Parents forcing me to stay in NYC for college - NEED HELP!

<p>My parents just told me they're forcing me to stay in the New York City for college. They told me I have to commute from home to school, no residential life at all. They're too stubborn to listen to me and disregard everything I say. I can't deal with their crap anymore, not for the next four years. I worked extremely hard all throughout high school so I can study neuroscience at a prestigious institution out of the city, mainly because I need to get away from them. They make my life a living hell. I'm gonna turn 18 next year on July 25th.</p>

<p>I told my brother about this (who is 22) and he simply agreed with them. He said I need my dad's signature when I make my final decision for college and I'll be 17 then, so I'll still be considered a minor and he doubts my dad will provide the signature. Affording college is a different story, but I'm pretty confident that I'll get sufficient financial aid and merit scholarships to support my college tuition. I know that I need my parents tax forms every year in college to get financial aid and I don't think they are willing to supply me the information if I go out of city for college. I heard that it's their legal duty to provide me with the information until I'm 21. Can someone confirm that for me if it's true or not? And since I'm planning on doing work study, is it possible to use my own tax forms to receive financial aid?</p>

<p>I'm really upset at their decision. I'm extremely helpless, there's no one in my family willing to fight for me.I'm in this all alone so all the information I can get or anyone that I can contact that can help me is greatly appreciated. My top choices are Lehigh University, University of Richmond, and Trinity College. How do I get out of the city for college? Is there any legal issues that can help me or hurt me in this situation? Can they actually prevent me from going to a college of my choice simply because they refuse to give a signature? Please give me as much information as you can! Thank you so much!</p>

<p>Additional Information:
They are paying for the college tuition. HOWEVER, they are NOT willing to pay for college due to low income. So basically, if it came down to who is paying for the tuition, technically it'd be my parents but they aren't exactly willing to give the money, so it'd be me paying for my own tuition.</p>

<p>Apply to the schools that they want you to but also apply to schools that you like. I’d wait until you get financial aid packages back from the schools before you make this decision.</p>

<p>Slow down there. Breathe.</p>

<p>Now I have two questions.</p>

<p>1) Why do your parents want you to commute?
2) Why do you want to move out so badly?</p>

<p>Get emancipated. That way you don’t need your dad’s signature. Oh wait, I think you need your dad’s signature to do that o.o</p>

<p>Sounds like there are alot of emotions running high that may or may not have anything to do with college. I think you’re going to have to check the immature attitude if you have any hope of cutting through all of that. Lots and lots of kids face restrictions as they are pulling together a college list…restrictions based on money, on geography, etc. If you’re setting your sights on schools that cost 60K a year, you’re going to have to get your parents on board…and I think you’ll have a much better shot at doing that if your energy is put toward researching options and providing them with as much info as you can, rather than stomping up and down being “tired of their crap”.</p>

<p>*They are paying for the college tuition. HOWEVER, they are NOT willing to pay for college due to low income. * Which is it?</p>

<p>You need to look into what finaid is really about. Lehigh doesn’t meet full need and even those that do often leave you with a cost they feel is feasible for your family. Right now, this seems to be a conflict between what you “want” and what the reality is. Plenty of families need to have their kids shave costs.</p>

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<p>On an earlier thread, you say their income is around 15k. I don’t see how they can either pay or get loans. Have you run NPCs? Are you working and saving toward college costs? Most colleges expect you to make some contribution. Have you continued to do some vol work including outside the hs itself, in your local area?</p>

<p>It will be helpful in your dealings with them if you can be cooperative and act like a reasonable person, and open up lines of communication instead of making this a war.</p>

<p>First what is the reason they give why you need to stay home and commute? Is it financial? If so, you will need to show some net price calculators where the school won’t cost more than the local options. Have you worked on crunching the numbers to see if this is true?</p>

<p>Are they (and you) not open to SUNY schools?</p>

<p>And your last paragraph about who is paying makes no sense at all.</p>

<p>FYI - </p>

<p>Yes, they can prevent you from going to the college of your choice.</p>

<p>No, you can’t use your own tax forms only for financial aid. You must use your parents until you are 24 (excepting certain restrictions that don’t apply here)</p>

<p>If you can identify a college or university where you qualify for enough merit-based aid to cover all of your costs, you can attend it even if your parents don’t like the place. So go to the Financial Aid Forum, and read through the threads at the top on the subject of merit aid. Chances are that the places you like so much right now won’t be on those lists, but you may find some place far enough from home, and cheap enough for you to make the application worth your time and effort.</p>

<p>I don’t think we should suggest that OP completely leave for college without his parents’ support- and I’m not referring to financial support. Family ties are important, and we don’t know the full situation here.</p>

<p>If you have to stay in NYC… thank your lucky stars that it offers you some great options. First, check out Sophie Davis. [Sophie</a> Davis School of Biomedical Education - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophie_Davis_School_of_Biomedical_Education]Sophie”>CUNY School of Medicine - Wikipedia) </p>

