Starting the process of researching/visiting schools. Beginning create SSAT account, and then the Standard Application, to set up tours. Applying to boarding schools diverges greatly from what everyone we know does, and it is really uncommon for our region of the U.S. Yet, our family feels (son included) that this would be a great fit for him. Because we don’t know other parents going through this process, I don’t have a social circle to turn to for support. Any answers from this community are very much appreciated.I’ve been lurking, using this board to narrow down potential schools - this is my first post
We don’t know what to mark for my son’s race. My husband is North African (an immigrant). He doesn’t look Black (African American), but he most certainly does not look white. I am white. Do we mark multi-racial, or white? I feel multi-racial is a better descriptor of our kid, but idk what is correct and/or expected.
Define “North African.” If you mean Arab from Egypt, Libya, Morocco, etc., then that is not what is meant by African-American. If your husband identifies as black, then multi-racial would describe your child,regardless of appearance.
Husband is non-Arab, does not identify as Black. He is Berber (native people of N. Africa). We know he is not African-American (although it is funny, he is from the continent of Africa and has been for some time an American) but we totally know he is not African American. It is just, he is not white, either. I am white. Does the fact our son is half white, half non-white make our son multiracial (according to the application)?
As a European, IMO, African-American is simply the American’s over-PC way of saying black. Back home, we don’t use such trite terms. Regardless, for admissions, AA=Black, and no AO is going to debate semantics that, as an example, South Africa is a country on the African continent and therefore white descendants who are US citizens are African-Americans.
So to answer your question, you are Caucasoid. Your husband, as a Berber, is Caucasoid, Therefore, your son is Caucasoid. Not all Caucasoids are lily-white. Not all Negroids are jet-black. But the question is asking about race, not skin tone. I don’t remember the exact question on boarding school applications, but the college Common App question drills down the Causasian response to further define the geographic origin of the person’s race.
Now the reality is that most of us are mixed somewhere along the line, as often comes out in DNA testing. But I also don’t advocate identifying one’s race based on a DNA test, but that’s another question entirely.
According to most “race” designations, the native peoples of the Middle East and North Africa are considered White. So your husband will likely be considered White, as will your son.
Regardless of what you check, you, your spouse, and your son will all get to visit schools and meet with admissions staff. If your son feels this is an important part of who he is, he can include it in his essays.
Multi-racial means mixed race. A group of George School students did an interesting video about this topic about a year or two ago, and all spoke of the frustration of being asked “what they really were”, how they had siblings who looked different than they did, etc. I would hope that schools are sensitive to what this question raises for some kids.
Oh, Wolf, I thank for the nudge that Middle East, North Africa is “White” on race designations. I think I confused your reply and GardenStateGal’s (sorry about that). But thanks again, I appreciate it.
I think will mark “Other” or “Prefer Not to Specify.”
Thank you also Garden state Gal for the insight about how being asked “what you really are” is not so simple for many. You are right about siblings. Our daughter, I think, looks more “foreign” than son, and that has led to awkward situations. In terms of husband, when I taught in an African-American school, my students always asked if my husband was “half” when they met him. I have never met a Black American that did not think my husband was part of their community when they first meet (but white people usually do not think he is African-American, just “something” [that is not white]). Mexican-American people have tried to speak Spanish to him too many times to count. And we have even had twice Japanese-American people think he is part Japanese! But no one has ever thought he was white, for sure.
We find that husband being pigeonholed into the “white” category (on many forms) is annoying (and inaccurate!). He does not look at all white, and he is very rarely, when in exclusively white, and/or upper socio-economic circumstances, treated as white. He very often is treated as a bit as an outsider in those circumstances (no judging, he just does look different, people can tell he is “not one of them” when they first meet). People are usually nice (but not always). For example, if husband is in a really white setting (like a golf course), there is almost always a little joke about his potential origins, or he is called a terrorist, and/or something later is said that assumes he has or does not have certain life experiences (based on race), and uncomfortably people have many times even joked about his hair texture.
Husband has a great sense of humor & is very easy-going, so it does not anger him, it’s just obvious that though the government calls him “white” nobody else ever would.
If your husband is a Berber and Berber’s are considered Caucasian, I don’t really understand how the forms that classify him as a Caucasian are wrong. You can choose multicultural on the application and mark “other” or “prefer not to specify,” but I don’t think it will improve your son’s chances anywhere. I’ve read articles by adcoms who stated that they look for things in the app that reflect the applicant’s cultural heritage, so just checking a box may not mean much.
This isn’t about your husband but rather how your kids identify themselves. I wouldn’t make a big deal of this question, but if it does offend you or vex you, leave it blank. Really, it’s not anyone’s business.
Thank you for all your thoughtful replies. @ ChoatieMom: LOL! It’s not a specific golf course, just when he gets paired up with white guys he doesn’t know, if he is picking up a game (I’m not a golfer, but I think that is how you describe it when you join a group as the 4th guy)
@WorkingMan: I agree with you, it is not about my husband. but how my son sees himself. And I think he is still figuring that out, as a barely 13 year old kid. The race question on forms doesn’t offend me. It is just weird there is not a better category breakdown. Like, there are 4 ways a Latino person can identify on the Standard App, but there is kind of nothing for anyone North African (or Arab, which my guy is not). I mean, I don’t think anyone in the U.S. thinks a brown-skinned Arab man or woman is really "white: in how they are treated, nor in life experiences, nor in self-identity. The categories have not totally caught up with the way things are.
Questions of race always interest me in how people see themselves as well as how people see others and finally how people believe others see them. Often, it’s fraught with lots of issues as noted above. I personally would not consider someone who is Berber or from a host of other North African places/cultures to be anything but Caucasian.
Nor are they likely to ever do so. The purpose of asking race on applications is to identify individuals from broadly underrepresented groups, not to accurately establish the ancestry of applicants. I’ve never had the opportunity to check an Irish American box on an application, and I likely never will. We’re just Caucasians - adequately or over represented, regardless of our exact origins. Asians are similarly lumped together today, despite incredible diversity within that single box on applications.
