<p>So yes we will attend the same college, live in seperate housing, and do so happily. </p>
<p>OP, the question that is the most of concern is who is going to be paying for your boyfriend and your college experiences? All well and good that you apply to the same school, and hopefully you both get accepted. If you are going away to school, the tuition, room and board, not to mention the transportation, books and living expenses are going to be up there. Paying all of this is a big issue for most people. If you can make the finances work out, fine. I’m sure that there is a school that will take you both. But few schools will even meet full need for all of their students, and both of you will have to apply for financial aid using your parents’ financial info as you don’t appear to meet independence criteria (look it up with google–paying for your own things and being independent that way isn’t what make you independent for fin aid). </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>“He looked this as a way to make things really serious”. If you are partially living with him, isn’t your relationship already “really serious”??? </p>
<p>You asked a group of parents for advice. You are going to get typical parent responses. But honestly, I think that many students might have the same answer(s).</p>
<p>You also say the both of you will attend “the college of my choice” - are you then not taking into account the best fit for BF and a school of his choice???</p>
<p>Finally, if you re determined to Just attend the same school, why don’t you Just both enroll as fresh,en and get placed randomly as other freshmen do, and be there but living separately , have your own experiences, etc.</p>
<p>Were both considering either nku or uc which are universities relatively close to us and in state. Both within the hour. I qualified for several grants, scholarships, and since my mothers income isn’t high enough for anything to go out of her pocket a lot of my college tuition is getting paid for. Very little will be financial aide. I am very blessed. I can’t say the same for my boyfriend however this is what we want to do and we’re determined to make it work. Also, my boyfriend and I qualify for a work study program at both nku and uc so </p>
<p>If this is what you want and are determined to make it work why bother posting?</p>
<p>Speaking practically- if your education is going to be self-funded via scholarships and grants, and your BF can do the same (and he can get into NKU or UC) then terrific- lots of luck to you both. If yours is self-funded and he can’t get the funds to attend- I’m not sure you want to hear the advice you are going to get on this board from a bunch of parents.</p>
<p>So best of luck to you. I think parents get to age 45 or 50 or 60 and end up knowing lots of adults who missed out on completing their college education for a variety of reasons- but frequently it’s women who sacrificed their education for the sake of a BF or husband- and then they come to regret it. But if you don’t want to hear our perspective (what’s life like for a 30 year old who has two years of college under her belt, two kids, working a minimum wage job to pay the rent so the husband can finally complete his last year of college while they frantically pay the barest minimum on their credit cards every month) then don’t ask.</p>
<p>For my two cents- you should apply to NKU and UC. You should figure out which one better meets your educational goals. Your BF can either join you or not; he can get a college education or not; you guys may end up together in five years or you may not. But at least at that point you will have your degree and whatever else happens in life, nobody can take away your education.</p>
<p>Multiple posts noted that this sounds like a high risk situation. I agree. Unless ready for a life long commitment, you have to prioritize school. There are thousands of stories about sweethearts who work hard on their studies at the University meant for them (each in different cities) and have a great life together when they are done, but not so many success stories following the path you describe.</p>
<p>If NKU is Northern Kentucky, then only 14.3% of their students get full need met with the average amount being 53% of need being met. The cost for the school is nearly $20K according to its COA with tuition around $8400. It seems that you meet the critieria for merit money and are looking at some scholarships and with PELL ($5700 with a zero EFC) DIrect Loans of $5500 that a freshman can take and maybe some state aid and college aid, and working, you can come up with the full amount. Your boyfriend, you say, may not be as able to get money with his academic record, and I have no idea if his parents’ financial will even qualify him for any aid other than the Direct Loan which he may not be able to get if he has some issues from prior courses. IF you live off campus together, you could save money on the living expenses,and that is a consideration. Don’t expect federal work study–it’s often limited, and one does have to qualify to get any of it. If your boyfriend has unresolved issues from his prior courses, he may not be eligible for any federal aid. </p>