<p>Check out Macaulay Honors. You MAY be eligible for housing there. If you are you could live in NYC, but in a dorm. [Macaulay</a> Honors College - Tuition and Support](<a href=“http://www.macaulay.cuny.edu/prospective-students/tuition.php]Macaulay”>http://www.macaulay.cuny.edu/prospective-students/tuition.php) This might be a compromise with your parents. </p>

<p>As far as I know, there’s no way you can legally compel your parents to provide their financial info so you can submit it for financial aid. If they don’t, you can’t get need based aid. You may still be eligible for merit scholarships, but not many include both tuition and room and board.</p>

<p>I note that you are Muslim. One way to go about trying to convince your parents to go away might be to check out the Muslim student organizations at colleges of interest to you. They might…MIGHT…be more willing to let you go if they were convinced you’d have a strong support group.</p>

<p>stressedouttt-
“1) Why do your parents want you to commute?
2) Why do you want to move out so badly?”</p>

<ol>
<li>They want me to commute because of two reasons:

<ul>
<li>they are extremely religious and believe that if I attend a school out of the city, they’ll lose control over me. This ties in with their belief that girls are inferior (my dad is sexist) and he believes I won’t be able to fend for myself. </li>
<li>finances </li>
</ul></li>
<li>I want to move out because they stress me out way too much. I’ve been dealing with family problems all throughout my junior year and it affected my performance in school and also resulted in multiple anxiety attacks.</li>
</ol>

<p>Do whatever you want. It’s your life.</p>

<p>Just understand that making your own decisions also means funding them yourself.</p>

<p>In response to your question: No, your parents are NOT legally obligated to provide you with their tax returns. And without them, you will be ineligible for financial aid.</p>

<p>And you need to understand that even if your able to get a full ride somewhere (tuition, housing, meals) based on merit alone, without consideration of your financial need, you would still have unpaid expenses (for example: books, mandatory health insurance, transportation to get back and forth to school, among many others). Oh yeah . . . and you’ll likely also have to come up with summer housing and food, if you’re really planning on defying your parents and doing this on your own.</p>

<p>So, like I said, do whatever you want. Just be prepared . . . it won’t be easy.</p>

<p>BrownParent- </p>

<p>I’ve looked into schools and their net price calculators. Some were reasonable, others not so much. </p>

<p>I am open to SUNY schools but I doubt my dad is. He is a stubborn man and it’s hard to communicate with him, it’s his opinion over everything else. He pretty much dictates the entire family. He said no schools out of New York City and if I decide to attend a school out of the city, he won’t support me and it’ll be entirely my responsibility. However, I doubt he meant that. His entire argument was “city school, period.” </p>

<p>In what way can they prevent me from attending the college of my choice? Please be as elaborate as possible. Thank you.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Read [my</a> post](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1530188-parents-forcing-me-stay-nyc-college-need-help.html#post16184278][b]my”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1530188-parents-forcing-me-stay-nyc-college-need-help.html#post16184278)! No parental cooperation, no financial aid. Game over.</p>

<p>They have to fill out or at least approve the financial aid forms. So without their cooperation, as dodgersmom says, there can’t be any financial aid. So that’s that, unless you want to find a way to pay for yourself and I don’t know if that means moving out, cutting off ties, working for a year or two to raise money or what.</p>

<p>You won’t be able to get financial aid based on your own income until you are 24. Exceptions are possible but extremely rare, like they are made for orphans, married people and wards of the state and that’s about it.</p>

<p>Your thoughts are scattered and confusing. They’re willing to pay for college then they’re not. THey’re willing to pay for a school in NYC but then you don’t think they meant it. You are attacking them…and expecting them to pay for your school. I’d start looking at CUNYs.</p>

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<p>I want them to cooperate but my parents are stubborn. They always get my older brother involved and he always takes sides with them. I understand that there are multiple other factors I need to take into consideration but this is my future that they’re toying around with for petty reasons like religious beliefs and sexism (not to insult anyone’s religious beliefs). I understand the financial restrictions, I can accept that as a reasonable argument. I’m just stuck, I don’t know what to do and how I can get them to cooperate. I contacted my guidance counselor and a few other adults for support so they can talk to my parents about this issue. That’s my best shot at this point. As for the finances, I’ll just have to figure that out on my own if I decide to leave.</p>

<p>Do you have any money saved up?</p>

<p>forge the signature!</p>

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<p>They’re not willing to pay BECAUSE they cannot afford to do so. They want me to stay in the city so they DON’T have to pay. They mean it. That’s what their argument is. Sorry for the confusion. It came out as if I was attacking because there were a lot of emotion running wild in my head. I have a shot at attending a decent school and there are opportunities out there for me. They’re making me waste it and I’m not taking that lightly.</p>