<p>After taking orchestra for 3 years, DS opted for an AP class instead of orchestra in his senior year due to schedule conflict. Still, he joined a school ensemble (which meant going to zero hours twice a week) and became an occasional piano accompanist to the school orchestra (which meant missing his AP class whenever serious practice with the orchestra was necessary). </p>
<p>Last week, the ensemble performed in the band concert where all seniors (except my S) were recognized. In the program, the names of all seniors (except my S) were flagged. All seniors (except my S) were given boutonnieres to wear on their lapels for the evening. All seniors (except my S) stood up after their names were announced and were applauded by the audience. A special video of senior band members was shown. Naturally, my S felt totally out of place and uncomfortable about his status as an invisible senior. After the concert, some kids and parents asked him, arent you a senior?</p>
<p>S is scheduled to perform in the orchestra concert in a few weeks. He can see himself being invisible again while all the other seniors in the orchestra are similarly recognized. He doesnt want to attend this upcoming concert but feels trapped by the commitment he has already made. </p>
<p>Maybe the music teacher has simply forgotten about him. Maybe the school only recognizes those currently enrolled in the music classes. Still, if they ask him to join the performance, shouldnt they at least recognize his status as a senior? Are we being petty? </p>
<p>My S, a very laid back kid, thinks it is tacky to demand recognition from others. I hate to see my S go through another unpleasant experience just before graduation. Should I say something to the music teacher before the concert?</p>
<p>yes, of course, email this teacher and ask what the plan is for this next event. Tell the music teacher that you hope that your S will be recognized and to please let you know if he will not be. And shame on them!!!</p>
<p>I’m guessing it was an oversight due to your S’s unusual schedule. but your son needs to follow-up on this. Probably the video and other arrangements including compiling the list of seniors was done during orchestra class and the teacher simply forgot that your S was the one senior who was in ensemble, but not in orchestra. I think it would be easy for a teacher to make that mistake.</p>
<p>Our band program has a recognition night where the seniors are recognized. The program only flags students who are taking the band class in their senior year–no matter how many years they have been in the band. No recognition is given to kids who were in the program for 3 years and then quit their senior year.</p>
<p>Perhaps your S is caught in this trap. It is tacky to use him in the orchestra and not recognize him as a senior. It makes him seem like a hired hand.</p>
<p>Talk to the director. This year (junior) and next year I have schedule conflicts which mean that I do not have band as a class during the school day, but I attend after school rehearsals and am still fully part of the band; it all works out. Should be the same for your son.</p>
<p>I’m sorry that this happened. It should absolutely be brought up. While I agree that your S is the one who should do this, it is my experience that when the student is the one to point out something like this, he/she gets an offhand “sorry”. It is only when the parent gets involved that anyone really listens.</p>
<p>I think that any sensitive teacher would feel horrified to have made such a mistake (and I believe that what happened was unintentional), and swiftly would do whatever they could to correct it. Given that there’s no indication from the OP’s post that the teacher has been insensitive in general, I do think it was an oversight, not deliberate.</p>
<p>In a nonconfrontative way, someone – the mom, the son, a friend of the son, needs to let the teacher know as soon as possible so the oversight can be rectified, which considering there was a video may take some time. Since it’s the end of the year and everyone’s time is short, let the teacher know ASAP.</p>
<p>I agree that it was probably an oversight, but I am upset just reading about it! In your place, I would call the teacher. I would not leave it up to your son. He probably won’t say anything.</p>
<p>If it was me, I’d have emailed the teacher the next morning. I wouldn’t wait for my child to do it because he might chicken out. I’m not afraid to contact teachers.</p>
<p>I think the band/orchestra senior celebrations are over the top at our school. The idea that one senior would be omitted from recognition is appalling. No, you’re not being petty. He doesn’t have to attend the final orchestra concert if they are going to snub him, but it would be wrong to stay away without telling them why.</p>
<p>I will say that my church is just the opposite - deathly afraid of leaving anyone out. In any church there are the actual members, then there are non-members who may attend youth group,etc. So for “senior recognition” they had the seniors all sit together, then they had them stand up. That’s it…no reading or publishing of names…They are so afraid of leaving someone out that they basically do nothing.</p>
<p>Son volunteers his time AND IS AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE ENSEMBLE and is unrecognized. Students who are taking the class for a grade and therefore participation mandatory receive recognition. It’s probably protocol but it is not right. He deserves more recognition than the others, IMHO. I would mention it to an appropriate person before the next concert. Not right. </p>
<p>As my mother would say, he is collecting gold stars on his crown for heaven. Me, I’d call and mention how my son feels, given all the attention to seniors and not a word of all the overtime he has put in without class or other credit.</p>
<p>I agree with others that if the teacher is contacted it should be by your son. I am sorry he is upset but what is the big deal about it. Heck at Senior Awards nite the program recognized the students recieving scholarships, most being less than $1000. Our son’s Rensselaer Medal worth $60,000 was omitted and his/our reaction was big whoop.</p>
<p>My advice would be to save the angst for more important things in life.</p>
<p>I agree with talking to your son about talking to the teacher and if he is uncomfortable about it (even if he doesn’t flat out refuse - like mine would, but you just know he will somehow “forget” to do it) I would contact the teacher myself. Not in an accusatory way, but along the lines of “my son’s feelings were really hurt when he was inadvertently not recognized, when all of his fellow seniors were, during the performance - I hope this was merely an oversight and I do hope an apology will be coming his way”</p>
<p>I agree with missypie. I would contact the teacher with a pleasant " I’m sure it was just an oversight, but" and see what the response is. My bet is that someone used the roll for the orchestra as their list when they were making their recognition plans. Since your son will be in a similar positition again, it’s worth mentioning. If he weren’t going to be involved again, I’d drop it.
In my daughter’s junior year all of the National Merit Commended scholars were recognized at an awards ceremony at the end of the year, but not the 2 kids who were actual scholars. (small school) It was kind of funny in that a quarter of the class came up to get their applause, but the two actual winners were never mentioned. We didn’t say anything because it was over and the year was over. But in my D’s senior year awards at the end of the year, the two winners were acknowledged, so at some point they realized their mistake. Mistakes happen.</p>
<p>We have some seniors who cannot register for the band class because of scheduling conflicts, but make it to the after school rehearsals for the group. They are still considered “in the band” for senior recognition purposes. I think the “scheduling conflicts” part makes a difference.</p>
<p>oog, I think this is different. He was an integral member of the orchestra for 3 years. The time and commitment for something like that should never be overlooked. The RPI medal is a huge honor, but not probably being a local one, was not on the shcool’s radar (I could see that happening here as well) But for a kid who has been involved in something important to the school for so many years, it is a real slap in the face to not have it recognized. Since he wil be asked to perform again, I think it would be a good idea to get it straightened out, even if, in the long haul, the angst would be better spent elsewhere</p>