<p>Christmas break has been really hard for me this year and I'm only a week into it. My dad has already gotten mad at me a few times because of my plans for the future. I've casually mentioned that I wouldn't mind living off of only a little money doing what I love (writing) rather than doing something that pays a lot but I'm just not into like an engineer or something. My dad has usually been a little disappointed when I mention that fact but recently he's gotten more and more mad at me. Tonight he told me that if I wasn't going to be a doctor or some other high-paying, prestigious occupation, that he'll just cut me off. I don't know what to do. Are any of you in a similar situation? How do you deal with the loss of support?</p>
<p>lol, sounds like a typical high-strung Asian parent. You can do what a Chinese guy I know is doing–he’s double majoring in biology and philosophy and just telling his parents that he’s majoring in biology. So you might be able to double major in pre-med studies and writing and then after undergrad, if you don’t want to go into medicine, you can fall back on your double major. And if it turns out you don’t want to do writing, well then your Dad couldn’t be happier. Win win.</p>
<p>You can still take premed classes with an English major (many people do that). The double major thing might be a bit difficult depending on a variety of factors. I know that of my lab partners is double majoring in engineering (mechanical or electrical, can’t remember) and biology because his parents want him to be a doctor (if he quits the biology major his parents will probably disown him or something) and he wants to be an engineer (he has to take summer classes and go over the unit limit during the school year to graduate on time - extremely difficult).</p>
<p>I concur with the double-majoring. I’m in a bit of an opposite yet similar/different situation. I love both writing and French, but my mother doesn’t really like French. So I’m just double-majoring in both while planning on studying abroad yet doing internships and an undergraduate thesis in writing to please my mum. Sometimes, we have to at least try to please those who support and wants what’s best for us.</p>
<p>What aldfig0 said. It seems like as long as you take some bio stuff too, med school really likes all kinds of liberal arts students. I was thinking about trying for med school, and my plan was to do creative writing and the med school requirements to round it out. People laugh about writing not applying to the real world, but everyone in industry I talk to tells me how rare and useful it is to be able to write well on top of whatever else you do. </p>
<p>That said, discussing such a plan with him aside, don’t for a second consider choosing a life you don’t want just because your father is being a **** stain about it. There are scholarships everywhere, and loans beyond that. This is your only life, and your father will be dead in 20 years anyway. Not to sound crude. But I can’t imagine how, “Oh, OK, I will just spend every second of my remaining existence in a life I don’t want, because you told me to” is even on the table. </p>
<p>Good luck, though. Realistically, I think you should just be able to say, “look, med school loves the humanities, I love the humanities, everyone is happy for the next 4-minus-x years, we’ll see what happens,” and everything should be cool.</p>
<p>What profession is your dad in? If he is not a doctor or some other really impressive thing, ask him why not? Tell him to go to school if the career is so important to him, but that you have other interests and dreams and being a doctor isn’t one of them. Besides, you’d be a horrible doctor if you really aren’t interested in dealing with people’s bodies, blood, etc! Who wants a doctor that might be smart, but can’t stand that stuff? Would your father want that kind of doctor doing surgery on him?</p>
<p>I feel for you Lily. But as a parent, I think I know what your dad is afraid of.</p>
<p>The problem with “writing” is that it’s very hard to make a living just writing. Most writers have other occupations and write on the side until they make a name for themselves. Your dad is afraid that you won’t have a way to support yourself, and they will have to continue supporting you for many years after graduation. That’s why the threat of “cutting you off” comes- “cut you off now so I don’t have to cut you off later.” </p>
<pre><code>Medicine is a career that takes a tremendous amount of dedication, so I would never advise it for someone who isn’t really committed. But… there are other careers that can provide a decent living, and it’s your responsibility to figure out what you are willing to do to support yourself, even while pursuing your writing. Have you considered talking to a career counselor? There surely is something that fits with your love of writing that you could do that would still provide income. Have you considered law, teaching, or maybe even something else in the health field like occupational therapy? There’s a lot to do in the world where writing well is important. But finding a full-time job as a writer these days? Not promising.
</code></pre>
<p>Be practical, but don’t feel forced into something you dislike or don’t feel qualified to do. Find a field that suits your talents and your disposition, but that also has the potential for a reasonably secure income. And then confidently pursue it, and earn your dad’s respect. This is your most important task for the next decade if you want to become an independent adult.</p>
<p>For writing, does your school offer a Writing and Rhetoric degree? That’s what I’m studying, and it’s great because it has so many job options. You can do editing, publishing, freelance stuff, screenplay writing, or its a nice law school prerequisite or a good path if you wish to go into academia. Creative writing may help you hone your skills as a writer, but if you just take a couple creative writing classes and do independent stuff while using your love in an academic, practical way, it can work out. (not trying to pressure you. Just sharing how I’m planning my writing passion)</p>
<p>Thank you all for the suggestions. I can’t double major because I don’t have time - I have two business minors as well and I was a Chemistry major first semester freshman year and didn’t really like it.</p>
<p>My dad is a lawyer, so it’s not like he is being hypocritical. I’ve even said that I might consider law school. I think he thinks I’m completely stupid and I won’t take a job if it isn’t my “dream job” right off the bat. He thinks if I’m not a doctor (or a lawyer) that I’ll literally live on the streets… How do I convince him I can still get a good job? That I still have grad school options and I won’t be a complete waste of his money?</p>
<p>You convince him by researching jobs right now that have the kind of background that you want to pursue. What type of internships are you considering for your summers? Will you be looking for internships in writing oriented fields? </p>
<p>You convince yourself first- find the kind of job out there that you want in four years. Once you’re convinced, convincing him will be much easier.</p>
<p>I doubt very much that your dad thinks you’re stupid. He thinks you haven’t had experience in the workforce and don’t know what you’re up against. He’s right. It’s not that easy to just find a good job unless you have the kind of background an employer is looking for. Internships are the key.</p>
<p>How can you still get a good job with a degree in English? Good question.</p>
<p>Just don’t pull a Dead Poets Society</p>
<p>The people who make money writing are also very good salesmen. They need to be able to work freelance for the most part, negotiate with publishers and sell their work, and also produce, produce, produce what the market wants- not necessarily what you want to write.
