My parents won't help me pay for college?

Paying for College
1

<p>Exactly what the title says. I'm on my own, financially. I think my parents just don't have much perspective. My dad never went to college (barely passed high school) though he does have a great work ethic and makes a decent salary. So he thinks college is a waste. And my mom thinks that since she had to pay for college on her own, I should too - even though she dropped out after 2 years because she couldn't afford it, whereas I'm looking at a bachelors + med school!</p>

<p>I don't think they're trying to be heartless or teach me a lesson - they just don't think they should help me pay. They have two other kids to put through college, too, but that's really their only reason. They aren't divorced. I'm not financially independent. We aren't terribly poor. I fear that I won't get much financial aid because my family's doing just fine, and I have no money saved for college, no prepaid, no 529 plan...</p>

<p>And it's not like I want them to help me pay for community college or a local university. I'm talking out of state, selective, science major and then med school. How am I going to do this with no help from my parents?? I really don't know much about how financial aid works (I'm 16, I have some time yet) but I'm panicking already.</p>

2

<p>What is your GPA? What standardized tests have you taken and how did you score?. With no financial help from your parents you are going to have to get by cheaply, commute to local options, or get large merit aid if you have the stats. You can only borrow $5500-$7500 each year over your 4 years on your own. And if med school is on the radar you don’t want much if any undergrad debt, you’ll have plenty of debt for med school. You don’t need to go to an OOS, selective school to get into med school. You just have to perform very well wherever you wind up for undergrad.</p>

3

<p>Well, you don’t need to worry about med school now. </p>

<p>Right now, you need to focus on getting scholarships for college.</p>

<p>You need the highest stats you can…best GPA…best test scores. Are you a junior? If so, are you taking the PSAT soon? You need the best score you can get. Can you get a SAT practice book to use before the PSAT? </p>

<p>You don’t need to go out-of-state for undergrad. NOT NECESSARY…especially not necessary for premed. </p>

<p>What is your home state? </p>

<p>Sounds like your family has a good income, but won’t contribute. That means that you need merit scholarships based on your stats. The best ones are from the colleges that give them.</p>

4

<p>Have you considered the military? There are the 5 service academies, or ROTC, or just joining and going to college after on the GI bill. Are you good at any sports that might get you a partial scholarship? Other talents? </p>

<p>There are also the schools, pinned above, that offer full merit to those with the right scores and grades. You are right to be thinking your aren’t going to get FA because you probably won’t if your parents make a middle class living. You should look more kindly upon your instate publics too.</p>

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<p><<<<
I’m a junior in high school looking to major in biology and later go to medical school. I’m a Florida resident and I live near USF. Up until this year, I thought USF Tampa was the place for me. It’s 20 minutes away and I’m pretty much guaranteed a decent scholarship + Bright Futures. Once I improve my SAT score (by just ten points!) I will meet all the requirements for a presidential award from USF, the highest level admissions scholarship. If I got that, plus Bright Futures, I’d basically be going to school for free.</p>

<p>But the more I think about it, the less I want to stay in Florida. I know that staying in Florida will be much easier on me financially and my parents really want me to live at home. But I want to challenge myself. I want to go to a more prestigious school and I feel like that isn’t really an option if I stay in Florida. Also, I dislike Florida in general, and it’s not like I want to have my career + life here, but out-of-state tuition is a lot more expensive than, well, going to USF on a scholarship.</p>

<p>Extra info:
SAT: 2100 (670 math, 710 writing, 720 reading) - retaking this soon to improve everything, esp. math
ACT: haven’t taken it yet, but I expect at least a 30
GPA- 4.0 unweighted, 4.5 weighted
Extracurriculars: math honor society, school newspaper
Major: biology, like I said (pre-med)
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<p>You may need to stay in FL if your parents won’t pay their “family contribution”. However, with good stats, you could end up with a good merit scholarship. </p>

<p>FL is a big state. Just because you may not like Tampa area doesn’t mean that there aren’t other areas in FL that are VERY different. </p>

<p>FL has some very good schools. If those end up being your affordable options, then don’t dismiss them.</p>