<p>If you are so committed, why don’t you get married? Then you might qualify for married student housing, certainly would not have to live in dorms, go on meal plan (though you could probably get that requirement waived though it can be a pain to go through the process) and you would both qualify for fin aid on your own financials. Though again, if your boyfriend has some baggage from his first go at school, he well might not get anything. He can find out what he has to do to regain eligibility. You don’t qualify for any of the things for married students when you don’t make that commitment and no, colleges do not make it easy for those who are just cohabiting… Lots of cohabiting going on’; you’re clumped with all of those such students as it is. If this is so special, why not make the commitment official?</p>
<p>I agree that success in college for young people is less likely when decisions are based on on a relationship, than that of students whose main focus is on school.</p>
<p>This doesn’t mean that those students your age in relationships who do make school the priority don’t have strong feelings for each other, like you do. It means their desire to get an education is stronger and they are willing to make sacrifices for it. It means they are willing to put off having an adult relationship today in order to have one tomorrow, when they have a degree and are self sufficient.</p>
<p>For many students, college means an eventual end to the relationship. They are young and change a lot, grow in different directions and meet new people. A few stay together. I have known some who met as teens, attended different colleges (some near each other)- even graduate school, and eventually married. It can happen, but in all cases each knows they need to pursue their educational goals, and they are willing to put those goals first. </p>
<p>OP, of you have a short list of schools you are Interested in and you somehow have a fin aid offer on the table (right? You have all you listed in writing? Don’t just rely on the school website to be certain you ge all those offers) then why don’t you jist call the schools on your list - the residence life office - and ask how/if and what cost they can accommodate you two? That would be what a responsible, mature person would need to do.</p>
<p>OP, I urge you, do not let this relationship derail your future. You need to finish college no matter what your boyfriend decides to do. What will happen if your boyfriend decides again that college is not for him? Will you drop out too? You need to keep your eyes on the long term and make sure that you will have a way to support yourself no matter what happens with this relationship</p>
<p>My father went to college with his first wife. They did just as the OP wants to do. Found housing near a university and in their case, took turns working and going to college at a CC until they reached university status. Took 8 years for them to get their degrees, but they did it. And a lot of couples do this. But you have to be mature enough, resourceful enough, work hard enough, and when I say “you”, I mean both of you to make it work. I doubt the colleges would have housing for the two of you together, but they might let you both out of any dorm requirement and you could find off campus housing.</p>
<p>But you need to make sure you have all the money in place. It’s awfully early to have all of this already. Did you apply during the summer? If you are just adding up possibilities, be aware that all of that may not pan out. Like you are assuming lots of work study, when the fact of the matter is that most schools do not have enough to go around so everyone gets less than they want. And there is the issue of your boyfriend and his eligibility for things. But , yes, you can do this if you two are intrepid enough to get it together.</p>
<p>@samiam6969 </p>
<p>Please realize this, when you come to a public website & post your life story, you open yourself up to many opinions. It’s not like we were eavesdropping in on a private conversation & opinions were given to you unsolicited.</p>
<p>We CCers are a pretty diverse bunch & our sentiments range far & wide. Be warned, when you post your life story and ASK for help, we will chime in…we will shoot straight from the hip and not candy coat anything. As an adult, you must learn the art of being open to others opinions. If my own daughter were in a relationship and she was asking another parent for advice, I would appreciate the whole BC discussion because having babies prematurely is life altering. Downright detrimental to ones growth. </p>
<p>Your original post was completely different from post #19…</p>
<p>Your first post sounded as if he would only go back to school if he could go to college & live on campus with you. Now you are saying that this was all your idea. It’s all confusing from one post to the next. I see why you are so overwhelmed!!! </p>
<p>You say that you want to be together…so have at it! It appears that you have it all figured out and our advice & wisdom are not needed. You don’t need the advice of seasoned, mature adults. We are far too stupid to give any advice! 
</p>
<p>OP, I don’t think you are understanding us.
