<p>Firstly, to the OP, thank you for being a great parent and advocate for your son.</p>
<p>As an LGBT person involved in the prep school world, a couple thoughts:
- look for schools that possess openly gay male faculty/staff members (don’t be afraid to ask about this when speaking to admissions). We’ve found it’s the gold standard for a supportive community, in that society still has less trust for gay men (especially with kids) than gay women. If a school supports its gay male faculty, it is likely to support its student and to not tolerate an abusive environment within the student body.
- much of the northeast and/or california will likely provide this environment, though in addition to conservative religious environments, as other posters said, I would also watch schools where sports is very important and a “jock,” or “boys will be boys” atmosphere is tolerated.
- a number of the arts-related schools mentioned are good bets. Some will have rolling admissions (and/or will unofficially have rolling admission), as will some other smaller prep schools. I know one poster suggested avoiding the smaller ones. I don’t necessarily agree, but I’d look carefully. Places that are small and outdoorsy (someone already mentioned Putney, which also has good arts, or Holderness are good bets).
- financial aid may be an issue, it sounds like from your original post, so you may have to wait for the next cycle, since while admissions may still be open (even unofficially), at this point, financial aid is usually allocated. In that case, if your son is truly unsafe where he is, please consider homeschooling/online schooling for a year or whether he could live with a relative in a place where the public schools are safer/more LGBT friendly for the next academic year, and make his applications from there.</p>
<p>Good luck. You’re welcome to PM me (if I can figure out how to make that work) with more questions.</p>
<p>I agree with Stillinschool’s post completely. I wouldn’t discount small schools at all and agree Putney is a great example of a small school that is very accepting of all types of kids and has a strong emphasis on the arts. That said, it’s not a school that will appeal to everyone but I’d strongly suggest looking at it.</p>
<p>I would also look at Quaker schools. The Quaker philosophy is firmly based in social justice. I would suggest looking at George and Westtown. I was reading Westtown’s curriculum guide this weekend and courses include Essays of Gay and Lesbian Liberation, Schooled in Diversity Action Research: Gender@Westtown, The Big Fix: A Hollywood History of Heterosexuality.</p>
<p>So look at what is taught as well as what is lived.</p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck in finding a place that is safe for him.</p>
<p>Most schools seem open and welcoming, thankfully.
Concord was particularly impressive.</p>
<p>The hardest part is being admitted. That said, most schools are always on the lookout for artistic boys. So arts coupled with strong academics plus your geographic diversity and your son should have some choices.</p>
<p>Stillinschool gave excellent advice. As someone who grew up in Louisiana, I can say that the entire climate is more accepting in the northeast. Even our tiny rural school here has had several gay students graduate without harassment, voted prom king, etc.</p>
<p>I’m currently a student at a small New England boarding school and I’m also gay. All the advice in this thread has been really good so far. Id like to add my experiences in the hope that they help you a little bit.</p>
<p>I thought going into this school that boarding schools were all pretty much liberal across the table but the atmosphere at my school has been surprisingly conservative. It may be well worth your time to talk to more than a couple students, both boys and girls when you visit so you can get different opinions on what the atmosphere is like at that particular school. Honestly, I spend most of my time with minority students since they are more relatable than most of the other students here. It seems like no one else at school is gay since no one is out, at least not this year. Even though my school does have a GSA, it is mostly filled with girls, who arent gay. A gay person has to be somewhat of a trailblazer here. </p>
<p>I’d definitely recommend going to a bigger school, if possible, since its student body would probably be less homogenous just due to the sheer number of students. A school with a lot of diversity would definitely make it easier to fit in. Some schools that Ive heard are quite accepting from talking to friends are Andover and Exeter but I havent attended so I have no personal experience with them. </p>
<p>I hope this helps you and your son in some way! PM me if you have any questions that I may be of help with! And good luck with your search!</p>
<p>Agree regarding Phillips Academy Andover. Strong GSA, openly LGBT faculty members and deans, good arts programs, need-blind admissions so very strong financial aid. I am a gay PA parent of a senior…can give more details privately.</p>
<p>Also agree with the recommendation of trying a summer program as mentioned by others.</p>
<p>Just want to followup on enragedcamel’s thoughtful post: I don’t mean to imply that every bs in the northeast will be a comfortable place for a gay teen, especially a boy. I do generally find that the majority will be, at least, physically safe but as enragedcamel points out, there’s a lot more to it than that, and every kid deserves to feel accepted, have good friends, and, basically, get a whole lot more than just a guarantee of no physical violence. So, to the OP, dig deep. There are many good options, but it’s definitely true that there are places in the NE where fitting in will still be hard.</p>
<p>without sending this thread in a totally different direction, enragedcamel - thanks for weighing in, and kudos for what seems like a really thoughtful response to a bs experience that isn’t perfect but has value nonetheless. I hope you find as you continue at your school that with time there are more people who accept and support you. If you aren’t finding that, please consider the multischool conferences held in the northeast and elsewhere (pocc, which is run by nais comes to mind, as do more local events) where you might meet more students in your position, as well as faculty who support them. I would hope that your bs years end up being more than just tolerable, even if you seem thoughtful enough to handle them either way.</p>
<p>I must say I can’t speak highly enough about Walnut Hill School for the Arts in MA. Our daughter is a Jr. there in the visual arts program. The theatre program is the largest program in the school and the talent and productions rival Broadway! We are so looking forward to seeing the Spring musical, ‘Anything Goes’, this weekend.
