mono - how would you handle?

<p>dd is a sophomore architecture student - very serious with some academic scholarships. </p>

<p>Was diagnosed Saturday with mono at campus clinic - she is so sick she is practically incoherent - sore throat with white spots, swollen glands, exhausted beyond belief. </p>

<p>I tried to get her to let me come get her and bring her home for a couple of days - she wouldn't hear of it, says she has group projects, etc., that if she misses right now she'll never get caught up - unable to go to class today (emailed professor to let him know), and is convinced she will be better tomorrow. </p>

<p>I offered to contact advisor or whomever - she won't hear of it - practially hysterical - says she will handle it, but doesn't feel like it today - I think she refuses to believe how sick she will be, and is just sure that tomorrow will be better. </p>

<p>I don't know what to do - how would you handle this? Will the university work with her? </p>

<p>Thanks for any guidance please!</p>

<p>The health center ''should have'' informed her of how serious mono can be and how to take care of herself - and provide documentation to her for her profs for classes missed. Does she really realize that she could end up hospitalized if she does not follow the recommended regime?? </p>

<p>I would certainly get the health center to contact her to tell her exactly how serious this can be and what she really really needs to do. She may just not want to hear 'it' from mom :(</p>

<p>It sounds as tho she doesn't really and truly understand how serious this could turn out - and trying to push thru all this to keep up with her classes. She really needs to know and understand that she needs to take care of herself - or could well be hospitalized for complications - and miss even more school/classe.</p>

<p>If it were me - and mine was that sick - I would be on my way - cuz I know this is not something to fool around with - being as sick as she is right now.</p>

<p>If it is possible go visit asap. There is a wide range of severity of symptoms with mono and it is amazing how sick some people can get. Other people just seem to cruisie through it with just a general tiredness.</p>

<p>I had it in college but was living at home. I was so sick I had to be forced to eat and drink. I was almost hospitalized with a very high fever. I was really sick for about 10 days. So go visit if you can possibly get there,</p>

<p>I know how hard it would be for me to resist going to see her; however, your "D" seems to be very responsible and feels she can handle things on her own -- at least at this point. You have to give her some credit. She took herself to the clinic, she is e/mailing her professors to advise them she will not be in class. She is acting very responsible. If she needs you, I'm sure she will let you know. At this point I would hold off for a day or two to see how things progress.</p>

<p>Really mono can vary. I was miserable for the length of Christmas break, but took all my exams in January (normal schedule) and got the best grades I'd ever had. Dh ended up in the hospital on intravenous because his throat was so sore he couldn't/wouldn't swallow anything. But I think even he finished out the term with just one incomplete.</p>

<p>I am not personally familiar with all of the serious possible complications described by others above, but my D's best friend had mono in h.s. It was not a very severe case, but she was exhausted. The problem was, she would think she was ok, and do too much, and then have to stay home again - a vicious cycle that went on for a while. The end result was some very poor grades that permanently affected her GPA. Although GPA is obviously insignificant when compared to one's health, the point is that she could have stayed home until she was over her illness, received extensions, and avoided attending school when she was so sick and receiving terrible grades. I am not sure how such arrangements would work in college, as opposed to h.s., but it is something to think about.</p>

<p>Thanks for all of the feedback - I did contact student emergency services at her university, and she, too suggested if at all possible, going and getting a look at her - see how sick she really is/determine if another doctor visit is needed, etc. </p>

<p>So, I am off first thing in the morning to see first-hand if I need to be more aggressive - if she needs to go in for IV fluids, etc. </p>

<p>They also told me, like some of you suggested, that what they see so much is the student that tries to keep going, keeps getting sicker, grades suffer, and then they end up missing more school/classes than if they had just taken those days off initially. </p>

<p>So....we'll see what happens - </p>

<p>Thanks again for the input!</p>

<p>S got mono diagnosis 5 days before start of 2nd semester. School health service said: take an extra week off; we'll contact your professors and you should too. That is what S did. The ten days off were needed because he was very sick with high fevers and very sore throat. He just lay in bed, laptop perched on his stomach. When I drove him back a week after classes started he was a bit behind but feeling better. He is caught up in class and still tired out. He's cut back on the partying, he claims.</p>

<p>As someone else said, there seems to quite a spectrum of severity with mono.
However, sometimes the kids just don't realize their options.</p>

<p>My S had mono at exam time last spring. Was very, very sick - same symptoms as you describe for your D - but had not been to the Health Service for diagnosis when he took his first final exam. He was so worried at how hard it was so study with such fatigue and throat pain. After talking with me, he went and tested positive for mono. From me and from Health Services, he realized that he could take incompletes. Get rest, get better and do the work when he was more capable.</p>

