<p>Shinkrap, I certainly understand how your daughter would be overtired, overstressed, etc. on graduation day - why she was late, why she missed her cue. But I am assuming that the other seniors (or most of them) did manage to get there on time and sing on stage, even though they also were tired from the Hawaii trip. If that is the case, it really comes off as whining even though it might be a legitimate concern. If I am wrong, and a large number of seniors had the same problem, then it would be more appropriate for them to communicate their concerns as a group. </p>
<p>Again… I see why this was hard for your daughter, but I think the “big picture” simply leaves a sense that the overall consequence was minor and you only come off looking bad to register a complaint at this point. </p>
<p>The problem is… every kid who shows up late, any time, usually has an excuse. Every kid who misses their cue to go onstage, usually has an excuse. You’ve got a large number of seniors in the choir and an inexperienced choir director who may have gotten things wrong on her point scale (maybe it should be 100 out of 200 points, a C rather than an F)… but no real harm done to your daughter in the long run. Which is why I see this as one of those things to let go. It doesn’t mean that the teacher/choir director was 100% right … it’s just that its not worth complaining about after the fact. </p>
<p>Also, I’m not sure its the thing a MOM should be complaining about, anyway. Did your daughter apologize to the choir director at the time? I mean, a very gracious thing to do would have been to go to her immediately after the graduation and say, “Oh, I am sooo sorry! I really messed up.” (I think the fact that your d. missed the early rehearsal and the stage clue for that event kind of suggests that she planned to skip that part all along – so without an apology I can see the choir director being somewhat skeptical about the excuse now offered)</p>