<p>It is important to ask for help when needed. But that’s a touch skill to “teach”, especially for bright/proud kids that skated through hs. If folks have hints on that, it’s probably worth a whole new and helpful thread 
</p>
<p>" get up with an alarm clock without a parent" - YES! And kids taking meds need to be become self sufficient with meds in hs. A weekly pill box can be a good way to put the teen in charge but still allow parent to occasionally spot check on it.</p>
<p>soccergurl - I assume they are more senior than you, so guess what, when you are in their position you could tell people how to interact with you. Sounds harsh, but it is what it is. I work with a lot of young graduates. I do make an effort to interact with them, and for that I do get more out of them. I often do tell D1 to watch what she says at work and to keep up with current events.</p>
<p>Discuss medical needs for the basics like colds and flu. You may have packed a thermometer, tylenol and cough syrup, but they often go untouched. Kids tend to wait too long to head to the medical center – earlier is better. S apparently had a severe cold/flu and waited until his ear drum ruptured before he visited the med center. I was rather surprised that he tolerated the pain rather than heading to the clinic sooner. </p>
<p>Discuss dealing with roommate issues, dorm issues, drinking issues, cleaning – these are issues that kids have to work out through conversations and negotiations with our without the RA. I agree, too, with rushedmom…learn how to ask for help and make use of campus services.</p>
<p>Oldfort–I deal with it. I’d never tell them how to interact with me as I know my place (even if they are my equals in title). It just gets quite lonely when we all go to lunch and they talk about ‘kid things’ or make fun of me because I can’t name the song that’s playing on the restaurant radio (last time it was the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, apparently). But I deal. I also am more ‘professional’ than them, in that I dislike talking about my personal life, etc. I stick to sports and movies when possible.</p>
<p>How to negotiate an airport - get baggage checked, handle ticketing documents, check-in and find the appropriate gate. When traveling with my 13 year old over Christmas he was amazed when he noticed the mounted computer screens directing us to the appropriate gate and indicating if the flight was on time. Never occurred to me that he had missed that all these years.</p>
<p>soccergurl - do you not have anyone your age at work? It can be hard when you have no one to relate to. My problem is almost everyone is under 30, except for a handful of people, and they are kind of old fuddy duddy. A lot of young people like to talk to me, they tell me about their personal and work life, they keep me young.:)</p>
<p>Oldfort–In an office of 60 people, I’m the youngest by at least 5 years, haha. I was only the youngest by 3 years, but he left for another company. We work in small teams, and the youngest on my team is 35, over 10 years older than me. Because of the age differences, I get made fun of a lot–I don’t know songs/movie references/TV references that they do, I get poked fun at because I wear heels to work every day and dress more formally than they do (dress code is business casual). You can trade offices with me!</p>
<p>Know how and when to have a prescription refilled! This goes for ordering contact lenses! Leave sometime in case the pharmacy or eye doctor is out of the needed item and has to place an order!</p>
<p>How to properly tip in a variety of situations - cab driver, hair stylist, food server, etc. My DD recently gave a $20 tip on a $30 haircut! My money of course :-)</p>
<p>There’s definitely a need to learn to cook before you leave for college. I had a flatmate in my first year whose diet consisted almost entirely of processed chicken dippers and fries. It was no wonder that he had a permanent unhealthy look about him. Laundry is also another essential. I was taught both skills by having parental support withdrawn for both - laundry from the age of about 12, and I had to fend for myself for breakfast and lunch during the school holidays from the age of 15. I bought myself a student cookbook from Amazon (they’re quick, cheap and idiot proof recipes, so definitely did the trick) and taught myself. </p>
<p>One thing that I don’t think has been mentioned so far is that they should have a grasp of the basics of laws that affect them directly. Two good examples are employment law and housing law, if they’re going to be working / living in off-campus housing. Employers and landlords and very prone to trying to exploit young people’s naivety, and they very often succeed. I have had employers try to pay me less than minimum wage (they didn’t get very far with that one). My current landlord has been very good, but I know his other tenants have had a less pleasant experience with him; I like to think that making it fairly obvious very early on that I know my stuff (I had the contract rewritten…) has meant that he hasn’t tried it on. </p>
<p>Also a very good life lesson - read the contract! And think about what each clause actually means (hint: it’s to protect the person who wrote it), and don’t be afraid to ask for changes in the contract where appropriate.</p>