<p>By some miracle, he got an A on that Chem final (not his favorite subject either), so sometimes they can do the impossible. But the school definitely worked with him when he realized he didn't have to soldier on. Met with his Dean to get whatever letter he needed to back up his request for incompletes and then emailed his profs. I imagine the system for taking a break from coursework, or taking incompletes, varies with each school. But I would expect them to work with her for sure. He actually had trouble reaching one prof via phone and email. But I told him the secret of The Secretary - ie, departmental secretary often knows all and can do all ;). Via her, he reached the final prof.</p>

<p>Some good news - he came home (1600 miles) a few days earlier than planned. Rested, rested, rested. Ate/drank liquids for a few days until he could handle more. He recovered much more quickly than I expected and without major lingering fatigue after-effects. He had planned to start a summer term about 10 days later. And to my amazement, he was fully fit to fly back and do so. Made up his incompletes during that first week or so back.</p>

<p>Here's hoping your D's bout is similarly mild or moderate.</p>

<p>I sure hope that your d. has a milder course, but as everyone has stated, it varies. She does need to be sure and not push herself. I had mono my 2nd year out of college while working--ended up missing a month of work. I developed mono hepatitis, had lots of pain from the liver enlargement, extremely tired, jaundiced, the works. Other people I know have ended up hospitalized and others have continued to work or go to school with frequent rest periods and did fine. Good luck. Am glad you are going to see her and can determine for yourself what condition she is in.</p>

<p>I hope your daughter feels better soon! I had mono second semester freshman year, and a couple weeks into the torture I got strep too. I'd suggest she gets a thermometer to monitor any fever, and lots of fluids like gatorade and tea (maybe make a big thermos of it at a time so it's easy). I didn't miss any classes, just went to school in a daze for about a month. Did sleep any time I wasn't in class though!</p>

<p>Hopefully she has some roommates that can keep an eye on her. But, every case is different so who knows when she'll be feeling better. The fatigue seemed to last months for me.</p>

<p>2GM: I don't think you are a helicopter mom to help her out with this, if she is feverish and exhausted, she is likely not thinking straight, she needs some advice and to use the resources of the health center to get permissions to deal with classes in the best way to end up with the best grades- whether that is extra time on requirements, an I or something else, I have found the cmapus advisors to be outstanding, they see this stuff all the time and they know what works best- but you need to find some one who cares!</p>

<p>Is she better or worse today? Hopefully the latter! I know kids don't appreciate "pop-ins" by parents, but this is different, and you can probably read her better than anyone. Good luck, and hope she feels better soon!</p>

<p>DD worried about passing out climbing down from her loft bed when she had mono last year. She spiked a fever every night, then got really dehydrated and weak. The best thing she did was take 3 incompletes and come home for a while. Unless it's a really mild case, mono should not be messed with!!!!</p>

<p>Got back last night from checking on my daughter </p>

<p>How is she?</p>

<p>Oops - have tried 3 times, and am having trouble posting - try this again....</p>

<p>Got back last night from checking on my daughter </p>

<p>Got back last night from checking on my daughter – she was a little better when I left than when I got there. “White spots” on tonsils are going away, and sore throat/swollen neck is becoming more bearable – she is able to cut back on the Tylenol/Advil that she has been having to take to even be able to swallow. Fortunately the doctor at UHS had put her on penicillin in case she had strep (it wasn’t, but there was an overgrowth of bacteria on her throat culture). Hopefully that will take care of any opportunistic infection that may try to set in. </p>

<p>What did I accomplish……made sure that she is eating/drinking, and stressed again and again what this can turn into if she doesn’t take care of herself. Told her about complications, and what to watch for – and what warrants a call to mom ASAP. </p>

<p>Also had to absolutely MAKE her contact all of her professors (via email) and let them know what is going on with her – I guess she thought they would think she was “weak” or something. </p>

<p>She was encouraged that all but one replied quickly and told her that her health was the most important thing, etc. There was one professor that didn’t reply, and hasn’t been nice about the whole thing – I made her contact the dean of students at the architecture school and let her know about the mono – if this difficult professor won’t work with her, then I’m thinking the dean of students would be her liaison. </p>

<p>When I spoke with her today, she had slept 16 of the last 24 hours – I’m sure her body needed it. </p>

<p>If she can just make it through one more week, it will be spring break – but this next week will be a long one, with mid-terms and lots of projects due. I fully anticipate driving to get her and bring her home, as I don’t want her driving when she is dealing with this fatigue. </p>

<p>I’m hoping that the most acute phase is nearly over, and the lasting fatigue will be her worst symptom– albeit a bad one. Thanks so much for all of your guidance and advice</p>

<p>Glad to hear the absolute worst part seems to be over with. I hope you both feel better after your visit!</p>

<p>It sounds like she's doing just fine, 2girlsmom. She seems to be handling it well. Five more school days, and you can take care of her yourself.</p>