My parents say I have to apply to 3-5 more schools

Parents Forum
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<p>I already completely typed this out and then it disappeared when I clicked submit. </p>

<p>Basically, my dad has told me I have to apply to 3-5 more competitive schools. Apparently, he had a couple of schools that he really wanted me to just try to get in to, and feels I have not applied to schools that would be better fits for me. And he found out that it is not too late to apply, some schools have Jan 15 deadlines. My mom looked up the schools my dad wants me to apply to, and found out which ones are still taking applications. Later, my mom told me I don't really have to apply, but that she thinks I should, AND, that she would like to see me maybe consider some more liberal schools. She thinks all the schools I have gotten in to are rather conservative and I might not be able to spread my wings as much as I want to or should.</p>

<p>I know if I didn't bother with the applications, I would not get in trouble. My dad would just be disappointed. So I will go ahead and do it. I hate that he is wasting his money. I doubt I will get in to any of the schools he is suggesting.</p>

<p>My stats are ... SAT 2100 ... 640R, 740M, 720W (I have a hearing issue)</p>

<p>SAT 2... Math 2- 780 , French 580 (big mistake! and I took it with not enough time to retake, very big mistake, I wish I could do the last year over, I made so many mistakes)</p>

<p>Several Honor societies (NHS, Mu Alpha Theta, French, Science, English), in Varsity and City orchestras, and have extensive volunteer work. </p>

<p>My dad is insisting that I at least submit to Wellesley (not interested in an all girls school), Harvey Mudd (technically not accepting applications, but when I called, they said they still are taking them. I am doubting this as it is not on their website) and to consider these schools: Swarthmore, Haverford, Carleton, St Olaf. </p>

<p>Any suggestions? It seems that some schools who had Jan 1 deadlines have extended to Jan 15. I really think all these schools will reject me anyway. But I am going to do this anyway.</p>

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<p>If you have the time, and want to make your dad happy (nice!) apply and see what happens. You don’t have to make any decisions until acceptances/rejections are in.</p>

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<p>I think it is a nice thing for you to do to apply to the schools just because your parents asked you to (parents like being able to brag that their kid got into Ivy U even if they didn’t go). I have asked my D to apply to a stretch school (and one that she is totally not interested in attending). So she said she would (she’s pretty easy going and I think she has already almost decided on a school). So if the deadline is not past, go ahead and apply. My D is also considering a couple of all girls schools (even though she is not ‘feeling’ the all girls thing) and so off we go for a visit to one in March.</p>

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<p>Because your parents are willing to pay and have a better idea of the big picture than we do, I’d say apply to a few. It would help to know where you’ve already applied and what you’d like to study. Also, what you are looking for in a school.</p>

<p>When ds1 was applying I instituted a “parental prerogative” school – a Common App school (so not that much more work) that I thought would be great for him. I chose Carleton because 1) I thought it was the perfect fit for him, and 2) I wanted to show him I was serious about being OK with him applying to schools that were far away. I felt like he was limiting himself geographically. Long story short, he’ll graduate from Carleton this year and has loved his time there.</p>

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<p>Youdon’tsay, my parental prerogative is Michigan State. WAY too big for her. Columbia College in SC is the women’s college. She’s MEH but we’ll visit. We’re in state for MSU so we’ll see how that pans out financially and if she can get in but I’d like her to try to get in (doesn’t have to go though).</p>

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<p>Olaf looks like a match. Most of the rest are more reachy, but not impossible - your scores are on the low end of the middle 50th %ile of the class. If you can recycle most of your previous applications why not apply to a few and see what happens.</p>

<p>While taking the French subject test was probably not your wisest move, that’s not a bad score for someone who has only studied it in an American high school. The problem with the language tests, is as you realize now, most people don’t take them unless they are pretty confident that they’ll get very good scores.</p>

<p>I’d caution you (or rather your Dad) that my son who was in the top 2% of his class and had 1570/1600 SAT scores was waitlisted at Harvey Mudd.</p>

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<p>cmg, once ds started investigating Carleton, he fell in love so I switched my parental prerogative to Tulane! lol I knew it gave good merit aid but would it be enough? It was not. Also, ds1 had almost exclusively tiny LACs or giant state Us. I thought Tulane would be a nice mid-sized school. Also, I’d never been to New Orleans so I thought this would be a good chance to visit. Once the money came in we knew it wasn’t doable so I still haven’t been to New Orleans! Couldn’t get ds2 to bite. ;)</p>

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<p>Do any of these schools appeal to you at all? Are your parents going to agree to fund the cost of sending you to these schools without aid? (I don’t think applying for parental bragging rights is worth the effort.) If not, then maybe apply to one (it’s that parents’ perogative school) and call it a day.</p>

<p>Harvey Mudd may want more female applicants. The admittance rate for girls is about 3x (37%) that for boys (12%). I don’t know what that says about your particular case - your scores are low for them but the school puts more emphasis on essay, LOR, course rigor and grades than rank or scores.</p>

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<p>Most of the schools did appeal to me. But after I did not get in to my ED choice, I realize I am not as good a candidate as I thought I was. I already interviewed with Harvey Mudd and thought that went well. I really like Harvey Mudd too. Even if I could have gotten in to HM previously, I am guessing that they are not really accepting late applications. The person who answered the phone at the admissions office said they are. But I do not think I spoke to an actual admissions counselor and their website is not reflecting that. I am guessing they might just say, fine, we will take your app, your money isn’t going to hurt us, but we won’t accept someone who could not get it in on time. The only reason I think I could have had a shot at Harvey Mudd, not a huge one, but a shot, is that I am female. Plus, no one in my area seems to apply there. I am not sure if that is a help as I am from a very large state.</p>

