My Essay on Common App Prompt 2, questions about what is expected

<p>Hello, this is my first post. I wanted some help with my common app essay, which I discussed heavily with my brother. We seem to have different ideas on how to answer prompt 2 for the common app, and I'm no longer sure what the prompt is asking for, and what "failure" really means. I'm not sure which style do college admission officers hope to see. Please tell me if you want to look at it for me, and I'll PM you. </p>

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<p>About the differences in our ideas:</p>

<p>Basically I argue with him that since there are only 5 prompts but thousands of applicants, they are meant only as guidelines to write any story of my own. The point of the essay is not to show how I am exceptional, just to present a human side of my life. So I thought the prompt is very general and not asking for anything in particular; that I just need to write something that didn't go very smoothly. My essay was about how I faced numerous challenges doing something, and eventually realized something about myself. In a sense, it's more about persistence and self-enlightenment. </p>

<p>My brother, though, thinks that the point of the essay is to show the officers how I am exceptional and mature, and he says the failure essay has a fixed purpose in mind. The admissions officers hope to see how I am humble and willing to accept my shortcomings. He hopes that I write about a task where I have below-average skill, to allow me to admit my vulnerability and portray me as a very mature person and a deep thinker. He thinks my essay is off-topic, and should be rewritten to focus on humbleness.</p>

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<p>I'll also post the intro of the essay and a brief outline of the essay, to help any of you understand what I mean without having the entire essay posted here (which would be a security risk according to the forum admins' notices)</p>

<p>"I stood in front of a dusty metal door, fishing out my keys. Soon, a refreshing spring breeze and the sound of rustling leaves replaced the stale indoor air and the muffled voices from the upstairs TV. I let my thoughts roam unleashed as I walked on a relaxing path lined with greenery. It’s a habit of mine – to find somewhere peaceful and simply daydream.
That night, one fantastical idea began a lengthy mental adventure full of challenging obstacles. I embarked on that adventure with anticipation instead of apprehension.
I was going to bring a fictional universe into reality…through a computer game."</p>

<p>I talked about how I was doodling in my mind, and came up with a surreal universe where time travel was easy. I decided to try very hard to make the game come true, coming up with theories of time travel and game mechanics, eventually realizing that even after months of thinking I still couldn't get a satisfactory game outline. I said how I realized that my interests are in making the fantastical come into reality, and that I was willing to go through hardship and difficulty to get a product done. I didn't care if I completed the project with a product that was not very impressive, satisfied that I made it anyway. To me, ideas are worth investigating, and any idea could very well lead to meaningful inventions.</p>

<p>Thank you all! I'm in a hard position and would really appreciate your help!</p>

<p>I’m pretty sure that your brother is wrong. Even if the prompt had a correct/specific “answer”, I don’t think it would be what he said </p>

<p>“fixed purpose”</p>

<p>If it had a fixed purpose, I’d imagine they would explicitly express that (like …" Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it make you more humble?" lel. A fixed purpose leaves out everyone who would have to lie to fit the “purpose.” </p>

<p>“The admissions officers hope to see how I am humble and willing to accept my shortcomings.”</p>

<p>I think it’d be more along the lines of … The admissions officers hope to see who I am and how I deal with my shortcomings. </p>

<p>“He hopes that I write about a task where I have below-average skill, to allow me to admit my vulnerability and portray me as a very mature person and a deep thinker”</p>

<p>What if you fail at an extremely difficult task in a field where you have great skill? Additionally, not everyone is “very mature” at the age of 17/18, and not everyone is an exceptionally profound thinker. I wouldn’t follow your brothers advice if it means that you write an essay that isn’t about the true you. </p>

<p>To be honest, I got sort of lost in your essay. But, It’s the middle of the night, so I might have just missed something. Perhaps if I read a complete essay, then I would’ve understood it. </p>

<p>Thank you for your response.</p>

<p>I guess I was a bit extreme by using the word “fixed purpose”; my brother did say that the admissions officers hope to see these “humbleness” elements foregrounded to some level though, including indication that I might be below average in some skill. I think this is not possible in my essay, where I talk about persistence and not flat-out giving up / accepting that I cannot make it to the end. </p>

<p>Your opinion does sound right, I’ll probably find it hard to write a essay with my voice if I follow my brother’s advice. I did talk about working on a very difficult task and facing challenges (that have not yet been resolved even today - I’m still working on that task). He’s not sure if the failure mentioned in my essay is really a failure, and if it really isn’t, then I think I’ll choose another prompt and start afresh instead.</p>

<p>My outline was very brief. I’ll PM you the full essay, and hope to hear more about whether you think I answered the prompt or not (whether facing challenges counts as failure).</p>

<p>Also, though I have a response, I’m still open to more opinions. I’ll love to hear what others, especially those who are experienced with these essays, would have to say.</p>

<p>I disagree with your brother. He has his own very specific thing he thinks, so let him write his own essay about that. I personally wouldn’t pick to write about something I am below average at to highlight myself in my only college essay. Being humble is a nice quality and it is fine if that fits your essay, but if it doesn’t that is fine. Sure you don’t want a self aggrandizing essay, that is offputting of course, but being confident is not a problem.</p>

<p>Thank you for the advice. My brother no longer thinks that the essay has to be about being below average. But another issue is still present.</p>

<p>In the latest version of my essay I ended up with a compromise that I found genuine (not some exaggerated sense of humbleness). The essay talks about a moment I realized my flaws, so it’s still recognizably a failure story. But I also wanted to highlight some other qualities of mine.</p>

<p>So far, I only hinted at them by describing the things I do. Is that a bad idea? Would it sound like my strongest quality would be the humbleness, to the almost complete exclusion of others (which I think isn’t quite true)? Or are implicit clues also important? </p>

<p>I can’t directly state them, because that will completely destroy the humbleness. It’ll be like saying “I’m thoughtful and inventive”, “I’m persistent and my work pays off”, “I am highly skilled at building things”…etc. I honestly think something like “I critically judge my wrongdoings” is also true, but it somehow sounds paradoxical to outright claim that with the other things I want to say. I’m not sure what to do if I need to make the other qualities more clear.</p>

<p>If showing you the actual essay would help, be sure to tell me and I’ll PM it.</p>

<p>It sounds like there are ‘too many cooks’ between your brother and parents. I can take a quick look as it seems you are getting confused and over thinking things.</p>

<p>Heh, I guess I’m getting a bit anxious since I’m sometimes scolded and told that I’m not taking this seriously enough. I appreciate your help. I PMed, but I’m not sure if it worked. I’m not told whether it was sent, and I don’t have 15 posts yet.</p>