<p>If he really has OCD, then probably other kids are going to figure it out anyway. People are much more accepting of people’s differences than they used to be. Having said that, sometimes people DO just get lucky and get singles. So he really doesn’t have to explain anything. The fact is, though, that he was smart and qualified enough to get into this college, and he owes no explanation to anyone. A lot of kids have special needs or situations (one is on scholarship, another comes from a culturally disadvantaged background, another has ADHD or a physical disability–). I think college kids are more tolerant of these differences than high school kids are. It will be good for him to go there, and it will be good for the other students to have him there.</p>
<p>I vote for take the room and casually say “I’m a little OCD.”</p>
<p>As I said in another thread, a little more information is the best way to stave off misunderstandings. I have OCD myself (I’m a hair picker) and I can say from experience that when things were not good for me, people often did misunderstand – thinking I was mean or rude or something when that wasn’t the case. Now, I wouldn’t suggest putting up a sign, but if someone asks, it’s better to tell than to lie or foster misunderstanding.</p>
<p>Another example (I’ve mentioned this before) my D became acquainted with a girl in an out-of-school program who has Asperger’s. She had been coached to say “I want you to know that this is my situation and sometimes I may say or do something that might bother you and I hope you will point it out to me.” Now, Asperger’s and OCD are of course not the same thing, but if you’re close enough to not want a misunderstanding with that person, respectful information is better.</p>
<p>I absolutely believe that most people have good intentions and would be caring and helpful if they knew what was going on. Being mysterious just leaves open the possibility of (mis) interpretation.</p>
<p>One note here about a potential difference between boys and girls: girls tend to show their acceptance of a difference by minimizing it, while boys will sometimes show their acceptance by joking about it.</p>
<p>My S had a single frosh year. Granted, he was in a place where lots of kids had singles so the did not face the same issues as your S. His sister was horrified because she didn’t think he’d make friends. He had no difficulties, and since his suffers from insomnia it was really wonderful.</p>
<p>Next year is his senior year, and he’s had a single every year. At no extra charge. In fact, I’d recommend his college for that reason. It has made his life easier for him.</p>
<p>As for “sticking out”: if it were my kid I’d encourage him to tell the truth to be comfortable being himself. College is the kind of environment where kids find out everything about each other.</p>
<p>But if he doesn’t feel comfortable with “a private health problem” works fine. Or so does a joke. “I snore so loud I’d be afraid I’d keep my roommate up all night.” Wink wink, laugh.</p>
<p>Isn’t it part of the OCD to worry about this? Just say, “it will be fine,” and proceed. After all, what choice does he have? Would another college be better?</p>
<p>One of D’s friends had to live at home because she had to rigidly control her food (only in her own head, not for health reasons.) It was such a shame. Then, she married a guy fifteen years older than she the minute she graduated. She has never really been with peers and you can tell by her choices and behavior.</p>
<p>Your S is being given the best of all worlds – a chance to go away and live with other kids and an accommodation for his personal situation. Tell him it’s okay to be him and this is as good as it’s going to get.</p>
<p>Good luck to him. I know it’s not easy. My S has ADD, which doesn’t effect his relationships but does impact his school work. Most of us have something we’re dealing with.</p>
<p>My daughter had a single all four years ( although senior yr she was in a college townhouse with another student).
She didnt ask for one- but it worked out great. I imagine they gave it to her because she has ADD. ( which many people are familiar with).
