<p>I don’t think anybody said DICTATED by birth order. I think it might be partly ASSOCIATED with birth order; maybe not even a causal relationship. I detest the word “lazy” because it seems so judgemental, but more importantly, unchangeble. When I think unmotivated I think you can always do a little to tweak the external motivation. I like to believe finding the RIGHT thing to “tweak” is key. To develop a behavior, the reward must balance the effort. Parents can give mild reinforcers for things that come easy to their kid but need stronger ones where things are much less likely to happen on their own. In my house, a little support for any sport is all it takes to keep my son going. For my D, the same is true for academics. The opposite would never work .For both, their friends make the most difference. D is friends with the top students. S with the top athletes. The peers motivate WAY more than I EVER could.</p>