<p>IF YOUR GOAL is truly med school, then don’t trip yourself up by giving yourself hurdles that will trip you up.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/”>http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/&lt;/a&gt; indicates that your stats (if you keep the GPA up) will give you nice scholarships (full tuition to full ride) at some schools (these can be safety candidates). In addition, there are also competitive full tuition to full ride scholarships at various schools that you can try for. Higher test scores can add more schools to this list.</p>

<p>If you do well enough on the PSAT to pass the National Merit threshold, then you have additional schools with automatic and competitive large scholarships available to consider.</p>

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<p>“They have two other kids to put through college, too, but that’s really their only reason” They’re putting the “two other kids through college”, but not you? Or does that “too” mean they ARE putting you through college?</p>

<p>So they are saying you can continue living at home, and go to a local state school, right, and they’ll provide you the same amenities that you are getting now, like food, a place to live, etc. but you have to pay for the tution? Then that means you go to a local state schools. With BF, and the Direct loans plus if you have some money saved and get a part time job, you are set. Other ideas are given to you here that you can also try, and that way get to go away to school.</p>

<p>What your parents are telling you, IMO, is that they are strapped as it is keeping up with expenses the way you all are living right now and taking care of those needs, and there isn’t anything they can carve out of their income to pay for college and they have not saved and they don’t want to borrow. </p>

8

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<p>Um…think about this. You actually might have more success discussing college financing with your parents if you were discussing affordable options like your instate public universities, and possibly community college. But no…you are discussing OOS section options that could run $60,000 a year…and then medical school which could be $300,000 total. </p>

<p>I think you need to be much more realistic and aware of your family finances. You are asking your family to support you in costs that are NOT affordable for them.</p>

<p>You reside in Florida. You look to be eligible for a high level of Bright Futures. You have no idea how lucky you are that your state offers this program.</p>

<p>Start looking in your state at affordable programs…and places where you might garner merit aid as well.</p>

9

<p>Welcome to the club. Despite the feeling you’ll get here on CC, lots of people’s parents don’t pay for college. I know several. My parents aren’t paying anything, but they are gracious enough to let me stay at home for the first four years. Consider yourself blessed that you live near a college and will be able to go there for almost free. I am in the same situation and quite frankly, it is NOT the end of the world. I’m very happy that my parents will not be financially burdened and that I will not graduate with debt. Truly, my parents could never afford to pay the EFC for my two brothers and I, let alone pay for everything outright. And because they, like I, don’t believe debt is a sound decision, they will allow us to live at home. My family, too, missed all need-based aid. At U Chicago I would have been fully paid for if my father made $2000 less dollars a year. (Although I didn’t want to go there anyway…) So I totally get the whole “we aren’t rich and we aren’t poor” scenario.</p>

<p>P.S. It IS possible to pay your way through college if you’re commuting and working. My mother did (small scholarship), my older brother is (no scholarship), I am (>full tuition scholarship), and my younger brother will soon begin (he’s probably going to start at a community college). My dad had some help from his parents, but I really can’t see how they afforded it with 3 children, since my grandfather worked at a factory. I guess that I’m trying to say that every family has unique financial abilities, and you shouldn’t begrudge your parents theirs. I get the feeling that they still really want you to go to college and pursue your dreams. :)</p>

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<p>Strange sentence. What do you mean? From your first post, it sounds like they aren’t going to put anyone thru college. Perhaps what you meant to say is: I have 2 younger siblings and my parents aren’t going to put any of us through college. We are all on our own.</p>

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<p>@thumper1 Bright Futures has been scaled back considerably. The top award is roughly $100 per credit hour, or $2400-3000 per year. This is probably just a little more than half tuition. Add fees, housing, meal plan, books, and other expenses, and Bright Futures seems like a drop in the bucket.</p>

<p>@Rationale You have great grades and very strong scores. You have options! </p>

<p>1- Check the automatic full tuition/full ride thread. </p>

<p>2- You’re going to take the PSAT next week. Spend some time working on Math problems this weekend. This year’s National Merit Semifinalists needed only a 211 to qualify. You’re in range! UCF has an awesome scholarship for Finalists (although offers change from year to year). Check out the NMF thread for more options out of state.</p>

<p>3- Check out the competitive scholarship thread. Most awardees seem to have amazing ECs, but perhaps you’ll find something that you want to take a chance on outside of Florida. </p>

