<p>Okay, so I don't hate it. But I am very frustrated right now, and I'm taking it out on the big H.</p>
<p>My dad is forcing me to apply to Harvard. They sent me a big fancy packet with an application over the summer, and he's been on me ever since demanding that I fill it out. There is absolutely no possible way that I will get into Harvard -- my transcript most assuredly bars me from even for a second being considered for admission.</p>
<p>I am fine with this.</p>
<p>My dad's 53 and the non-involved type. He's not at all familiar with modern college admissions. I tried to explain that Harvard only accepts like 7 percent of applicants and -- he literally blew up at me: "A homeless girl got into Harvard." Clearly, there is no logic behind that sentiment, but he doesn't know that. I've won some national awards and my test scores aren't bad, and I get a ton of mail (who doesn't?), and we're minorities, and so he's convinced that I'll get in. The badgering is CONSTANT. "Have your teachers filled out the forms yet?" "Not yet." (Because oops, I lied and told him I'd given them the recs...) And another thing -- I'm planning on applying to NYU ED...</p>
<p>Obviously, everything's about to come crashing down.</p>
<p>What is the best way to let my dad know how ridiculous applying to Harvard would be? Do you think I should just suck up and do it even though my rejection is guaranteed? The thing is, I REALLY want to apply to NYU ED. What if they accept me in December and that tosses all the Harvard nonsense out the window? How do I even EXPLAIN to him that NYU's the school I'm applying early to when he's so obsessed with Harvard? We don't have a very good communication system =/</p>
<p>OP,
Do you know whether you can afford NYU? Be sure you figure that out in advance.</p>
<p>Harvard takes the common app, so it really won’t require much extra effort on your part to submit an application in order to please your father.</p>
<p>The thing is, I REALLY want to apply to NYU ED</p>
<p>Am assuming you don’t need financial aid.
However, if you feel you could be admitted to NYU ,why do you think Harvard is impossible?
They aren’t necessarily that far apart in admittance rates.</p>
<p>If Harvard takes the common app, and NYU I know takes the common app, why not just apply to Harvard via the common app? You don’t need to do one a whole separate application and your teachers can use the same recommendations. Easy to make him happy that you at least applied. And hey, what’s the harm? If you’re not going to get in anyway it won’t make a difference.</p>
<p>There are many parents who think their kids “deserve” to go to Harvard. Don’t waste your time trying to convince him otherwise, because you’ll just be putting yourself down. Who needs that? Instead, tell him you’ll apply to Harvard after you first apply to NYU. (Likely for you, H doesn’t even offer ED). You’ll also need to investigate other schools on your list. So what that H is one of your “reach” schools. </p>
<p>Your dad thinks this is his way of being involved. Let him. Once he gets at all involved in what’s really involved in choosing the “right fit”, he may back off.</p>
<p>If you are accepted at NYU ED (good luck!) you have to pay your deposit in three weeks. Better have the argument now, so that by the time your NYU acceptance comes, if it does, you are ready to come up with the money.</p>
<p>NYU is notorious for their stingy aid. Will that be a problem for your family?</p>
<p>I believe that parents have to sign the ED agreement so the dad will most likely find out. OP have you not told your parents that you want to apply somewhere ED? Do you understand what ED entails? Do your parents?</p>
<p>From your post, it seems like your father just wants you to apply to H; you don’t mention he might be opposed to you applying ED elsewhere. Frankly, if my S had received an application from H, I would be insisting he fill it too, just in case his ED school didn’t accept him. If you’re accepted ED, you just send H an email saying you’re withdrawing. Explain this to your dad, saying you would rather apply ED to NYU, where you have a better chance, and that you don’t want to sacrifice a more realistic opportunity for a very slim one. Parents understand risk fairly well, believe me.</p>
<p>“A homeless girl got into Harvard.”
That brought a smile to my face too (still smiling). Keep your sense of humor!
Your dad loves you–he sees Harvard as the best, and you’re his daughter, so you deserve the best–see? Logic!
