Hi! This may be a dumb question but I wanted to apply to a couple prep schools and was wondering if their students are homophobic. I’m from the south so homophobia is prevalent in my day-to-day life, and was wondering if applying to one of these schools (and hopefully attending) would provide me an escape from all of that. Thank you!
Some are, some aren’t.
Homophobia is kind of frowned upon at the more liberal prep schools.
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Depends on the school.
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What schools would you recommend for queer students?
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That’s… kind of nebulous…
What would be more helpful is to get an idea of what your interests are, what kind of student you are, and within that subset of schools, find some schools that match the level of inclusivity you want.
For example, if you are a fantastic football player, you might not be interested in schools that don’t have football teams.
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@username322 , I am familiar with George School and would put it in the "very welcoming " category for queer students. @stalecookies is right in that you want there to be other dimensions of fit as well, this is an important one for LGBTQ students.
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Is there an Quaker school that isn’t full of nice people?
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Therr are existing threads on this topic. Just search for “lgbtq” in the prep school forum. Or somebody more talented at citing old threads maybe will paste a link here.
Gist is, or my impression is anyway: many/most of the big name boarding schools are very accepting and progressive. That said, people can have bad experiences even in the best of environments- it can be just a matter of having a bad roommate match.
One thing to look at is how dorms are organized- how well does the school accommodate non-binary students.
As a stereotype, I think it is reasonable to assume California schools are very good on lgbtq issues across the board. I only have personal experience with Cate, and they are very very accepting - to the point of “accepting” not being the right word because it implies there is an “in” group that does the accepting of lgbtq folks. There may be different social groups, but to my knowledge sexual orientation has nothing to do with who hangs out with whom. Cate is a tiny school and not many dorm options, though, so that could be an issue depending upon your needs.
I think the advice above is good - research schools that have programs you want and excite you. Then dig into the lgbtq angle for your short list.
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Thank you all !!
I’m looking at Andover and Choate currently just because my family doesn’t want to spend too much on applications and I’m content being rejected because my local hs has good academics! My parents don’t want to venture too far so we’re primary focusing on East Coast School (I’m from SC)
I am concerned though as I am a queer POC and i’ve heard horror stories from both schools. Any tips?
I am interested in Arts and Humanities and would also like to see the snow 
I would look into Concord Academy, very progressive and has good arts and humanities programming. I would switch out Choate, not sure that would be the fit you are looking for.
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I go to Hill and 2 of my closest friends are from SC. There is homophobia everywhere, but they say it is really great here compared to at home. I have many LGBTQ+ friends, including my roommate, and they’ve been feeling safe and supported here.
I’m trans, applying this year, and what I looked into for LGBTQ+ was really firstly whether or not they had a club, on their social media to see how active it was (then they could cultivate their pages and I’m sure they do, but it’s a question of “Are their LGBTQ+ students important to them” and presumably if they’re showcasing them then they are at least partly attracting more LGBTQ+ students) and secondly since I’m trans whether or not they have all-gender dorms. This restricting my choices by quite a bit and from there I just looked at the school and environment, etc. Finally, I’m applying to Exeter, Andover, SPS, Hotchkiss, and Choate.
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Totally understand. I don’t have any experience with them. We toured Choate and got the impression it was very progressive.
The “widen your net” advice everyone gets applies here to you. What do you like about those schools?
Paging @CavsFan2003 - who should be able to talk about Choate.
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Ah thanks for the mention!
Choate is not homophobic at all. @CateCAParent is right in the impression that Choate is very progressive—I would argue that we are easily one of the most progressive boarding schools. SPECTRUM (essentially a gay-straight alliance) has many, many students and is very active. The LGBT+ community at Choate is very active—it seems like at least a good third of the school identifies in the community—and as a member of the LGBT+ community I have never felt uncomfortable at Choate due to my identity. If you have any specific questions, feel free to DM me!
Some other schools (which might have already been mentioned) that came off as very accepting to the LGBT+ community during my app process include Concord Academy, George School, Andover, Putney, and NMH.
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I agree with @CavsFan2003. Choate is definitely an LGBTQ friendly community. During our son’s time there, he produced this video (among others) for SMASS that you may find helpful.
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I know a LGBTQ student at Choate who is very happy
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Not true at all.
I’ll add another voice to those who actually go to Choate or have kids at Choate. It is a very inclusive community.
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You can ask the AO for a waiver on the application fee. I’ve not heard of a school which will not grant this if asked.
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Noted! Will bring that up with my parents! Thanks!
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