<p>4- Finally, USF is a respectable school. If you really want to go to med school, then you’re going to need excellent grades and test scores. That should be easier to accomplish at a school where you will be closer to the top of the heap. Also, since USF has a whole medical complex, it should be easier to get some associated extracurriculars there. You can always look outside of Florida when you apply to med school, if you still feel the desire to leave. As you know, USF has some nice merit scholarships. Make sure to apply for the Ventures Scholars Program online - I believe USF offers an additional $500 per year for this (you qualify as long as neither parent has attained a degree). It’s not a lot, but it will help with books or other incidentals. Also look into the Kosove Society Scholarship at USF (which is very competitive). </p>

<p>Good luck and don’t worry! I hope you’ll come back in 18 months or so and tell us about all of your great offers and let us know your final decision.</p>

12

<p>Might as well try for private scholarships as well. ■■■■■ and Peterson’s have a pretty good scholarship finder…just noticed a $1,000 scholarship open up at zoomita dotcom…lots of options there. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Bright Futures may not be as much as it used to be, but a student with strong stats can add that award to a good-but-lesser Florida public with merit, a small student loan, a summer job, and get costs covered.</p>

<p>Florida has med schools at a few publics and some of those give merit to strong stats as incoming undergrads.</p>

<p>If the student is SERIOUS about med school, then THAT is the goal. To create unnecessary hurdles that could trip up one’s future is very short-sighted.</p>

<p>The OP needs to deal with his situation and make the best of it. He has parents with a good income that won’t contribute anything. Unless he gets a near free ride OOS at a school better than the FL publics (unlikely), then a FL public is where he needs to go.</p>

<p>First apply to all the FL schools that have med schools AND will give good merit for your stats…off the top of my head: UCF, USF, FIA, FAU…and maybe FSU (but not sure if FSU gives much instate merit). </p>

<p>Any school that has a med school is going to be fine for premed. Besides, when you have unhelpful parents, you have to “fast forward” a few years and consider what other obstacles you’ll be facing. Applying to med schools is VERY expensive . Also, TRAVELING for med school interviews is expensive. You’ll be applying to ALL of the FL med schools, so it is easier/cheaper to travel when you’re already in the state. If all things are equal, then choose an undergrad that is located around the middle of the state.</p>

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<p>@Rationale‌ </p>

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<p>But the more I think about it, the less I want to stay in Florida. I know that staying in Florida will be much easier on me financially and my parents really want me to live at home. But I want to challenge myself. I want to go to a more prestigious school and I feel like that isn’t really an option if I stay in Florida. Also, I dislike Florida in general, and it’s not like I want to have my career + life here, but out-of-state tuition is a lot more expensive than, well, going to USF on a scholarship.</p>

<p>Extra info:
SAT: 2100 (670 math, 710 writing, 720 reading) - retaking this soon to improve everything, esp. math
ACT: haven’t taken it yet, but I expect at least a 30
GPA- 4.0 unweighted, 4.5 weighted
Extracurriculars: math honor society, school newspaper
Major: biology, like I said (pre-med)</p>

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<p>You have a 1380 M+CR. If you increase your score, not only will you get the higher level of BF, but if you get a 1400+, then likely the FL publics that I mentioned earlier will give you large merit to stack on top of BF.</p>

<p>My son’s orthopedic surgeon went to FIU for undergrad and he went to Duke for med school. Then he did his residency at the Mayo Clinic. You can go far even if you don’t go to “name” undergrad. It’s up to YOU. You have to get the grades and MCAT score. Med schools don’t care where you went to undergrad.</p>

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<p>Florida A&M will be a free ride for the OP if s/he maintains at least a 3.50 HS GPA to go with the 2100 SAT.
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No medical school, although students from colleges without medical schools do go to medical school.</p>

<p>Note that pre-med does not require any specific undergraduate major. About half of applicants and matriculants to medical school had primary undergraduate majors other than biology.</p>

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<p>Yes, it is fine if the undergrad doesn’t have a med school. I was only suggesting undergrads with med schools since the OP seems to distrust the quality of FL schools. </p>

