Moving in with my parents

<p>I've been living on my own for almost three years now, and I've been doing pretty well. Both my room mates are succeeding in their careers while I am stuck at a job that has no potential for growth. While I know I can get another job where I'll have the possibility to move up, I don't want to keep repeating the same routine I've been in for the past six years.</p>

<p>The one thing that always sticks out in my mind is the fact that I haven't gone to college and I want to change my future. I don't want to work in retail or an office job for the rest of my life, and even if I did manage to work my way up, it wouldn't be in the field that I want unless I earned my degree.</p>

<p>Ultimately, I want to go back to school, but I don't want to take any less than 12 hours. I've read on forums, as well as this one, that full time work and school can be quite stressful. Rather than pushing myself into something that might snowball, I want to choose the logical decision which would be moving back in with my parents, work a part time job, and attend school full time.</p>

<p>Here in lies the my personal defeat -- I would have to change my life situation. My room mates want to move to a different city next year and have invited me with them. If I started school, I'd have to stay in my home town. I'd also be taking out a lot of student loans that could potentially back fire if I decide (for some unimaginable, ridiculous reason) not to stay in school. I'd be a little down about moving back in with my parents, but one of my friends told me, "I don't see school as a waste of time".</p>

<p>Anyway, I'm mainly here to vent, but I want to know if anyone else has had to deal with a situation specific to mine. I know no one can make the decision for me, although it would be nice to hear opinions from others.</p>

<p>Not my situation, but one of my co-workers boyfriend (who is in his late 20’s/early 30’s) is going through this. He got into an Ivy league and dropped out because of reasons. He found a FT job. He moved up to a management position at the lowest level and has been there for almost ~4 years at this point. He used to be the boss of certain people who have now become HIS boss because they have a degree. He plans to go back to school but hasn’t yet. He doesn’t really wanna move in with his parents.</p>

<p>My coworker, now in mid-20’s, dropped out of college at age 19, after her first year. She is in an entry-level position and cannot move up at all because she has no level of higher education and is very young. No work experience besides this entry-level job. She has recently (and I am soooo proud of her!) moved back in with her mom and now works FT (because her mom isn’t that financially well-off, so she needs the money) and goes to school PT. She’s just happy she made the move to get back to school after talking about it for 2 years.</p>

<p>I think if you want to move up in an industry that needs a degree, I definitely agree that school is not a waste of time. At all. It takes a lot of willpower to go back to school, and I applaud you for doing so!!! I don’t think moving back with your parents is anything to be ashamed of! If anything, statistics show that these recent years have the most amount of adults living with parents, so you are 100% definitely NOT alone.</p>

<p>One advice from a student who works FT hours and attend school FT (if you choose to go this route): take the minimum amount of credits, take online classes if you can, MANAGE YOUR TIME WISELY, and ratemyprof.com your teachers! This last method has helped me so much because I find the easiest professors who assign the least amount of work for general requirement classes. Instead of spending 3 hours on homework, I can spend 0-1 hour because I have an easy professor. Haha.</p>

<p>Again, I applaud you!! Good luck!</p>

<p>No knowledge is wasted. Go back to school. But I’m not sure about the moving in with your parents.</p>

<p>I am intrigued by your post about your roommates wanting to move to another city. Would there be more opportunities for you in that new city? Is there a good community college in that city that would allow you to inexpensively start working on your college classes, and that would transfer to a full university?</p>

<p>Perhaps your inability to move on in your career is hindered by your location. </p>

<p>I’m in a city where there are limited opportunities for middle class people, and we have a LOT of very smart kids living with their parents in their fifties. Sometimes, putting yourself in these situations will stagnate you. Your parents get old and depend on you, and you never get out of a no win situation staying in the community you’re in.</p>

<p>Although I think education is important, you have to look at the big picture and explore the different opportunities available to you.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>To dip your toe back into the academic pool why don’t you take a math or English course at the local cc now while still working full time?
You may find that you are not ready to go back to studying, worrying about tests and fitting school into your life.
You have to begin somewhere- obtaining your hs transcript, taking math, English placement tests.
Better than just thinking about school and waiting.</p>

<p>Many non-traditional students (those not between 18-22) work full time and take courses part time in the evenings to complete a degree. Check your community college courses of study. You may find a two year course of study that you can complete in the evenings while continuing to work. Some two year degrees lead to decent job prospects as well. Some colleges also offer Saturday classes.</p>

<p>Bravo to you! Do the logical thing, not what roommates want. Since you have been self supporting and responsible I’ll bet you will be able to live with your parents successfully. You won’t have the distractions of roommates’ working lifestyles- partying when you need to study et al. Did any of the roommates finish college? If not they won’t understand what you are going through.</p>

<p>Now is the time to do college- before you have a spouse and kids to compete with your time. Motivation to do well will help you, you have gained maturity through working and know the consequences of your future without further education. There are pros and cons to starting slowly and ramping up. It can be harder to study when you have a small load plus a lot of distracting work time. Plunging into school as a full time job with part time work fitting your class schedule instead of choosing classes to fit your work schedule may be easier.</p>

<p>Before you start have some concrete goals. You may change your major along the way but do have one in mind. Have a general plan for your 4 or more years. Do take advantage of interest/aptitude testing available (likely for free or low cost) through your local community or university college center. This may help you figuring out which fields fit you- are you similar to people in those fields essentially. Some surprises may occur and give you ideas.</p>

