<p>My friend and I both do well in school, but she is constantly comparing herself to me. I could care less about others peoples' test scores and grades, but she has this inferiority complex about everyone being better than her. </p>
<p>She is always asking my scores on everything, and then she complains that she got a worse grade even though she studied more. I tell her every day how smart she is, how she is a great artist, etc. to try and boost her self-esteem, but she just denies everything. It's getting really annoying because I feel like I can't ever share good news with her because she will just get upset and think that she's not good enough for some reason.</p>
<p>I'm her friend and I don't want her to feel that way but I'm not doing anything to provoke it, and I try to tell her that she is very intelligent and congratulate her on everything to make her feel better, but it doesn't work.</p>
<p>What can I say or do to make her stop thinking everything is a competition?</p>
<p>I don’t know a good way to fix this, but I would ignore her. If she asks why, then start ranting to her about what you just said. She’s be broken up at first, but then, she’ll realize that either a) you’re right and try to amend the situation, or b) be mad cuz she knows that’s her problem and just wants someone to constantly compliment her. But judging from your description of her, she would come running back to you. Be upfront about it and said that you’re don’t like that part of her. If she’s a good friend, she’ll try to change that. </p>
<p>Btw, I have a friend like this too, and it’s sooo annoying. Everytime I say something, she just says something back just for the sake of arguing, even though she agrees with me. And then she just turns the blame onto me or something. She’s so self-centered, she doesn’t realize there’s something to the world besides her and her stupid needs. It’s almost impossible to get anything across with her and it ****es me off sometimes. </p>
<p>I know some people that are similar to your friend.</p>
<p>I advise you to not too reassure her all the time, because she would eventually think you are just making her ‘feel better’. (In a way, this IS one of your motives.)
Compliment her once in a while, and when she complains that she got a worse grade than you even when she ‘studied more’, try to talk with her. Try to help her solve her problems. Maybe she isn’t using her time wisely? Perhaps you have some study techniques you can share with her, or even study with her?</p>
<p>I believe that it would be best to help her boost her confidence rather than just sugar-coated compliments.
Tell her that it is true life is a competition, but it is not neccesary to rant about how others are ‘better’ or ‘smarter’ than you, because ranting and complaining about them won’t change anything. Also tell her that she should just accept the compliments because they are true!
Hope that helps! (:
Explain your thoughts and your emotions to her. I’m sure she’ll understand.</p>
<p>I feel you should approach this issue head-on. She doesn’t need better study strategies or positive encouragement, she needs a reality check. All of this is centered around her; she is constantly comparing herself to everyone else, and it’s selfish.</p>
<p>It’s selfish because she doesn’t take into account how she makes her friends feel or anyone who has to listen to her talk about herself. It’s also extremely immature.</p>
<p>Yes, everyone does get like this sometimes, but if it’s everyday, no one will want to talk to her after awhile.</p>
<p>There is nothing specifically you can say/do that will magically give her insight, but if you have a direct, mature, and constructive conversation about it, it may do you more good than her. You can see how she takes it and evaluate your relationship with her from there. You don’t have to be close to everybody; in fact, you don’t have to be friends with everybody. If she is a close enough friend, though, you will be the one to decide where your friendship goes next.</p>