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<p>@cptofthehouse @mom2collegekids‌
Yes, that was a strangely worded sentence. I meant to say that I have two younger siblings that will someday go to college, and they aren’t at the age where they need to worry about college yet, but it is safe to assume that if my parents won’t help me pay for college, they will not do much for my siblings. The phrasing “they have two other kids to put through college” should have been “they aren’t helping me out because if they did, they would have to help my siblings as well, and it would be a lot more expensive than if I’d been an only child.”</p>

<p>I know I do tend to have a negative view of Florida schools, and they’re perfectly fine, perhaps more than fine (people around here absolutely rave about USF) but my true desire is to go out of state and I’m just feeling a bit discouraged and upset that this probably cannot happen for me, simply because my parents won’t contribute. They want me to do great things but they will not enable me in anyway. I basically made this thread because I feel as though most parents do help their kids through college at least a little, and because I was wondering if there was a reasonable chance that I could still go to a better, out-of-state school without drowning in debt for half my life…</p>

<p>If it is true that medical schools do not “care” where applicants went for their undergrad degrees, then I feel a little better about basically being stuck with FL schools. I would love to go out of state at some point so I suppose I should save that for medical school and get my degree at USF or something. USF is my safety and I have a decent shot at a nice collection of scholarships that will really help me out financially if I go there. It’s just that the schools I desire the most are all outside of Florida. Oh well. I can’t do anything about that if my parents just don’t want to pay.</p>

<p>As an aside, I know I’ve made multiple threads in short succession; one about FL, one about this, and another which I don’t recall right now. It’s just that I have been lurking around CC for quite a while but decided to finally make my own account to ask my own questions, of which I have many.</p>

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<p>Your parents do not HAVE to pay for your siblings just because they pay for you,and they may end up paying for your siblings, but not you. It often comes down to whether there is any money to spare when parents won’t pay.</p>

<p>You are going to public school right now, aren’t you? And not boarding, but living at home? So why do you think your parents will spring for private or “away” school when you get to college age? The average college student is in his/her mid 20s and working full or part time as s/he chips away at getting those credits, paying for it little by little. It’s a luxury when parents pay for other options and quite the feat for kids to get into schools that will make free or close to it.
It’s like saying you wish your parents would move to NYC or Boston, and you go to private school. That’ s not your family.</p>

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<p>@cptofthehouse‌
See, that’s what I mean - I always thought it was standard for parents to pay, at least in part, for their kids’ college. I guess I really don’t have any perspective. Many, many of my friends are starting off better than I am, financially. Some of them have Florida prepaid, some are being looked at by coaches from colleges (unlike many of my friends, I am not athletic), some have grandparents putting away money for them every year, and some are being helped quite generously by their parents. This is why I have been panicking about the fact that I am starting from square one with money. I always figured that my parents would help out until recently when, in a very casual conversation (I’ve not talked -very- seriously with them yet), they said they had no plans of paying for anything for me.</p>

<p>Thank you, everyone, for educating me. I really appreciate it :slight_smile: I guess I’ve just grown up among middle/upper-middle class families and come to think that was the “norm” but really, my “wealthier-than-my-middle-class-family” friends are not at all a good standard to compare my, or anyone else’s, financial situation to…</p>

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<p>You can look at all your friends and feel sorry for yourself, but it won’t help. You actually have a lot going for you - you live near USF, a wonderful school which you’ve said would be free to you after scholarships and bright futures. Your parent will support you. Yep, you won’t be able to afford to go to Tennessee or UCLA or Brown, but you have a good opportunity. Yep, many kids are gifted athletes or have Prepaid or a 529 plan, but many many many more do not have anything.</p>

<p>It’s good that you are planning. When you get the info on a few schools, present it to your parents in a way they can understand what you need. They may not understand how the financial aid works. I didn’t. I had to educate myself and then my kids. Instead of saying “hey, can you give me $10000?” can you ask them to start saving a little now, and a little every month you are in school? If they get used to saving $200-500/mo for school, it will become a habit and easier. Learn about the tax benefits and ask if you have have the $2500 tax credit (if they get it) to use for sophomore year. Show them all the things you are doing to pay for college, all the things you are doing to save costs, all the sources you are using for scholarships. Drag them to the parents nights at your school. Drag them to college fairs. They’ll see what other parents are doing and ask questions. They’ll see that there are options and ways to help you. </p>