<p>Out of Exeter, Westminster, Loomis, Taft, Groton, Choate, Middlesex, and St. Pauls, which are the most welcoming and least cliquey schools? I want some insight as to the true atmosphere of these schools, as looks can be deceiving.</p>
<p>I can only speak for Groton and Choate as those are the schools my son attended and my daughter currently attends. My son, who attended Groton is currently a senior in college. We recently spoke about his experience at Groton and he told me it was some of the best days of his life so far. He claims that he appreciated the experience he had at Groton more after he left than while he was enrolled. He describes it as a big extended family where everyone cared about each other. Although I’m sure there were cliques (as there are at any school), he didn’t seem to be involved or care much about that. He made many friends and was included in many groups. One of the things he told me was that he never had to sit alone while eating a meal - whoever was in the dining hall always welcomed him at their table. He wound up discovering a sport he became passionate about after being coaxed to try it by the coach (who was his teacher). He has continued with that sport in college. All in all, Groton was a warm and welcoming place for my son and he thrived despite minor bumps. </p>
<p>My daughter just started 3rd form at Choate so I have less experience there. The admissions office and everyone else involved in the process was extremely welcoming. When I went for my ‘interview’, I could tell that the AO was truly excited about my daughter, and in the 20 minutes they spoke he really was able to figure her out. I was impressed by this. She has been at Choate about 1 month now and is having a very positive experience with the staff (loves her advisor and most of her teachers) and has made many friends. She is having some issues with her roommate but the school and her advisor seem to be doing the best they can to address the situation. </p>
<p>Keep in mind these schools are very different. One has a very small student body (~300) and the other is significantly larger (~800). The campus at Groton is very compact and orderly, with all the buildings situated around a large circle, while the campus at Choate is spread out among blocks, where the kids have to cross streets to get to different parts of the campus. At both schools however. the people were, for the most part, warm, welcoming and seem to genuinely care. It all depends on the right fit for your child. </p>
<p>@Netbang: Every person who posts will tell you that their school is the most welcoming and least clique-y. Who is going to say otherwise? So, I’ll start. Choate is the most welcoming, least clique-y, rigorous prep school. Next. :)</p>
<p>Ah, @Groatemom and I were posting at the same time. See?</p>
<p>For rigor, SAT might be used as an imperfect quantitative indicator of rigor-- it’s the only common bit of data reported by schools, which is a marker for college preparedness.</p>
<p>For rigorous AND welcoming, consider adding Lawrenceville to your list. It ranks high in SAT score, and its House System provides an immediate social bonding framework. </p>
<p>Here is a listing of schools sorted by SAT scores:
<a href=“Sort Boarding Schools by Key Criteria”>http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/school_ranking.php</a></p>
<p>** SAT | SSAT | admit% | #students **
2104 | 90% | 12% | 381 | Groton School
2100 | 94% | 19% | 1085 | Phillips Exeter
2095 | 78% | n/a | 250 | Linden Hall
2095 | 85% | 20% | 816 | The Lawrenceville
2090 | n/a | n/a | 220 | Mount Michael Benedictine
2089 | 82% | 28% | 377 | Concord Academy
2080 | 90% | 24% | 695 | Milton Academy
2076 | 94% | 13% | 1141 | Phillips Academy
2070 | 87% | 18% | 375 | Middlesex School
2060 | n/a | 22% | 409 | The Webb Schools
2050 | n/a | 35% | 150 | The Storm King
2050 | n/a | 52% | 90 | Thomas Jefferson
2028 | 89% | 15% | 542 | St. Paul’s School
2026 | 87% | 13% | 240 | The Thacher School
