<p>Due to it being so personal, I kindly ask that you let me PM it to you, as opposed to posting it. Let me know if you would be interested in reading it, giving me your reaction, and giving me advice on how to improve it/what to edit/etc. </p>
<p>All I ask for is your honesty. Thank you very much.</p>
<p>I’ll read it</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC</p>
<p>Sent it :-)</p>
<p>Thus far, I have only received one PM. I am going to post the actual essay, in hopes that I will get more responses. Be as honest as possible. What should I add? Or omit? Is there too much of one thing, not enough of another? I look forward to reading all of your responses, and I thank you for taking the time to read them. I put UNIVERSITY and “John Smith” because I do not want to disclose my identity. :-)</p>
<p>"First, I want to thank you sincerely for your additional time reading this letter and potentially reviewing my application to the UNIVERSITY. The statement: You have made a mistake is one Im sure a plethora of students have shared with UNIVERSITYs admission department over the last few weeks, hoping to diminish your establishment. For me, UNIVERSITY will always be held in the highest regard as far as world-class institutions go. It is in this great reverence for the university that I write this candid letter.</p>
<p>When a high-pedigree college like UNIVERSITY is inundated with qualified applicants wanting to go there, an admission officer can have a hard time making decisions. Truthfully, I do not believe UNIVERSITY has necessarily made a mistake in its selection, for how can a school review a myriad of brilliant individuals and select a class size thin in comparison to the number of students equipped with the compulsion to attend. Yes, this letter is being written as an appeal for my admissions decision for the Fall of 2013, but additionally, its about giving my dream school one more shot. With your upcoming decision in mind, which I know is statistically against my desired response, I must write this letter. </p>
<p>My dream to attend UNIVERSITY is a shared, ubiquitous one. A great many people would love for this dream to materialize. Hearing friends tell tales of UNIVERSITY, the school retains a sort of mythic quality. Microcosmically, I share this dream with my father, who is getting older, and with that his health has debilitated. A few days ago, he dropped the bomb that he might not live too much longer. We were never too close, but are tied with our love of film. How Ridley Scott framed and lit his shots in Alien is an easy conversation for us to have. Throughout the years Ive tried to talk with him about things, but it always ends up awkward because were so vastly different. Yet we both try so hard to click like a father and son should. Film has become our safe zone. Say Blade Runner and we are like two sports fans that have known each other for decades. Alas, Ive never had a chance to make him proud. His first and most fiery passion is automobiles, and has expressed disappointment for my lack of interest. At the risk of sounding solipsistic, I want to hear an authentic Thats my boy or, Im proud of you, son at least once. Not a forced one, like after I messed up a play in frosh football, but a real one; one that derives from our one bond. Finding out your dad, the man who created you, is not going to be here much longer, is one heck of a sobering experience. </p>
<p>Yes, I am cognizant of each and every grade I have received up to this point, from A to D. I am a boxer though, and I still have to get in the ring one more time. There is a high chance that Im going to get knocked out, but its a risk that I must take. My GPA is something that was majorly affected by Biology 4, in which I received two Ds in a row. Science has never been my strong suit, and in that class I tried my best. I stayed afterschool to garner help from the professors, studied for hours in the library, joined study groups, and even went to a tutor, but plant biology and I just didnt click. No mercy, but I know with all my heart that I tried my hardest. I, John Smith, take full responsibility. </p>
<p>Cinematically, UNIVERSITY is the only destination. It was the place that nurtured the talents of many men directing the great silver-screen adventures today. I plan to make my aspiration to become a director a reality, by way of hard work and passion. UNIVERSITY would provide me with the appropriate atmosphere to reach this goal, and to foster my creativity. I want to leave the world a better place than I found it, make UNIVERSITY proud, and make my father proud.</p>
<p>I will stay focused on my studies and work hard to receive excellent marks; all As during my time at UNIVERSITY. Integrity and honesty are the traits that Im most proud of, and I adhere to them every moment I breathe. I understand that this written promise will most likely be deemed futile and an unnecessary addition. But I must bare my soul. I dont make promises I cant keep, and this new, sudden, shocking shift in my life has galvanized me in especially keeping this one. The high expectations you have for me will be met."</p>
<p>Dear Mods: Is there a way you can edit my essay into the original post? I have a feeling people don’t see the essay immediately, and then exit the thread.</p>
<p>You can also delete this post right here, and the “Sent it :-)” post I made. I didn’t mean to be so gratuitous with my posts! Thanks so much in advance. :-)</p>