I don’t know if anyone asked- but saying you need it for concentration/studying issues covers a world of background.</p>
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<p>The rate for quad/triple/double/single are different in that ascending order at DD college. But everyone pay for single the same from freshman to senior.</p>
<p>To OP: Why DS has to say anything about health in this case. He should be able to take single just by choice too. Do you have to have a health reason to get it?</p>
<p>I would absolutely have him take the single - and as others have suggested - he can give a simple explanantion and let that be it. I work at a hs and one of the biggest complaints our returning students have regarding freshman year is roommate problems. Some have switched rooms - others have gritted their teeth - but even some of our more easy-going kids have horror stories. Given your son’s mental health issues, I would think the privacy and relative calm of a single outweigh any other considerations. As others have posted - he can leave his door open when he wants to be social and hall-style dorms lend themselves to making friends.</p>
<p>I think he just has to be careful of how the message “I just got lucky” might be received. That could easily be taken as “I’m special” and off-putting. A little self-effaacement would be good.</p>
<p>Its usually hard to get a single, POIH, and pretty uncommon for freshmen at most schools. I dont recall it being an option at either of my s’s schools</p>
<p>Thanks for your thoughts. You raise some interesting points.</p>
<p>Responses to questions asked:
They won’t charge us extra for the single.
Singles are not available for freshman unless they have medical needs.
His school mixes classes together in housing: there is no “freshman dorm.”
His OCD is invisible (no obvious compulsions or unusual cleanliness); people wouldn’t guess his condition unless he told them.
He plans to be in a couple groups (athletic and music), so he will have some natural forums to make friends.</p>
<p>Since everyone will know that he has a single for medical reasons, in his case it may be better to let them know generally what his reason is–because it’s not something that the others really need to worry about.</p>
<p>I vote for emeraldkitty’s explanation. After all, someone with OCD does have concentration difficulties in that he is focusing on something he shouldn’t or is focusing on it more than is normal. If the behavior of a roommate were to fall outside of what is comfortable for your S, then I assume that could cause him anxiety and would disrupt your S’s concentration on his own affairs (eg. roommate doesn’t keep things orderly or clean enough etc.). Once he sees who befriends him and is trustworthy, he can elaborate if he chooses.</p>
<p>And since everyone will know that he has a single for medical reasons… most are unlikely to ask. Just in case, I’d work with him to come up with a canned response that isn’t dishonest, but is comfortable for him.</p>
<p>I would take the single – I doubt anyone will ask why – most LACs assign rooms & they’d assume he just lucked out.</p>
<p>He will need to be sure to connect with hallmates & make an extra effort to reach out socially.</p>
<p>I had a single all four year for a physical disability. The most common response?</p>
<p>“Wow, you’re lucky… my roomate…” [ensuing gripes about roommates]</p>
<p>I seriously doubt he will be ostrachized in anyway for having a single.</p>
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<p>Since University is not charging different amount for single, then there will be questions by peer about it. So you will need to have answers ready.</p>
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<p>At DD school it’s an option because the charges are drastically different almost $800/semester from a triple to a single.</p>
<p>Room costs (per semester)
single $3,953
double $3,492
triple $3,125
Additional costs (per semester)
$300 house dining membership
$60 house tax</p>
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If the school charges everyone the same, there will be no questions. If they charge more for the singles, no one needs to know how much any one student pays.</p>
<p>Take the single. Freshmen year you don’t get to choose your roommate, and a bad match can be a nightmare even for the most mentally resilient.</p>
<p>Most kids do not become best friends with their freshman roommates. Most social activities are floor-based, not room-based.</p>
<p>^^^: Point was if the price is same from triple to single then every one is going to question you how you got the single room since they couldn’t get it.</p>
<p>That is why it might be important to have a legit reason to get it in the first place.</p>
<p>Room prices are known to everyone and is listed on the web or the form you have to fill so there is no need to hide/show it.</p>
<p>Singles arent necessarily coveted by freshmen. Many want to have roommates to help with assimiation and connection. There may be a few who say “wow- how’d you get a single?” but I dont think its a given that many will pry into it.</p>
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<p>I rather doubt freshmen are likely to talk to each other about the cost of their dorm room. My guess is that many of them may not even know (if they’re from a family where the parents are footing most of the bill) and even if they know, they’re not likely to ask since there are other much more interesting things to be learning about your dorm mates.</p>