@bearpanther thanks for the clarification .
Not sure I get post #119–I said I did not like that she used her sons as examples this way and it does not seem to me that they would have been okay with her publishing the article if she had allowed them to read it first.
@bearpanther: I agree with you. I found the hypocrisy of the Post article amusing and thought you might too.
“I am going to accept that she is going to look at this issue from a perspective that I might not understand as well as she does.”
That’s fair. I’m looking at it as someone who was once the teenage child of an activist who has published a lot of articles on controversial topics. I’m in my forties, and I would not appreciate it if she published this kind of critique of my behavior, calling me “part of the problem” and “against us.” At 16, I can’t even imagine how I would feel. It isn’t a teenager’s job to validate a parent’s journey or be walking proof of her commitment to a cause. That’s a heavy burden to put on a kid.
I am concerned that the piece plays into stereotypes that “the way survivors feel” is that their emotions come before every other consideration, including their children’s humiliation.
I read the article. Did the article mention the sons did not know about the article before it was published?
Ahh well, food for her and her therapist to chew on. She doesn’t mention a “dad” to those boys in this article so I can just imagine what misandry could be uncovered if her stories are unpacked. Definitely a writer on my “avoid” at all costs reading list.
I actually agree with this. But what this situation illustrates is just how devastating the effects of a sexual assault can be on a woman – effects that continue to plague her well into her adult years. In her case it is affecting what is one of the most important relationships in a woman’s life - her relationship with her children. I don’t know what her journey has looked like since her experience, but clearly for her it has been a true obstacle and not one she has yet been able to overcome.
And I think @dstark makes a good point. We have no idea what conversations she might have had with her sons before publishing the article.
@HarvestMoon1 You are correct that we have idea what conversations the author may have had with her sons prior to the publication of the article , but if her level
of disrespect given to her sons throughout the article is any indication, my guess is there was little discussion. Clearly she has some issues that she needs to work on. I’m hesitant to give her a “pass” for her behavior though. Thousands of women have been the victims of sexual assault , and do not treat their children like that.
Has anyone given her a pass @carolinamom2boys?
@HarvestMoon1 I never said anyone gave her a pass , I said that I am hesitant to give her one. At some point, people need to own their issues and decide to work on them or not. It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when people use their history to excuse inappropriate behavior. Many people have had similar , if not worse experiences, but manage to be thoughtful and respectful. IMO.
I am going to giver her a pass until it is proven otherwise I shouldn’t.
You have a good heart @dstark! 
It’s possible to have a good heart and still hold people accountable for their actions. JMO
What actions? Posters are making things up. We don’t know what is going on with this family regarding the article.
Best-case scenario: Let’s say they all talked about it and the kids said OK. I don’t believe a minor child can give effective “permission” for his mom to call him “part of the problem” of rape in the Washington Post. He’s living under her roof, and she’s the only mother he’ll ever have. According to the article, he also knows that his mom is traumatized. We’ve often discussed how teenagers fail to grasp the permanence of internet posts. How can a 16-year-old have responsibility for this kind of decision? The parent has to be the one using good judgment to protect the child’s best interests. Even if it were the 16-year-old’s own idea to call him a rape apologist in the Washington Post, no adult should let him. There is no scenario where the publication of this article is good for the sons.
@Hanna, that is too much of a generalization for me.
I totally agree with you @Hanna . Disrespect is evident throughout that article , that is not made up. @dstark Your Interpretation may be different than others interpretation or opinions , but that does not mean posters are “making things up.”
I agree Hanna…it is way off the charts inappropriate.
If you can come up with a set of facts where this is good for the kids, your imagination exceeds mine.
Looks like one of these two boys is recently suicidal, too.
I’m sorry that I have to say this, but to me it seems like the author is a horrible person and a horrible mother.
Not because her son is suicidal of course, but because she is clearly inflicting her own demons on her sons and because of what she is writing about her own children in a national newspaper. I feel very sorry that her son who is struggling with suicidal thoughts has his own mother calling him out as a sexist participant in the rape culture in the Washington Post. I can only imagine how many of his friends, family, and acquaintances will read this after having already read that he is suicidal.
Best case, her children are imaginary and this is all made up for click-bait.
Otherwise, she should be ashamed of herself.