The school is very accepting of gay students, and has a large gay male student population. Students are all very accepting of each other and support each other across the various mediums. I would encourage you to look into it, and perhaps visit. I would also suggest participating in the summer program and getting the application process started asap. All schools will require an interview and it would be easy to do while he is at camp. Good luck to you in your search! (also WH accepts students at the mid-year point in January also. Our daughter started during the second semester of her Sophomore year).</p>
<p>For anyone stumbling on this thread in the new admissions season, I’ll echo the arts schools and based on the experiences of friends or children of friends, add Exeter as a place that I know has an active GSA and an accepting environment. A friend whose son graduated from Andover said he did NOT feel comfortable coming out there, though others have had different experiences. His brother was out through his entire career at Concord and felt safe and welcome. </p>
<p>As always, YMMV.</p>
<p>Ive posted previously in this thread but since it was bumped, I decided Id post again. Im an openly gay student at my boarding school and most of my perspectives of my school, when I was in the closet, were pretty much shattered after I came out. Although I perceived my school to be more conservative in nature, many of the students who I thought wouldnt be accepting have become some of my biggest supporters. Ive done a lot of work with the GSA at my school this year and can definitely second girlgeekmoms recommendation of Exeter as a great place for gay students. There are a handful of out students there, as well as at Andover. Im heavily involved with the GSA at my school and have developed many contacts with students in GSAs at other New England boarding schools. If anyone wants more information about the GSAs at boarding schools or wants to hear about my experiences of being gay at a boarding school, feel free to PM me!</p>
<p>You are an awesome parent. </p>
<p>I was also going to suggest Interlochen for his interest in the arts. Also look into summer camps and programs for LGBT youth. That might help him to adjust to being away from home the summer before he goes and give him a safe environment where he can be among the majority rather than in the minority and empower him in terms of self-confidence. The more LGBT kids he meets, the better he will likely feel about himself. Social support is everything. There are also some summer programs that aren’t necessarily just for LGBT kids, but offer an accepting and creative atmosphere, such as the Omega Teen Camp ([Teen</a> Camp | Omega](<a href=“http://eomega.org/workshops/theme-weeks/teen-camp]Teen”>http://eomega.org/workshops/theme-weeks/teen-camp)).</p>
<p>I agree that most New England boarding schools are pretty socially liberal and accepting of diversity. Of course, you’ll run into ignorant jerks everywhere, but by and large he shouldn’t have a serious problem. In general the administration of New England boarding schools should be sensitive to LGBT students’ needs.</p>
<p>If you are seeking an open and compassionate religious community, check out your local Unitarian Universalist church. Look for one certified as a Welcoming Congregation, which means that they’ve gone above and beyond to welcome LGBT parishioners. People can maintain their own faiths (Christian, Jewish, Pagan) or lack thereof there, and many sermons are focused on diversity, acceptance, and social justice. LGBT people can be ministers there, unlike at many other churches. They are not second class citizens. This church originated in New England and having this type of supportive community influence is something else that he could connect with in the greater community of his new school. If he’s interested in being a part of a religious community, I’m sure it would be a relief to be a member of one that isn’t going to condemn him to hell or judge him for his sexual orientation. If he’s not interested in religion at all, then obviously scrap that.</p>
<p>Hope this helps.</p>