<p>In theory, yes, I agree with you, calmom, but Stanford is a sure bet for absolutely no one, and it sets the ds up to be in the shadow of dd’s accomplishments, which does not appear to be a good dynamic for that particular family, esp where there is an aura that the dd is the golden girl and the ds (who by all accounts is still an excellent student) just isn’t up to that caliber. (Remember? The yanking-of-the-computer-cord with the dd. Having to be persuaded that a state flagship honors program was indeed something that a parent could be proud of. “It was all over” when the son got a B+ in AP US Hist. Dad II felt good about ds’ 99th-percentile ACT until then he didn’t, and needs to urge him to study more.) </p>
<p>This is a very high pressure cooker situation, focused simultaneously on achieving certain tippy-top schools but also with high pressure to keep the bill as low as possible. The dd - a freshman! - is already being told to look at grad school but only at certain grad schools that have the most prestigious names! In light of the heavy prestige pressure, I just cringe at the idea of having the ds play the same game, and apply to Stanford EA.</p>