<p>Help. My son wants to go to school in California. Mom wants son to live his dream and feels in her heart that this boy is really a displaced California kid (super laid back, loves surfing...) but would miss him terribly. Dad and younger sister do not want him to go. Younger brother urging him onward. We live in NY and I only allowed him to apply at 1 California school. We chose CalPoly because of its strength in Computer Engineering combined with its cost which is reasonable even for out of state.</p>
<p>I think it really comes down to is the final decision according to my sons wishes or our own? </p>
<p>Here are all of his options if this will help you help me:
(RANKED BY OUR COST):
1. SUNY Binghamton - Honors & scholarship - out because son hates it
2. University of Delaware - Honors and 8K/year scholarship, sons 2nd choice
3 (tie) Cal Poly - San Luis Obispo 2K scholarship expects Honors, sons 1st choice
3 (tie) UMD College Park - Honors and 8K/year scholarship - great option
4. Penn State - no scholarship or Honors so would cost 30K year
5. Carnegie Mellon - no scholarship so cannot afford</p>
<p>Still waiting:
Cooper Uniion (decent chance) - out because son hated it
Duke (probably rejection) - could only attend with scholarship
Hopkins (decent chance) - could only attend with scholarship</p>
<p>You've already had your say in allowing him to only apply to one California school. It is your SON that will be spending four years at his college, so it better be somewhere he could be happy. AND he'd be getting a scholarship, so money wouldn't be a huge issue.</p>
<p>If he were to go to a school closer to home would you actually see him more? Schools have the same breaks no matter where they are, so I think you'd miss him a lot anyway.</p>
<p>I know that it's hard to let go of your children at some point. I'm the baby girl of my family, from New England, and when I said I wanted to go to Ohio my parents had a very tough time. After a suffocating freshman year we ended up going to therapy! But my parents now see that although I'm far away from home, I'm much happier here than I would be a so-so school at home.</p>
<p>Some things to remember- 1. Although I'm a twelve hour drive from home, I can fly home faster than my friends in New England schools can drive home! 2. You son will miss you too, and he'll love you even more for letting him follow his dreams.</p>
<p>Twisted, it's time to let go. Be happy and proud that your son has a sense of adventure and wants to expand his horizons. This is the beginning of his adult life and the choices should be his. You and the family will also have a new adventure getting to visit in CA.</p>
<p>With all the weeping and moaning going on around here by kids who didn't get into Cal Poly SLO (and their parents)it's hard to imagine someone having it be his first choice but turning it down! Let him go, you will love visiting him.</p>
<p>Cal Poly is a great school, the top Cal State, with a better west coast rep than the lower UC's. However, Maryland probably has a better known rep on the east coast.</p>
<p>Be aware that travel from NY would not be simple, since SLO is ~four hours drive time from a major airport (LA and SF), the easiest and cheapest airports for transcon flights. Cal Poly is exactly half-way between SF and LA.</p>
<p>My son went from Virginia to LA. He's very happy there esepcially with the weather. I miss him, but with e-mail, cell phones, and relatively inexpensive air flights, CA is not as far away as it used to be.</p>
<p>i agree... let your son go to cal poly slo it's a great school and plus he's getting a scholarship too.. and if you say he is a "california kid" at heart, he'll fit in just fine and be happy</p>
<p>Please let your son decide. As others have said, at his two top choices (if I read right), UMd and CalPoly, he will be far enough away that you will see him a similar amount of time. Think of the fun you will have visiting when you can for Parents' Weekend etc. It will be a broadening experience for all.</p>
<p>Our S applied in New Orleans and Calif, as well as some east coast, but the more distant ones have always been his top choice and we wholeheartedly support him.</p>
<p>You can email, IM, telephone, whatever. </p>
<p>What would be a worse outcome - having him a little farther away than your own "comfort" zone, or having him plenty close but not at all happy with where he is?</p>
<p>PS - see the thread on coast-to-coast travel for lots of ideas on v inexpensive ways to get home for holidays, etc.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Be aware that travel from NY would not be simple, since SLO is ~four hours drive time from a major airport (LA and SF), the easiest and cheapest airports for transcon flights.
[/quote]
But there are other airports - San Jose cuts off quite a bit of the drive from SF. He's young! He can handle it.</p>
<p>Hi Variance 2004 - Why are you of the opinion that UMD-College Park is just "average" with no "special programs"? I am under the impression that quite the opposite is true. Do you go there and dislike it? I appreciate negative opinions as much as positive so please tell me why you feel this way.</p>
<p>From US News:
Best Undergraduate Engineering Programs
(At schools whose highest degree is a doctorate)
UMD comes in at #22</p>
<p>And also made each of these lists:
Academic Programs: First-year experiences
Academic Programs: Undergraduate research / creative projects
Academic Programs: Learning communities </p>
<p>Plus the Departmental Honors Program he was invited into states that he will start with advanced Math courses in his junior year which is great for him and every time he opens the mail they are inviting him into yet another program & they report fantastic job placement stats.</p>
<p>Yeah at least you let him apply to one. My dad didn't let me apply to any. If he really wants to go let him go. Although he might end up wanted to stay closer to home for various reasons. (I'm glad I never went far away. I don't think I was quite ready looking back.) and then he could try going there for grad school or something else. I'm sorry that you allowed only one school, especially with him being a Cali kid as you say. But if he feels he's ready and even got a scholarship I say let him go. He won't do well if he isn't happy where he is. If it is too much he can always transfer. But you have to let your son make his own decisions or else he'll never learn how.</p>
<p>Cal Poly is a fine school, but it sounds as if you have not been there; I would advise you and him to visit it before deciding, because of the location. California is not 100% surfing country.</p>
<p>San Luis Obispo is a nice large town in one of California's lesser known wine regions (Paso Robles, known for its zinfandels). Because of the nature of the school, the students will be hard-working enineering/ computer science types. Probably a fairly heavy M/F ratio. Surfing requires a 25-30 mile drive as SLO is a bit inland. Weather is very nice, though hot in summer. Lack of an urban environment, or one nearby, could be, or might not be, an issue.</p>
<p>I live in SLO, and can say that some of the above info is not correct. It is in a wine region and lacks an urban environment, but is about 10 miles from the beach. It's about 55/45 male/female, and temperatures average in the high 70's in the summer. I do agree that you should visit the college, if possible.</p>
<p>As a kid from CT that ended up going to school in Texas, I would say let him go. Going to college far away from home is a great experience. It also forces you to be independent because you can't run home to mom. I also think it helped my parents begin to recognize that I was growing up. My suitemate is from Houston, so she can go home on the weekends, and her parents regularly insist she do so. When she studied abroad it was really hard on them because she was so far away and it was the first time she had not been living in the same city.
Speaking of study abroad, it is getting more popular, so making him stay closer to home does not necessarily mean that he is going to be more available.
And the poster who spoke about air travel is right. When my brother and I were both in school, I could make it home from Houston to CT faster than he could get from upstate New York to CT.
If it were me, I would feel obligated to go close to home if my mom pressured me to, since my parents were paying. But I would not have been as happy.</p>