2025 | 85% | 23% | 865 | Choate Rosemary Hall
2010 | 85% | 52% | 280 | Indian Springs
2000 | 87% | 15% | 630 | Deerfield Academy
1990 | 85% | 17% | 270 | Cate School
1990 | n/a | 43% | 860 | Oregon Episcopal
1985 | 85% | 21% | 598 | The Hotchkiss School
1979 | n/a | 75% | 545 | Mercyhurst Preparatory
1975 | 60% | 23% | 490 | Georgetown Preparatory
1970 | 79% | 27% | 650 | The Loomis Chaffee
1960 | n/a | 49% | 390 | Western Reserve
1950 | 66% | 36% | 346 | Emma Willard School
1940 | 86% | 32% | 359 | St. Mark’s School
1940 | n/a | 35% | 681 | St. Stephen’s Episcopal
1939 | 68% | 38% | 799 | Cranbrook Schools
1938 | 83% | 22% | 598 | The Taft School
1930 | 70% | 28% | 370 | St. George’s School
1928 | 83% | 26% | 300 | St. Andrew’s School,
1926 | 70% | 25% | 390 | Westminster School
1914 | n/a | 60% | 215 | Oak Grove School
1912 | 68% | 48% | 320 | Miss Porter’s School
1910 | n/a | 50% | 307 | Grier School
1910 | 55% | 29% | 415 | Suffield Academy
1902 | n/a | 43% | 300 | The Athenian School
1885 | 58% | 47% | 467 | Dana Hall School
1885 | 80% | 32% | 518 | Hill School
1885 | n/a | 60% | 144 | Southwestern Academy
1880 | n/a | 53% | 150 | Salem Academy
1878 | n/a | 75% | 140 | Ecole d’Humanité
1875 | 52% | 47% | 396 | Woodberry Forest
1866 | 68% | 40% | 732 | Stevenson School
1860 | 60% | 40% | 285 | Asheville School
1857 | n/a | 46% | 300 | The Webb School
1853 | 65% | 39% | 347 | Portsmouth Abbey
1850 | n/a | n/a | 135 | Ekklesia Mountain High
1850 | n/a | 70% | 180 | South Kent School
1850 | n/a | 90% | 15 | Valley International
1847 | n/a | 58% | 192 | Annie Wright Schools
1844 | 85% | 56% | 350 | Woodside Priory School
1840 | 75% | 27% | 450 | Blair Academy
1840 | 65% | 40% | 575 | Saint Andrew’s
1839 | n/a | 76% | 295 | Saint John’s Preparatory
1835 | n/a | 54% | 220 | Saint James School
1832 | n/a | n/a | 450 | Maine Central
1831 | n/a | n/a | 660 | McCallie School
1830 | n/a | 47% | 430 | Mercersburg Academy
1828 | n/a | 65% | 141 | Chatham Hall
1827 | 50% | 35% | 873 | St. Anne’s-Belfield
1826 | n/a | 66% | 244 | Fountain Valley School of
1820 | 55% | 39% | 350 | Canterbury School
1820 | 63% | 36% | 430 | Lake Forest Academy
1810 | 54% | 37% | 305 | Salisbury School
1810 | n/a | n/a | 700 | TASIS The American School in
1810 | n/a | 41% | 124 | The White Mountain
1805 | n/a | 75% | 212 | Maharishi School
1800 | n/a | 70% | 200 | Brandon Hall School
1800 | 65% | 45% | 280 | Holderness School
1800 | 66% | 49% | 206 | Miss Hall’s School
1800 | n/a | 60% | 170 | Sparhawk School
1800 | n/a | 80% | 170 | St. Bernard Preparatory
1800 | 56% | 50% | 1700 | The Bolles School
1800 | n/a | n/a | 465 | TMI -The Episcopal School of
1798 | n/a | n/a | 468 | St. Mary’s School
1792 | n/a | n/a | 246 | Santa Catalina
1790 | 55% | 50% | 298 | Garrison Forest
1790 | 61% | 33% | 460 | The Williston Northampton
1790 | n/a | 62% | 250 | Villanova Preparatory
1787 | n/a | n/a | 183 | San Domenico School
1786 | 62% | 39% | 360 | Pomfret School
1782 | 76% | 53% | 451 | Wyoming Seminary Upper
1781 | n/a | 40% | 332 | The Stony Brook
1770 | n/a | 50% | 455 | Wilbraham & Monson
1760 | n/a | 62% | 470 | Foxcroft Academy
1757 | n/a | n/a | 271 | Delphian School
1755 | n/a | 68% | 553 | Sandy Spring Friends
1752 | 63% | 75% | 165 | Colorado Rocky Mountain
1751 | n/a | 50% | 425 | Tallulah Falls
1750 | n/a | 85% | 120 | Massanutten Military
1750 | 50% | 75% | 630 | Ridley College
1750 | n/a | 48% | 645 | Worcester Academy
1747 | 60% | 50% | 206 | Westover School
1740 | n/a | 80% | 204 | Buffalo Seminary
1740 | n/a | n/a | 420 | The Linsly School
1738 | n/a | n/a | 350 | Ben Lippen School
1738 | 50% | n/a | 288 | The Gunnery
1732 | 50% | 45% | 401 | Lawrence Academy
1725 | n/a | n/a | 219 | The Putney School
1725 | n/a | n/a | 1410 | The Village School
1724 | 65% | 66% | 258 | The Ethel Walker
1720 | n/a | 68% | 310 | Cotter Schools
1720 | n/a | 80% | 300 | Stuart Hall School
1720 | n/a | n/a | 255 | The MacDuffie School
1712 | n/a | 65% | 46 | Scattergood Friends
1711 | n/a | n/a | 235 | Solebury School
