<p>It is too bad they are showing it to you, and I’d hate to be in your shoes! </p>
<p>With a more positive spin, it could just be a reflection of your family and closeness. Some families are really comfortable wearing their feelings on their sleeves, and maybe they think it would be false or not like themselves to present to you one appearance, but feel another. </p>
<p>Maybe it will help to know that most parents feel this way, even if they don’t show it. It doesn’t mean they don’t want you to go, or that they aren’t also feeling excitement and pride and anticipation, just like you It really is a mix of emotions and you are just noticing the hardest ones! Maybe it will help not to take it to seriously- you aren’t seeing tears that are seen at funerals, its more tears you see at weddings! </p>
<p>They will definitely get over it, and it will become totally normal to them with time, so also focus on that. Maybe right now is harder than even when you are actually away.</p>
<p>And, contrary to what Floridadad says, I want to encourage you to plan to call everyday at first, or dream of working near them or <em>whatever else helps you all through this tough time</em>. Sure things change, and probably will, but it is so much easier to take it in steps. It’s a sign of healthy coping.</p>
<p>JZ, I’m so glad you posted this, It’s a great reminder to us parents that we can stress you out with our torn emotions, Snce we all love our kids dearly (or we wouldn’t be here talking of them ), the last thing we want to do is add to your stress! So I’m going to do my best to be upbeat, happy, smiling and as dry eyed as possible when I launch mine tomorrow. Until I’m out of his sight when I’ll collapse into an emotional heap.</p>
<p>JC, you sound like a great kid! Thanks for being so concerned about your parents…but don’t let it get in the way of your college experience. I agree that most parents feel the same way; they just may not show it in front of their students.
I would suggest that you invite them to visit you about 3 or 4 weeks after you arrive on campus. If there is an organized parents’ weekend at that time, fine, but if there is not or if the parents’ weekend is not until later in the term, invite them to come at that time. It is much better for them to visit you for the day than for you to go home. When they visit, they will see how excited you are to be there, how much you are learning, how you have matured so much in just a few weeks. It will make them feel very proud and so much better!
Good luck and congratulations on going to college!</p>
<p>One other piece of advice: Remember that they (especially your mom perhaps) are on the emotional roller coaster of the first few weeks of freshman year along with you. If you call home and tell them that you are feeling down, they will feel terrible (even though an hour later you went off with a room-mate for a movie and dinner out). If your computer crashes and your room-mate is being a jerk, resist the urge to call them immediately - ask yourself if anyone else on campus has ever had this problem before, and how did they handle it (ie, visit tech support, talk to the RA, etc…) that way, before you go ‘code red’ on your folks, you’ll be able to say that ‘it’s tough, but I’m handling it…’ </p>
<p>The reason for this is that parents sending their firstborn off tend to over-react a bit. They just can’t calibrate how bad or hard something really is - and you may be a bit unsure yourself of how to gauge the seriousness of a situation. An objective third party can help with that. If you unload on your folks and then don’t call them back as soon as it settles down, they won’t sleep until they hear from you again and there will be discussion about whether they should jump in the car to rescue you. Spare them the emotional wringer.</p>
<p>Learned this the hard way…We’re now a lot more laid back when we get an emotional call.</p>
<p>"… this is a bittersweet time in the life of a parent. They have raised you all these years with the goal of launching you off on great adventures of your own, but at the same time, it’s not always easy to let go, especially if you’re a great kid, which you sound like you are. Trust me, your parents are <em>also</em> very proud and excited for you. "</p>
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