<p>Didn’t see it here…knowing that the ATM/bankcard keeps giving you money even after you are overdrawn…which can lead up to some hefty fees after 7 or 8 runs to WaWa for such items as coffee on the bankcard after you have depleted your account…and if it does happen that the bank can be reasonable about this when contacted, as many teenagers do this.</p>
<p>I find it difficult to believe that many students are unable to do laundry, basic cooking, grocery shopping, and cleaning by the time they leave for college. How does that happen?</p>
<p>I do my kids laundry, but sometimes it is handy to have them help out. They were all capable of doing a load of laundry (sorted, in the right temp water) by the time they were 12. It isn’t something you have to make them do all the time just as long as they know how to do it.</p>
<p>Cooking??? What do you do when you are working late, or have something to do at home that prevents you from cooking? My youngest is 13 and he can cook a few eggs, grill a piece of meat, make pasta, veggies or grilled cheese. How do you get to be 18 years old and not know how to cook something simple?</p>
<p>Cleaning?? Really??? They don’t ever have to clean anything at home? We have a cleaning lady but things still need to be cleaned when she is not there. Who cleans your kitchen every night? Don’t you teach your children the basics of cleaning a floor, and a sink, vacuuming, sweeping? I am not talking about full housekeeping, just the basics.</p>
<p>I just can’t believe a parent would allow a child to live in their house for 18 years and never require them to do anything for themself.</p>
<p>“Type well with both hands in the proper manner.”</p>
<p>Does it matter if you use the right fingers or not? I can type like 80 wpm if I’m not trying too hard but I never use the right fingers.</p>
<p>Patriot-it blows me away too, but then, it was on these forums that I saw on a similar thread that one parent’s advice was to make sure her kids make enough money to have hired help-no need to learn how to do it yourself. Others don’t need to know how to sew-they just throw their ripped clothes away! So-I guess I CAN believe that kids leave for college without knowing how to cook, clean, do laundry or sew.</p>
<p>Gladdad-sounds like your life was very similar to my H’s. His single mother was left to try to keep the house and raise 5 kids after his father died. While she had very little time in between her 2 or sometimes 3 jobs, she made sure than when she WAS home, she taught her kids how to do for themselves. </p>
<p>My H worked all through high school, as many hours as he was allowed by law to help keep the family on his feet. He STILL had chores to do like cooking and cleaning and still managed a social life. I don’t think it was ideal, but allowing our kids to do NOTHING to help out does them more harm than good, IMO.</p>
<p>How about the life skills they need to teach us before THEY go to college? Since mine have left I haven’t been able to figure out which remote is which, how to sync my itune playlists, or how to unfriend someone on Facebook.</p>
<p>I recently had to teach my HS age kid:
how to write an address/where to stick the stamp on an envelope and send it via snail mail</p>
<p>Car skills- how to jump a car, check and fill the fluids, change a tire.</p>
<p>Emergency skills-how to turn off the water and/or power, reset a GFCI.</p>
<p>Life skills-how to read a contract (mostly to actually READ it.), how to say “I want a lawyer” if ever arrested, how to say no (to anything, not just s3x).</p>
<p>How to use a public phone, though they are increasingly unavailable. </p>
<p>Proudpatriot, a LOT of kids show up at college without knowing how to do laundry. I taught my son when he was 12 before he went off to sleepaway camp, and because he’d be using commercial machines, we went to a laundromat for this. He’s been doing his own laundry ever since. He was surprised other kids didn’t know how, and boy, did I ever hear about it!!</p>
<p>My former FIL had to learn how to cook when his wife died. Heck, my 80±year-old neighbor doesn’t know how to do laundry; he just never learned how. When his wife had an accident and was in the hospital/rehab for weeks and weeks, I did his laundry. (He’d get it out of the dryer and fold or hang stuff up as needed, but the washing machine is a mystery to him.)</p>
<p>lol, neuroticparent!</p>
<p>My So.CA born-and-raised D learned an important life skill while intern-ing at a high-tech Silicon Valley company last week: how to use a credit card to scrape the ice from her windshield on a frosty morning.</p>
<p>Another important life skill: when she first arrived at the curb in front of the friend’s home where she’d be staying for the week, she called me in a panic. “I just drove up to C’s house and I’ve texted him, but he’s not answering. What should I do?!” (I suggested she go knock on the front door. She didn’t call me back, so I guess it must’ve worked.)</p>
<p>^That reminds me- if a warm weather kid is going to a cold-weather school,</p>
<p>How to dress for the extreme cold (layers, minimize exposed skin, no earrings, appropriate materials, etc.)</p>
<p>How to deal with a frozen car (No, don’t use hot water!)</p>
<p>If living in a an apartment, how to deal with frozen pipes.</p>
<p>How to drive on snow and ice.</p>