1710 | n/a | 75% | 105 | The Orme School
1710 | 50% | 60% | 300 | Trinity-Pawling
1707 | n/a | n/a | 40 | Steamboat Mountain
1705 | 60% | 48% | 409 | Avon Old Farms
1700 | n/a | 65% | 195 | Blue Ridge School
1700 | 80% | 70% | 120 | Verde Valley School
1700 | n/a | 49% | 230 | Virginia Episcopal
1697 | 80% | 60% | 85 | Midland School
1695 | n/a | 38% | 485 | The Pennington
1694 | n/a | n/a | 1400 | North Broward Preparatory
1693 | n/a | n/a | 210 | Hillcrest Academy
1693 | n/a | 65% | 199 | Subiaco Academy
1691 | 45% | 69% | 405 | Rabun Gap-Nacoochee
1686 | n/a | 80% | 540 | The Brook Hill
1685 | n/a | 45% | 215 | Dunn School
1680 | n/a | 61% | 185 | Wayland Academy
1670 | 50% | 33% | 190 | Church Farm School
1670 | n/a | 55% | 173 | Northwood School
1669 | n/a | n/a | 670 | Justin-Siena High
1668 | n/a | 45% | 1060 | Monte Vista Christian
1665 | n/a | 65% | 295 | Erie First Christian
1661 | n/a | 75% | 385 | Cheshire Academy
1660 | n/a | 65% | 324 | Kimball Union
1660 | 54% | 50% | 360 | Proctor Academy
1660 | 50% | 68% | 232 | Vermont Academy
1650 | n/a | 80% | 100 | Squaw Valley Academy
1641 | n/a | 45% | 140 | The Knox School
1640 | n/a | 83% | 410 | Admiral Farragut
1635 | n/a | 35% | 335 | The Perkiomen School
1629 | n/a | 65% | 202 | Christchurch School
1628 | 65% | 42% | 600 | Hawai’i Preparatory
1623 | n/a | n/a | 1100 | Rancho Solano Preparatory
1620 | n/a | 60% | 250 | The Winchendon
1619 | n/a | n/a | 1200 | Windermere Preparatory
1615 | n/a | n/a | 146 | Oakwood Friends
1608 | n/a | 65% | 150 | Hyde School - Bath,
1608 | n/a | 65% | 175 | Hyde School - Woodstock,
1600 | 50% | 56% | 121 | Hoosac School</p>
<p>I agree with ChoatieMom! LOL</p>
<p>Maybe you can find an octo-family with 8 kids, one at each of these schools. 
Alternatively, here’s one family’s limited experience from interviewing and some revisits. Not sure I can weigh in on the cliquey but on the welcoming, here is ours:</p>
<p>Middlesex - very welcoming
St. Paul’s - very welcoming
Westminster - very welcoming
Groton - somewhat welcoming
Exeter - not welcoming</p>
<p>Loomis - no exposure
Taft - no exposure
Choate - no exposure</p>
<p>Here is ours based on interviews and tours, Just to show that “fit” factor is personal and individual:</p>
<p>Very welcoming - Exeter, Taft, Choate
Not so much - St. Paul’s </p>
<p>No exposure to Middlesex, Westminster, Groton, Loomis</p>
<p>I know graduates who were very happy at Middlesex, Loomis, Exeter.</p>
<p>Don’t qualify as an octomom but I have had kids in a couple of schools. We are quite happy with both schools but when it it comes to balancing rigor with community, the nod has to go to Hotchkiss. While my younger daughter’s school has a strong sense of community among the students, what I love about Hotchkiss is how completely that sense of community extends well beyond the student/student community. It is evident in an exceptionally strong student/faculty community–perhaps so strong because in the wilds of western Connecticut, there are so few opportunities for faculty to have much of a life beyond the school’s boundaries . </p>
<p>I have also very much appreciated the extent to which Hotchkiss includes parents as members of “the team.” This is evident in the excellent lines of communication that are maintained between parents and the school. The advisors we have encountered over the years see their job in terms as one that involves conferring with parents rather than reporting to them. I even appreciate the lengths the school has gone in using technology to keep parents involved, from webcast on “how to parent from afar” to the videotaping of campus events (meetings with representatives from colleges, for example) so that parents who cannot make it to campus can still take part in these opportunities.</p>
<p>Mentioned the above post to my daughter who graduated from Hotchkiss last year. She said, “But mom, you forgot one of the important communities, the one between staff and students. That is really strong as well.”</p>