<p>I know there is already a thread going about whether parents should accompany their children on move-in day. We have already made that decision and will definitely be going with our daughter. Now we're trying to decide whether to take the two younger siblings (15 & 11). It will be the Labor Day weekend and we can stay in a hotel for 2-3 nights and make it a bit of a final family vacation. My daughter's college is in a major city with lots to do annd see. Or do you think we should find a babysitter and spend time with our freshman daughter without any distractions from the other kids. (One more piece of information: The kids are all close and get along well.)</p>
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It will be the Labor Day weekend and we can stay in a hotel for 2-3 nights and make it a bit of a final family vacation. My daughter's college is in a major city with lots to do annd see. Or do you think we should find a babysitter and spend time with our freshman daughter without any distractions from the other kids. (One more piece of information: The kids are all close and get along well.)
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<p>I vote for bringing the kids along--extra hands can be very helpful during move-in, because often you have only a short window of time where you are allowed to have your car near the dorm for unloading. The kids can help their big sister carry some stuff up the stairs while one parent watches the remaining stuff piled by the dorm entrance and another parent drives the car away to longer-term parking.</p>
<p>In my experience, the new freshman doesn't want her parents hanging around and hovering all that much during her first weekend at college anyway. I'd suggest helping her move in her stuff, maybe taking her out to a nice meal at some point (especially if dining hall isn't open immediately), and spending most of the time enjoying the city with your younger kids. Give her time to get to know her roommate(s) and hallmates, time to work out room arrangement setup independently with her roommate without parental interference, etc. Before it's time for your family to leave, stop by her dorm room again to say goodbye and admire the progress they've made on unpacking, setting up, etc., and maybe offer to take her (and possibly roommate) out for one more last family meal.</p>
<p>But freshman movein weekend is packed with so many opportunities to meet classmates and make new friends that it's unlikely to give you a lot of relaxed quality time with your daughter "without any distractions," in any event.</p>
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<p>If they're close, I think it's especially nice for them to help out with the carrying all the stuff in process and for them to get to see where their sister will be living and learning for the next year.</p>
<p>They're going to miss her and it will be an adjustment for them as well--helping out with move-in can help them too!</p>
<p>Agreed "spending time with freshman daughter without any distractions" is probably not high on freshman daughter's priority list :rolleyes:. It could also prevent her from the fully participating in the initial bonding process that takes place during Orientation days among the freshmen themselves.</p>
<p>Having the kids there allows them to picture big sis/bro in the new environment, will probably help them feel less bereft when they are back home, and could be a great ice-breaker for your D to meet her dorm mates.</p>
<p>Have fun!</p>
<p>I think it depends on ages of kids( younger sister was 11)
my daughters were very close- and since we were driving down we could fit more stuff in the car if sis didn't go.
The personalities matter- it was better in our case, for them to say their goodbyes in town, and then for younger sis to go off to camp and be picked up by friends.
This gave us time to focus on our oldest, and also to be able for my H and I to be able to have some time to reflect and be with each other, rather than be in charge of kids the whole time.
Counting the things that were forgotten, the standing in line, and the things that were for parents but would have bored sister silly, I am glad we didn't bring sib to move in day.
However we did go for parents day just a couple months later, so she could see sis and her friends. The oldest also came up back home for fall break before that</p>
<p>All for one and one for all here. We brought everybody both times and it worked out very well. </p>
<p>When we dropped off #1, we were only 2 hours from home and all went together. When we brought #2 to school, 1500 miles from home, we went a week early and made it our family vacation. We didn't all fit in the rental SUV with all the dorm stuff on move-in day, so H and I helped move the stuff in while #1&3 stayed at the hotel. We then went back a little bit later to get them. The one being dropped off always loved showing the other 2 around his new campus and they loved seeing where he would live.</p>
<p>I don't think there is any right or wrong answer. Just do what seems most natural for YOUR family. Good luck.</p>
<p>When we moved S1 in last fall, S2(age 15 at the time) had no interest in going. I will say that S1's school is less than 3 hours from home so it was no problem leaving S2 to his own devices for a day. Even so, I was really glad we didn't insist S2 come along. Moving in was sort of chaotic but there was plenty of hands to help since there were campus volunteers standing by the door of our truck ready to help as soon as we pulled in (that was awesome).<br>
When we got to his room, S's roommate ( a friend from h.s.) and his parents and older sis (who attends same school) were there and move in was in full swing. With 5 adult sized people trying to squeeze in and out of that tiny room (getting the beds lofted was a major job), there would have truly been no room for S2 and he would have been bored to death. </p>
<p>When move-in was complete, we went out to dinner with roommate and family and then back to the dorm to drop S off. He was so eager to get going that he gave us each a hug as we stood by the truck
(no invite back up to the room) and with a wave and a grin trotted off down the sidewalk with his cell phone glued to his ear (already making plans for the night with another hometown friend). </p>
<p>Like emeraldkity4, I was glad to have that time on the ride home with just H to look back on S1's childhood years and yes, shed a tear or two without a back seat audience.</p>
<p>Wow that seems like so long ago- the ride home LOL
We had a mini van at the time with a moon roof that didn't quite close all teh way. It poured on teh way home and evertime we went around a corner I wondered what way the water would go- I actually had to put my rain coat on.