<p>Definitely discuss with your parents. Household rules and responsibilities. Financial issues- do they expect payment now for room and board, or in the future? Remember they may both be working and your presence should not be a burden to them. Extra food, cleaning, cooking, utility bills…</p>

<p>The move to another city is a good time to separate from your friends. There is no guarantee you will find your career in that city, you may as well use this as the push you need to go to school. Sounds like you want our support to stay and go to college when your friends tell you to go with them- you have it. Your friends won’t be around to distract you. If you drift apart so be it. You need to look after yourself, not them.</p>

<p>I can only speak to the going to school and working full-time part of your question. It’s rough. I already had a bachelor’s degree so I did have a decent-paying job and was able to afford rent and living expenses, but I found it a challenge to work 40 hours a week and then go to grad school, even though I only took 2 courses at a time. It’s certainly doable, but you have to be prepared to have very little free time until you finish your degree. But you should get a degree!</p>

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<p>And moving back with your parents is NOT stressful? LOL!</p>

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<p>What field. Let’s get specific. </p>

<p>Ultimately, you have to work full-time, live on your own, go to school part-time. That’s how it’s done.</p>

<p>Don’t go into debt if you can help it.</p>

<p>If you prefer to move with your roommates, do it.</p>

<p>There is no shame in living with your parents: 82% of college grads moved back home, according to one study.</p>

<p>Without knowing anything about your relationship with your parents, or what your actual preference is (moving home versus with your roommates) I cannot answer you at all.</p>

<p>There are many ways to go to school. You can do it anywhere. Online, on campus (evening/cointinuing ed or daytime), “low residency” (Lesley for instance), and yes, community college or state college can save some money.</p>

<p>There are also many ways to get jobs. Interning helps a lot.</p>

<p>I think it is too bad that employers want the degree so often, but there it is.</p>

<p>So I don’t think there is a clear way here: it depends on a lot of things you aren’t telling us.</p>

<p>What kind of work/degree do you intend to get? You mentioned you don’t want to be in retail (which makes sense) OR an office…care to illuminate?</p>

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<p>The city is relatively small compared to where I’m living. My chances of advancing might be higher if I stay where I’m at. Moving would mean finding another job I’m not that happy with, while going to school part time, which is something else I want to avoid. I don’t want to drag out the time I spend getting my degree.</p>

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<p>I haven’t discussed paying rent while staying with my parents, but I did mention the thought of moving back in. If I were to decide to go back to school, I would lay the whole spectrum out for them, that way they can lay down rules if they decide to invite me back home.</p>

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<p>For now, I’m going between English or Psychology. I think anyone’s decision to work full time and go to school part time (or full time) is a decision all there own. I’m trying to avoid taking more than four years to get my degree.</p>

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<p>In a perfect world, I’d love to move with my room mates, work part time and go to school full time, but living on my own creates too many bills. I wouldn’t be thrilled about moving back in with my parents, but if it would help me enough to attend school full time, it’s an option I’m willing to keep open.</p>

<p>Compmom, what is low residency?</p>

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<p>What else would you like to know?</p>

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<p>If okay, tell us about your sense that moving home is a “personal defeat”.</p>

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<p>How can you be sure that you won’t be happy with a job after you move?</p>

<p>What do you hope to do after college?</p>

<p>Low residency programs have you attend in an intense manner for 5-10 days, twice/year and then work independently under the guidance of a faculty member. Goddard, Lesley and Union Institute (the latter now has a program with one weekend/month). You can google them. Goddard and Union are more “alternative” feeling than Lesley, and the adult learner program at Lesley is just one part of the university, and low residency is just one part of adult learner programs, whereas, at Goddard, everyone does low residency.</p>

<p>Also, Lesley is well-regarded in the psychology field. They now have a fully online BA in psychology that you can do from anywhere.</p>

<p>These types of programs aren’t for everyone but might be helpful for someone in your position.</p>

<p>D moved in and out and in and out and now is in her 2nd yr of medical school. I think we all had some fun with this but she was just a bit messy. Now she is asking to come back for a month and we addressed the “messy”. But if you have a nice relationship with your parents then it is actually fun for them and so do not come down on yourself.</p>

<p>Ratemyprofessor.com tells you half the story. The other half is to find out what the course grade is based upon. A Math class where 90% of grade is tests is different than the same Math class where 60% is tests (and 30% is more online homeworks than you can imagine, but still doable…)</p>

<p>Talk to your parents and see whether moving in with them to save money while going to college would work.</p>

<p>They might be very glad that you have decided to go to college. They probably know that a lack of a college degree can hurt people’s careers – which is what’s happening to you – and they may be delighted that you’re doing something about the situation.</p>

<p>They also might enjoy having you around. </p>

<p>On the other hand, you might find out that it’s not a good idea. For example, they might be considering moving to a smaller place where there wouldn’t be room for you or a different community where there wouldn’t be a college. Or they might feel it’s not appropriate for a grown child to move back in with them, even for just a few years. </p>

<p>You won’t know until you talk to them.</p>

<p>My brother went in the Army after high school. When he got out, he went and lived with my parents who had moved to a different state than where we grew up, and started college in their town. He worked part time all through college. After his first year, he became an RA and lived in the dorms because he didn’t really want to keep living at home - that might be an option for you too. I think being a bit older and more mature helped him in that role.</p>