Most of the cutting edge, really interesting writing going on right now is underground, unpaid and found on internet sites, available for free. These folks are writers- but doing something else for their bread and butter.
Traditional publishing is dying. Look up how many publishing jobs there are, and you’ll be amazed at how few editorial spots there are in all of magazine, book and newspaper publishing combined. Most are in NYC. And every editor starts out now as an editorial assistant (ie secretary), but must come with previous publishing experience. It’s brutal.</p>
<p>Could you possibly do pre-law and english/creative writing? Those are more related than english and bio.</p>
<p>Would I be correct that you are going to a very expensive university? In that case, I see your dad’s point to some extent. I don’t happen to agree that the only jobs that you can earn a living at are doctor, lawyer, or engineer. But I get that he is pushing for you to be more practical, and he probably does not want to continue supporting you after college and/or in grad school for something that never pays back in salary.</p>
<p>And… it is easy to say that you don’t need much money to live. That changes a lot when you have a family, and can’t afford a safe neighborhood/quality day care/saving for college/etc.</p>
<p>There’s no point in taking pre-med classes to become a doctor if you already don’t like it. My parents wanted me to be a doctor too. What makes me angry looking back is that they were/are pretty ignorant when it comes to education. I told them I enjoyed math/computer science/engineering and they told me that that’s an easy major and anyone could become an engineer or computer scientist… when that couldn’t be further from the truth… these are some of the toughest majors. you’re not 15 or 16 any more, it’s time to take a stand.</p>
<p>God gave you a middle finger. Use it.</p>
<p>lol, seriously. Stress to him that it’s your life and its your responsibility to make yourself happy. Make an agreement that your career-field will have at least somewhat decent prospects.</p>
<p>Thanks again, everyone.</p>
<p>I’m applying for mostly jobs this summer to try and become a little more financially independent, but I’m also applying for either a Marketing or Artistic internship at the theater. I’m not really sure what I want to do yet… what I’ve been thinking is getting into “the business of art”. I feel I’d make enough money to live okay, right?</p>
<p>I think I’ll tell my dad I’m considering law school for now - which I am - but also better prepare myself for other options.</p>
<p>Thank you guys!</p>
<p>Wow it’s sad that some people are like this. Parents should always support their kids (as long as it’s reasonable). You can make money out of any major, especially if it is your passion because you’ll put forth more effort.</p>
<p>Dad’s not very well informed. It’s not either-or. In fact, when it comes to med school admissions, a literature major with solid stats in pre-med and the MCAT will undoubtedly have an edge over the hordes of me-too biology majors with similar stats.</p>
<p>And medicine is not incompatible with a literary career. </p>
<p>I’m guessing your Dad’s not from a western culture, or else just not - sorry to be blunt here- very well-read. </p>
<p>In the Western nations especially, there is a long tradition of outstanding modern fiction writers using the insights gained in their medical practice or training in order to write vivid, compelling stories. Anton Chekhov, for my money the greatest short story writer of any era or culture, remained a practicing physician throughout his life (“Medicine is my wife, and literature my mistress”, Chekhov famously said).</p>
<p>One of the 20th century’s finest American fiction writers, Walker Percy, was a southern doctor who was trained at Columbia. Somerset Maugham believed that his medical training helped sharpen his writing; certainly, Michael Crichton’s training at Harvard Med made him a better writer and lent some scientific heft to his thrillers. Hemingway’s early stories draw upon his observations of his father’s house calls while summering in northern Michigan.</p>
<p>It would be a crime for you to abandon your literary ambitions because of your father’s ignorance. </p>
<p>The truth is that your fiction writing would make you a better doctor, and your medical practice would make you a better writer. Re. the former, sharp observation of and insight into human behavior are crucial for effective diagnosis. Re. the latter, medical practice gives one a front-row seat at thousands of unique, private, compelling individual and family dramas.</p>
<p>Be strong. It’s your life. As Jobs said, “Don’t settle.”</p>
<p>I was in this same situation. I majored in creative writing, much to my doctor dad’s disappointment.</p>
<p>Now I have a sweet job at a high-end tech company making video games and using my writing skills every day. Meanwhile most of my bio and chem friends who don’t want to do grad school are struggling to find jobs.</p>
<p>Not everyone who writes for a living is throwing their degree out the window. :)</p>