D had a single room- so that went well- but just the overall stress level was high . SHe was nervous and intimated by the reputation of the school, and was on teh verge of tears.
I was stressed, because I would have loved to have gone to college- especially someplace as picture perfect as Reed, so while I think I pretty much bit my tongue, one I got back to the hotel room I biotched quite a bit I am sure :0
Also our family dynamic is a little different than some- our girls are 8 years apart, and while we really enjoyed the first 8 years with D, the 2nd D kept us so busy, that the older one didn't get as much attention as she deserved- so it was nice to have her to ourselves again.</p>
<p>I guess you can tell from my post #3 that I'm the one with an only child :). I defer to EK4, PackMom, my3 and others who actually know what they're talking about.</p>
<p>I do think planning to spend lots of time with the Freshman alone might be a little off base, though.</p>
<p>If it feels right for your family, do it! When we took our S to school his then 13-year-old sister said there was no way we were going without her (she adores her brother). She was mildly helpful moving in, but she brought a book and sat in the corner reading, so she didn't get in the way. She did have another function, though--S lived in a co-ed dorm, so we sent her out to scout out the rooms with girls on the floor, and she was instructed if she saw some really cute girls, she should go in, introduce herself and tell the girls they should come meet her brother. This is a child who had no problem doing such a thing, and that's how S met some of his first new neighbors!</p>
<p>One thing you might think of doing with the 14 year old sib (if the sib is a female)--let her spend a weekend at college with her older sis sometime. My older D hosted her 14 year old sister for an overnight stay at her dorm room--and it is a cherished memory of both girls (and the roommates).</p>
<p>What does your college bound kid think? It probably should be left up to her.</p>
<p>my youngest was 11 when her sister began at Reed- now when she graduated she is 16!
She went down with friends to stay with sis- I stayed in a hotel ;)
She even has gone down on the train with friends and friends of her sister picked her up.
She became so comfortable with the campus and with her sisters friends, that we went down last year when several of them graduated.</p>
<p>my little sister was 12 when i first moved in and she came with every year. she always helped carry a few things, mostly liked to complain about being forced to carry things, etc. She's getting ready to go to college soon too, so i'm sure i'll be more than happy to complain about helping her move in :)</p>
<p>When d1 moved in freshman year, the whole family went along, though it wasn't much of a vacation. The younger sibs stayed in the hotel during move-in, so they weren't even extra helping hands. In retrospect, I'd do it again, but with different expectations. I should have done what wisteria suggested above and planned the fun stuff for after saying goodbye to d1. She was impatient to get on with the next phase of her life and not all that interested in roller coasters or Colonial Williamsburg. There was lots of grumpiness on all sides.</p>
<p>I'm glad I brought the younger two along if for no other reason than the expressions on their faces as I hugged d1 goodbye - they were waiting for me to explode in an embarrassing public display of weeping and wailing (I disappointed them) and looked at me as I'd been rigged with C4. They couldn't quite believe that I could restrain myself until I got to the car.</p>
<p>No. Don't. I was the younger sibling--16 when my sister first left for college--and it was not worth it. A six hour car ride up, two days up there, and a six hour car ride back during my last week of summer break meant that I was not happy about it. The fact that my four-member family and my sister's roommate's three-member family had to fit into a very small dorm room to move in meant that everyone was frustrated even without the heat and humidity. Trying to calm down my anxious sister was hard enough for my parents without having to deal with me. </p>
<p>I begged my parents not to make me go move my sister in. They refused. Since then, my mother has told every one of her friends that it's not worth it to bring their younger children because of the lack of space, the older sib's anxiety, and the younger sib's boredom and frustration. And her friends who have brought their younger children to college move-ins have found the same thing. </p>
<p>I think it's very important for the younger sibs to see what colleges are like, especially if they'll be going off to college a few years later. However, move-in isn't a good representation of college life. I agree with ellemenope--consider having younger sibs stay with college-aged ones later on. It's much more representative of what goes on on a college campus, and it's a less stressful time--and college students are often excited to have their siblings come and stay (I know that my sister was when I visited later on, and all of my friends at college were thrilled when their siblings came). A lot of schools also have weekends when they encourage younger siblings to stay over.</p>
<p>We did this once and it was great for the younger ones to see the college and be included.The only problem was that if you are planning this via car room for everything will be at a minimum. For one thing it is very sensible and practical to buy many items your college daughter will need in her college town after you arrive and see what exactly she thinks she will need. It also adds another family outing- going to the local stores for sheets, blankets and storage containers, etc. Then again you can't catch the sales for these items but my college age daughter truly enjoyed her shopping spree.( general overall cost was @ $300) It was for us really a fine thing having the younger ones there, enjoying their comments and enthusiasm.</p>