Is it a big deal to throw them an app?</p>
<p>The OP is a talented writer who will be NMSF and possibly NMF. She’s an URM from a geographically desireable state. She loves NYU and Hampshire, but her family’s EFC is 0. NYU doesn’t meet full need; not sure about Hampshire but they state upfront that their FA packages include loans. </p>
<p>girlcanDISCO, what you need is a new list of schools to fall in love with. Start a new thread with some of those descriptors in the title, asking people for help in figuring out schools that will give you money. There definitely will be such schools. Check into the schools that give big money for NMF. Hampshire DOES have a NMF four year scholarship, so check with them to see if you’d be a contender. </p>
<p>For NYU, apply RD when you can have some other aid packages in hand from other schools. If you apply ED, you may get in, but you won’t be able to afford it. Given what you’ve said about your Dad, there’s no way in the world that he will sign off on the ED application. RD is truly going to be a better choice for you.</p>
<p>Like others said, apply to Harvard to appease your Dad. You don’t have to put any effort into the application, but he doesn’t have to know that. </p>
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</p>
<p>williamsdad, using Harvard as a safety school? :)</p>
<p>Just imagine this…NYU is stingy with aid and Harvard is not. It would not hurt to send some applications to the more generous schools that will meet your EFC. Have you done an EFC calculation yet? You should do this before you consider applying to NYU ED because you may be one of those kids looking to get out of their ED agreement.</p>
<p>I agree RD is much better- I would also suggest applying to at least one school ( in your interest) that has rolling admissions, it is so nice to already have an acceptance under your belt when you are finishing up your other applications.</p>
<p>Remember that by applying ED, you are telling the school " I don’t care what kind of financial aid package I get, because I want to go to this school so bad I will make whatever you offer work". ED takes away the schools incentive to offer an enticing financial aid package- NYU is the * last school*, you want to say that to.</p>
<p>Harvard at least is pretty generous with need based aid.</p>
<p>I completely agree that NYU ED is not a realistic choice for you, simply because of FA. Elsewhere you asked about filling out the FAFSA by yourself. That strikes a warning bell to me. You need to have your parents’ cooperation and consent to apply for financial aid. Do not even think about forging their signatures on ED and FA forms, even if you could gather the necessary financial info by yourself!</p>
<p>Your GPA is indeed low for a school like Harvard. You do have other things going for you, though. Slithey Tove’s advice in post #12 is excellent. You need to develop a good list that will result in your having choices in May. Please give up this idea of NYU ED and find some other schools to balance your list.</p>
<p>It’s not that it’s a big deal to throw an app at Harvard necessarily … the issue is bigger, about parental expectations that are unrealistic and overly focused on the kid’s worth being based on the caliber of university accepted at. THAT’s the real issue here.</p>
<p>It would be insane to apply to NYU ED if you need a lot of fin aid. And no one should ever apply ED anywhere without full parental approval and understanding of the consequences.</p>
<p>OP, if you do get into Harvard (which is not impossible, especially for a high-stat gifted writer URM), it may well prove to be your best option financially. They are very generous with fin aid, and their no loan policy is very important for someone with a lot of need.</p>
<p>This is part of the problem. Harvard sends out (tens of?) thousands of three-page letters with applications to potential applicants based on PSAT scores in a super-powered marketing push. There have been long discussions on CC about why Harvard does this. Many recipients and their parents, like the OP’s father don’t realize how little has gone into targeting their kids and think it means much more than it does. The OP seems to have a realistic perspective as to the significance of the app in the mail and her real chances. At least if she does decide to apply, her expectations are not raised too high, but I can understand her wanting to bring down her father’s.</p>
<p>I agree that NYU ED makes no sense if financial aid is needed.</p>
<p>Shocking news! Maybe a father isn’t as clueless as his daughter thinks!</p>
<p>OP, I join with everyone else here. It’s completely unreasonable on your part to resist applying to Harvard. No one likes to be rejected – and you may be rejected – but you seem like a bona fide candidate, and if you get in Harvard is likely to be a better financial option than NYU. In addition, if your ideal college is NYU, Harvard is one of the few places that is actually competitive with that. Its location in Cambridge is about as similar as you are going to find anywhere to NYU’s environment in Greenwich Village, its writing programs are pretty much second to none (although not as hyped as other colleges’ programs), its English faculty among the best anywhere. It is full of diverse, super-creative people, and it has a legitimate pipeline to writing jobs in journalism and entertainment.</p>
<p>Pretty much the only reason for you NOT to apply to Harvard is that you are scared of rejection, or perhaps you are afraid that it will be too snobby. Given the advantages it would hold for you, those are not terribly good reasons.</p>
<p>By the way, I have seen NYU be very competitive with financial aid for a $0 EFC student it wanted, especially when there WAS competition from a high-prestige college and NYU had a chance for a win. So the OP could wind up at NYU. But applying ED isn’t the way to go there unless she pretty much has a guarantee of loan-free aid if accepted.</p>
<p>^^^ Oh, I know. My S received one of those, and he wasn’t accepted, much to his discontent. I would still ask my S to apply if it were to happen again; there isn’t much to lose. Believe it or not, I was the realistic one when it came to Harvard; my S had high hopes.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl:</p>
<p>I would change the word “expectations” with the word “hopes” in your post, #17. Many (maybe most) of us don’t think our kid’s worth is based on the caliber of the university our kids are accepted at. I certainly didn’t.</p>
Using it as a parent-appeasing school.</p>