i love my kid. Honestly, he’s a ray of goodness and sunshine. But there’s one thing that drives me nuts and that’s his tendency to assume everything will always work out and – since it’s all going to work out – never plan for any scenario where it doesn’t. Case in point: He applied for one internship. He really did crawl his way into it…they told him that they only interviewed juniors and seniors (he’s a sophomore) but they liked him so much that they brought him in for two separate days of interviews, including the guy who founded the place (it’s a well-funded startup where every guy in his 20s wants to work…skateboards in the hallway and craft beers on Fridays). But he received an email this morning say that they love him but they had to go with someone with more experience (he forwarded the letter my way and it does sound genuine and regretful).
So now it’s latter April and we’re both like now what? And here’s where the question comes…I could find him something. I have enough contacts and he’s the kind of kid who interviews well. God knows, I’ve hired their kids under similar circumstances. But then it’s not his internship, ya know? From his end, all of the career fairs are over, he’s not in the honors program (at his large state university, they’re the only ones with personal counselors) and the school itself really says that they emphasize helping juniors and seniors first (i don’t blame them).
What’s your advice? Right now, he still can’t believe he didn’t get chosen…so he just texted and said he’s going to run up and down the hills of the campus until he gets over it.
My son may have put all of his eggs in one basket for this summer too, which didn’t come through for him either. So no real advice, just commiserating. He may be working for the family business again (the last thing he really wants to do), and might supplement that by finding some part-time (and perhaps unpaid) internships more related to what he really wants to do… (I scoured some “Indeed” listings for him, out of my own curiosity as to might still be out there).
As he’ll be busy for next two summers, let him chill this summer. May be a job at some local shop, a trip to a city he wants to go for grad school and an online course can add some structure to sleep, books, movies, music, gym and friends. Life isn’t a race.
Call in your chits and get him interviews if you can. It would be a job, not an internship.
My daughter was young and very shy. She also wanted to come home for the summer so didn’t get any internships through the school. She called a friend whose father owns an engineering firm and set up an interview. He wanted it to be an internship with her not getting paid but getting credit and we couldn’t really afford that so she worked for $10/hr and I think they were quite impress with her and she gained a lot of confidence that she could be given a task and complete it even if she knew nothing about it before she started. That was her big issue, that even though she was in college, she didn’t know how to DO anything. She did a lot of research on permits (“Mom, do you know how much permits COST?”). One of the guys liked her so much he wanted to ‘home school/college’ her.
He needs a job, not necessarily an internship or career.
@SouthernHope Your son is destined for great things. To get called back for a program that wasn’t even open to him says it all. Maybe just offer your assistance and let him work things out.
I would just tell him to find a job this summer. He might end up working in a cruddy environment and that will be eye opening, and maybe next year he will put more focus on an internship.
Not every kid needs to intern every summer. I actually think it’s good for a kid to do some hard labor so they appreciate how good they have it. Last summer my son worked a tedious job where walked 5-8 miles a day and doing vigorous work. He would be so tired at the end of the day. This Spring he went all out on his co-op search and he is feeling good about his result.
I would let your son decide if he wants you to help him land a different gig for the summer. Maybe he will figure something out without your help. Otherwise hook him up if that’s what he wants !
I would offer to use your contacts to open some doors for interviews. My DH got every single one of his summer internships through connections. There is nothing wrong with getting a foot in the door. He’s still going to need to interview and seal the deal.
Good life lesson about continuing to pound the pavement until there is a written offer in hand.
I don’t think there is a wrong answer, but if you want to teach him a lesson, tell him you’ll call in your contacts for an internship junior and senior year, but it is up to him to figure out this summer on his own.
If it was a prof offering help in arranging some last minute interviews, I think everyone would be OK with that - strength of the network don’t you know. Well, I’d consider you a part of his network, so if you could arrange some interviews - I think that’d be great.
I think I’d sit down (in person one way or another) and have a strategy session for the summer. See what ideas he can come up with that will increase his experience and future employ-ability and make some money. Help him develop two or three plans – lifeguard and take a class, get a part time retail gig, mow lawns and paint houses, look for an internship with another target company or three … and then suggest he work all the plans until one clicks. If he asks for your help/connections getting an internship, I’d make the contact for him.
I’d tell him to ask around on campus about any summer research positions, apply for more internships, and start applying for regular summer jobs. If you bail him out, he won’t learn a thing from it.
Agree with those saying ask him - does he want an internship with your contacts, does he want a regular summer job (camp counselor or such) or does he want to take classes (if that is an option) or just chill (although that can get old fast). What did he do last summer? I don’t think you helping him to get an internship as a sophomore is at all negative. Chances are most kids that age have an “in” for an internsip.
I’m not sure what type of internship he’s looking for, but it’s pretty late in the cycle especially for some STEM type internships. I think the lesson has already been learned, so helping out with some interviews that will help him look even better next year is a good thing. Paid summer research is always a good option.
The good news is that he has a job waiting for him…he’s been working at this Italian pizzeria – off and on - for the past 3 years and its the kind of place that is always getting featured on food shows…so that’s always there…but he really really wanted to move on this summer…he and I are talking by phone tonight…all of this advice is very good…I’ll keep you guys updated.
FWIW, my daughter’s university is doing a “last chance” career fair tomorrow. Is your son sure that there are no more career fairs on campus? I know lots of students were surprised that there were still companies hiring.
Summer school. Take a full load over the summer which can help regarding internships during the school year. Also, if taking a lighter course load might enable him to raise his GPA.
My daughter, a freshman, got an interview for a coveted local internship in her field. Even though realistically we knew it was a long shot, they really liked her and she was excited … until she got the “no thanks” email.
I had no problem beating the bushes among my friends to find her something somewhat related for the summer. Through a guy I play guitar with, she got the name and number of someone. She and that place have spoken, both sides seem excited, and they will firm things up when she gets home. It’s a small enough place that she will be able to play several roles and probably do a lot more than in the internship she didn’t get. It’s not quite the perfect fit the other one was, but the woman in charge has a lot of contacts locally and would be a good person to have in her corner for the future. It’s unfortunately not paying like the other one was, but …
Long story short - a lot of people use personal contacts to help their kids. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
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