<p>I had started to like Carleton and think I could really fit in there. But then they had a “polar vortex” this past week. I do not even own thick clothes or boots or anything else. I am worried how I will feel about the weather when it happens. I definitely did not like it when it hit the teens here for temperatures this past week. That weather is rare here. Let alone the below zero temps Minnesota gets.</p>

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<p>I think if her parents are willing to fund the additional applications then of course she should apply - I would and have done things simply because my parents asked me to. So has my daughter. She might end up considering a college she hadn’t thought of (I don’t think you know whether the college will appeal to you if you don’t consider it). it’s most definitely worth the effort (even if only for parental bragging right). It’s a considerate thing to do (which she’s already agreed to do). My kid did an additional year of band because I asked her to.</p>

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<p>undecided, there is a GREAT thread on here somewhere about warm weather kid applying to grad schools in the northern states, check that out. Yes it was cold up here (Michigan) but this was an extremely unusual experience so don’t let this past week be the deciding factor.</p>

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<p>Apply. My d had her schools, and I added a few like schools just in case. She got deferred from “her” school, accepted into my choice, and when we went to visit she decided she liked it more than the original! </p>

<p>Now that acceptances are coming in she’s happy I found “sister” schools for comparison. </p>

<p>They’re not saying you have to go, they just want you to have some more options.</p>

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<p>Maybe your parents are picking up on what I am in your post: “But after I did not get in to my ED choice, I realize I am not as good a candidate as I thought I was.” Don’t let that one data point be a driving decision. Just because one school turns you down ED doesn’t mean you aren’t a great candidate for any number of schools!</p>

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<p>I didn’t insist on either of our daughters applying to any school, except our state flagship as their ultimate safety. I think it just creates a difficult dynamic when parents do this. What if the parent pressures the student to apply to school X, the student does so grudgingly just to appease the parent, then the student is accepted at both school X and school Y, the school the student really wants to attend? Or worse, the student is accepted at X with a more attractive FA offer than school Y? That just sets up another, and potentially more difficult, round of conflict between parent and student.</p>

<p>I understand that for some families, FA is and must be an overriding consideration, and students are not always realistic about what’s financially possible. So in my view, it’s perfectly legitimate for a parent to insist on a school that’s affordable over one that’s not. But in our household, parental bragging rights are just not a legitimate consideration in any of this. We were very clear with our daughters that we would pay for any school we could reasonably afford, which would not necessarily be the school with the lowest net cost–provided that certain minimum educational quality standards would be met, but we and our daughters had no difficulty seeing eye-to-eye on that question. Choosing a college is for many students the first major “adult” decision the student gets to make. Parents should help set some parameter, but within those (reasonably wide) parameters, it’s a decision that the student, not the parent, should make.</p>

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<p>Firstly, none of the schools in question are Ivies. Secondly, I find it strange that you persist in implying that the OP’s parents are only after bragging rights when YOU, of course, were not when you made the same request of your kid!</p>

<p>OP, apply. The one sure way to not get in is to not apply. While you are not a shoo-in at any of these places, you may well have a reasonable chance at some of them, depending on the other parts of your application. When April rolls around, it will be nice to have choices.</p>

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<p>I didn’t sense any conflict and TOTALLY disagree that adding an additional choice of colleges sets up conflict between parent and student - which isn’t necessary a bad thing anyway, my D and I don’t always agree about everything and a certain amount of conflict is healthy. It doesn’t sound like they said she HAS to attend - just apply, please. It’s no different than asking the kid to apply to the parent’s alma mater. (You don’t need to go but please apply). The kid doesn’t even sound begrudging about it and didn’t mention net cost or financial aid issue (I’d be interested to hear what the parents can pay).</p>

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<p>It doesn’t matter if none of the schools are Ivies, that was a bit of sarcasm that apparently you didn’t pick up on. Could be Ivy U, could be State U, directional U, it’s “U that my kid didn’t apply to” in this case, consolation. Lighten up. Yes, apply, OP (like I said in my original post).</p>

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<p>I’d suggest that you apply, as time & energy permits, starting with the most likely admission. And I agree w/ what mathmom said (i.e. - Olaf first).</p>

<p>Oh, and must you submit the French score if it’s not required and doesn’t enhance your application?</p>

<p>As regards parent/student ‘conflict’, I think that’s mostly illusory. There’s a lot to be said for augmenting one’s options. I had to ‘strongly encourage’ expatSon to apply to some schools – and one of those is now a leading candidate.</p>

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<p>I never said anywhere in my post that I wasn’t after bragging rights in asking my D to apply. *******.</p>

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<p>Five schools you say you aren’t interested in seems a little excessive but I would discuss with your parents the pros and cons of each of these schools, and come up with two or three to apply to. If you feel strongly about not going to a women’s school, then don’t waste everyone’s time and money. Just because they came up with this list doesn’t mean they will try to force these schools on you when decision time comes. Maybe they’re just nervous about having enough choices, maybe they feel you haven’t given a fair appraisal to those schools and would like it better if you visited or just learned more about it.</p>