If your boyfriend attempted to attend a community college, he has to now apply as a transfer. Thats a general rule. If he even took one class, he can’t go in as a freshman. You don’t get to make that decision or tell the university that he’s applying as a freshman. The colleges make the admittance decisions. The colleges make the housing decisions. That’s what everyone is trying to tell you but you aren’t listening.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>OP, you say that your BF tried a CC for a couple of years. Even if he attempted some credits and didn’t pass any, that will come up during the app process. Schools use a Clearing House that tells them if an applicant ever matriculated at any other college. Your BF’s CC class-attempts will show up. If he did poorly, that will affect admission chances. Sounds like college wasn’t for him because he found out that there is homework and studying to do. </p>
<p>It doesn’t sound like he seriously wants to go to college, but will do so because YOU are doing so. That will not be enough. </p>
<p>You say that you have always been a 3.6 student. Good, but have you taken a tough curriculum? Does your school have easy grading and not much serious homework? </p>
<p>Once in college, you will have to hit the books and if you arent’ used to that AND your BF won’t be happy with you being pre-occupied with homework/studying, that can take a toll. </p>
<p>I think you’re being very wise to choose living in the dorms, separately, your freshman year, and waiting till sophomore year to move in together.</p>
<p>Being a good student in high school is a good indication you can do well in college, but your curriculum rigor (ie., number of honors classes + number of AP/IB/dual enrollment classes) will matter. This is important since you’ll be juggling the typical obligations of a college freshman (2 hours of hw for each hour in class, study groups, labs, clubs…) with the obligations that come with having a steady boyfriend at the same college. Sometimes you’ll have to make a choice between your boyfriend and a study group, and it won’t be easy.</p>
<p>Apply to various colleges and compare financial aid/scholarships. Have your boyfriend do the same.
have you run the NPC’s on 4-5 colleges?</p>
<p>
Can you explain? Are you saying of the schools both of you are accepted, you will choose which to attend? Does FA factor in to the equation? As other have explained, he’ll be applying as a transfer, and no guarantee you’ll get into the same schools.</p>
<p>
. And apologies for being the grammar police- but its like nails on a blackboard . Its “he and I” not “me and him”. </p>
<p>Oh, and while I’m being an annoying grammar police person, it is being enrolled [as a freshman] in, or enrolled at (depending on the rest of your sentence), but definitely not enrolled to.</p>
<p>Okay…I’m going to assume that you are going into your senior year of high school and are talking about doing this in 2015-2016. </p>
<p>If you have a finite list of colleges, the rational thing to do is to look at their housing policies. If NKU is Northern Kentucky University, you can’t do what you plan. Its website says:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>So, unless policies change in a year–which is unlikely–you have to forget the idea of living on campus with your boyfriend if you want to attend NKU. </p>
<p>In addition to answering this question, you need to find out if you will be allowed to live off campus, should you choose that option. Again, many schools don’t allow freshman to do this UNLESS they are living with their parents or guardians AND are living within X distance of the campus at the time they apply. If UC is University of Cincinnatti, you can’t live with your boyfriend on campus and you can’t live off campus except with your parents if they live within 50 miles, even if you are married. Plus, </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You can google as well as we can----check the policies of the other schools you are interested in. </p>
<p>I haven’t done an exhaustive search, but far as I know, even the colleges that do allow you to live with members of the opposite sex don’t allow freshmen to do this. </p>
<p>^jonri, OP specified she planned on living on campus in one residence hall and her boyfriend in another one, which I think is quite wise and mature.
Now the issue is applying to enough colleges to ensure they’ll meet her academic needs and offer sufficient financial aid, while being either a college the boyfriend can go to or near a community college the boyfriend can go to if he can’t get into the same college.</p>
<p>OP, you have my support. </p>
<p>Look (and I say this as a mom), none of us want to see our kids married young and maybe missing out on their path. But i also think that sometimes people find their right person early, they have the maturity to see if through, and it’s the right direction. I think you’re in that camp. You sound mature. And you’ve come up with a good plan for you and your boyfriend to live in separate dorms. I wish you good luck! </p>