but it truly is an outstanding opportunity (albeit not perfect) for those who take advantage of all that it has to offer.
Several members of my extended family are current or former Marines. One is a young person whose youth sounds similar in some ways to the OP’s son (ADHD diagnosis, etc.) This young man went to college for one year, dropped out, and informed his father that he had enlisted. It turned out to be a very good thing for him, even though it was very difficult for his parents (he was in Afghanistan and they were worried sick).
He is still in the Marines and he is finishing his undergraduate degree in criminal justice. It has turned out very well for him. He has a strong sense of fairness, order, and purpose, partly developed though his experience with the Marines.
I found about.com had some great write-ups about joining the military. If you have any specific questions turn to google and you might find some other forums.
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/mepsglance.htm
Your son will have to take the ASVAB. You can get a study guide for it similar to the ones for SAT. There is also an ASVAB question of the day app for smart phones.