<p>I realize this has been discussed to some degree in many other posts, but I need some very specific advice.</p>
<p>My son is deciding between Lehigh and a few other schools. I am very concerned about the presumed influence of Greek life at Lehigh and the pressure to join fraternities. I am aware that Lehigh is trying to combat this by starting Lehigh After Dark (not sure if I got the name right) program, and that they are making some effort to cut down on hazing.</p>
<p>I am not naive and assume my son will drink and party in college. The other schools he is deciding about are also party schools. The difference is that it seems that Greek life is so widespread AND there is not much else to do. There is not much of a college town right outside of the campus, and what I am hearing is that social life revolves around the fraternities, even if you don't belong to one. My son is the kind of kid who wants to socialize and fit in, and I am worried that he will feel compelled to go along with this level of partying to fit in, since there are few other options.</p>
<p>So, my question is...what are students like who choose NOT to become involved in Greek life? Without being overly stereotypical, how would you describe them? I'm just trying to get a sense of whether my son would have any chance of "surviving" without getting sucked into a fraternity culture. Obviously, you can see that I am not favorable toward Greek life, and I am not trying to offend anyone. I like the concept in principal - just not how it plays out in reality in most situations.</p>
<p>We spoke to several people at candidates day about this. It took some time to find guys not in a fraternity, but when we did, it seemed the floodgates opened. What I found was that the level of involvement in the lehigh community was extremely high. When I asked how they chose to decompress at the end of the week the answers varied from hanging out with friends and having a few beers to watching sports , going to parties etc. not a whole lot of difference from what the frat guys were saying although I realize that the frat guys were toning it down for the parents. Many of the people I spoke to were involved in the many clubs on campus and a few said they had no time to decompress.<br>
I have the same concerns as you but I realize it is unfair to generalize groups. The guys that we approached that were not in fraternities seemed as fun loving and cool as anyone. They were sure to remind us that 60% of the student body are not in frats and manage to have a great college experience. Good luck with your decision.</p>
<p>Oh, forgot to mention how fun it was to see the marching 97.</p>
<p>Bear in mind that 35 % or so are involved in greek life (not sure of the exact percentage this year). So the majority of students are no involved in Greek life. My son is not and has a very active and full social life but is also focused on his future and is not a heavy drinker. He has never felt pressured or left out because he does not drink to excess. He has had much less peer pressure to do so at Lehigh than he did in high school.</p>
<p>My son and his friends are well rounded, good looking, fun loving, multi talented students. I am quite sure they will also all be very successful in their future.</p>
<p>Your son will find many like minded students and will have a great time at Lehigh!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your feedback. These are the kind of comments I had hoped to hear. We couldn’t make it yesterday because my son had an EC school commitment he had to attend, but we will be going later this week to visit again. </p>
<p>I wonder what contributes to the 60% choosing NOT to attend fraternities, considering the strong presence on campus?</p>
<p>Hi Britsmum, You might have, he was pretty involved yesterday! He was on a few student panels - mostly in BioE I believe, but probably gave some tours, did some Rossin Junior Fellows stuff as well.</p>
<p>He has dirty blond hair, blue eyes, six feet, kinda skinny…sound familiar?</p>
<p>Maggiedog, I think many people do not choose to join Greek life as there is a large social commitment, and I know that for engineering students, it would be difficult to meet the commitments to the fraternity or sorority for many. My son has friend who are in a Frat or sorority and do fine, but I think it takes a good amount of time.</p>
<p>For my son, that was one consideration, but his primary one was that he felt that the life was centered around drinking and he was not comfortable with that. I don’t want to insult anyone, that is just his opinion…</p>
<p>I was in the BioE group yesterday, mumof2boyz, and I am pretty sure I saw him! There was definitely someone in the BioE info sessions that fits your description.</p>
<p>They all seemed like very nice people and were incredibly knowledgeable. The event was definitely geared more towards parents, especially those of students who haven’t decided on a school yet, but it was interesting nonetheless.</p>
<p>Lehigh2017 - It was probably him - he has had some interesting internships so he usually gets asked to speak. Hope you had fun and learned a bit more about the program! I wish it was a bit warmer… Lehigh is stunning in the spring!</p>
<p>I learned quite about more about interships, co-ops, research, and AP credit. What I found most interesting was that everyone who mentioned AP credits said it isn’t a good idea for an engineering student to take the AP Calculus credit unless you are absolutely sure of your abilities. They also didn’t seem to think taking credit for Physics or Chem would be a good idea either. </p>
<p>I was a little disappointed too about the temperature (apart from the actual temperature, the weather was nice), but I have seen Lehigh in both the summer and spring already and know how beautiful it is then, too.</p>
<p>Maggiedog - went to Lehigh Life day with my son today. He’s down to VaTech or Lehigh. I like both for their engineering. My wife’s only concern about Lehigh is also the Greek social scene. If my son ends up picking Lehigh, he’ll be another one like mumof2boyz’s son. It sounds like there will be enough of those kind of kids that they’ll find each other and find good alternatives.</p>
<p>We were at Lehigh Life yesterday. Once again, great event. I learned some things I did not know, took the bus tour, etc… My son is very happy with his choice. Seems like they really care about the students. I think college is what you make out of it…with 5000 students, I am sure there is something for everyone.</p>
<p>It is really helpful getting feedback that there are plenty of kids out there who do not completely embrace the frat scene. I realize the percentages indicate that there are more who do not participate, but the overall feel was that the frat scene dominated. It is good to know that many kids do fine without it. Thanks.</p>
<p>As a sophomore, I don’t completely understand why people are so concerned with the role greek life plays. It is there if you want it and easy to ignore if you don’t. I know plenty of people in and outside of greek life and there definitely is not hostility to “GDIs.” Some people may be critical of people outside greek life, but insecure people are everywhere - in and out of greek life. </p>
<p>I agree that there is not much to do in Bethlehem as a freshman without a car other than go to parties or hangout with friends. However, it should also be noted that parties are not limited to greek life. My freshman year, especially at the start, we went to parties of all nature from the frisbee house parties to frat parties. If anything, the social scene allowed me to branch out and find my niche. If that isn’t your thing there is a housing program that embraces sobriety and is a great way to meet other people who may not be interested in going to parties that often.</p>
<p>Thank you for your candid response. I doubt that my son would be interested in a CHOICE program, and I don’t really even want that for him. Going to parties is a great part of the college experience. My personal concern, or bias if you want to call it that, against the Greek system is that while in theory it might promote a close-knit living situation that engages in philanthropy, in reality it sometimes promotes an us-against-the-world, party all the time environment that still does some humiliating and bullying behavior in its hazing process.</p>
<p>Just want to clarify that being a part of CHOICE housing does not mean you cannot attend parties or even partake in alcohol or whatever you want. It means that you sign a contract to not bring the party back to where you live and if you are intoxicated you would not come back to the dorm. Students who select CHOICE are not people who never attend parties or explore the social aspects of college life.</p>
<p>If you or your son are not comfortable with Greek life, that is fine. He certainly does not need to be a member of fraternity to have the full college experience.</p>
<p>maggiedog, if you want you can PM me and I can try to answer any questions. I tried to PM but since this is a new account it wouldn’t let me initiate it.</p>
<p>@maggiedog, I tried to respond but I still can’t due to post . If you want to send an email address to respond to (in a pm) then I can answer questions. Feel free to use a throwaway gmail or something. Sorry!</p>