<p>My daughter, soon to be a high school senior. has decided she wants to apply ED to NYU. So why is this a problem? Only because her reason for wanting to go there is simply because it is in Greenwich Village, NY. It makes me very nervous to have her at such a large, impersonal school -she is very shy - but she just wants to be in NY. She didn't like the core curriculum at Columbia and refuses to look at Barnard (girls school, too uptown).
I know NYU is a very good school. My daughter has the grades and scores to go to an Ivy (I know, no guarantees there, but she also has legacy status if that means anything anymore). Her guidance counselor is a little perplexed as to why she only wants to apply to one school and not even look at others - don't have to be Ivies - that she would have a good chance of admission at.
There are other colleges that are stronger in her intended fields of study, but she is just stuck on being in downtown Manhattan for reasons she won't really go into (no, there isn't a boyfriend). I went with her on her NYU college visit and all we saw was one dorm, one classroom, and that's it.
In the course of life she has visited other colleges (friends at Princeton, Amherst, Vassar, Harvard) so it's not as if she has never seen a college in her life.
Should we just say "it's your life" and let her apply ED to NYU? I must admit we are a bit concerned about our shy daughter alone in the big city, with no campus or close advisors. Looking for advice. She's our first going to college.</p>
<p>catherine,</p>
<p>NYU is a very particular experience and not for everyone. Our two friends who went: one is as happy as she has ever been, and one hated it and transferred out after freshman year.</p>
<p>Would it be possible for your D to visit a friend (say, kid from the class ahead of her) who goes there? Maybe she could also peek at Barnard (which does not "feel" as single sex as she may think.) </p>
<p>My D wanted UCLA last Sept. We felt it was a poor choice for her and were somewhat surprised she selected it. When she realized that the population of UCLA was 40K, she quickly reassessed that plan.</p>
<p>Some shy or introverted people will struggle in a huge place but others will be very happy to melt into the largeness. It may be that NYU is a good match for your D.</p>
<p>Finally: Could there possibly be a NYC boyfriend in this scene somewhere? There <em>was</em> a BF hovering behind my daughter's somewhat knee-jerk choice of UCLA.</p>
<p>BTW: D is now headed to a small LAC way far away from So Calif. Help her keep her options open until ED materials are actually due.</p>
<p>I would say let her make her own choice;she has visited other schools so presumably has some basis for comparison. Regarding the shyness issue, I don't think she would get that much more personal attention or nurturing at the larger Ivies (though she might at a small liberal arts college if she gets lucky with her advisor and professors or her choice overall). If NYU is what she wants I don't see a major problem other than the prestige factor, and NYU, while admittedly not Columbia, is an excellent school with a lot to offer. Certainly NYU is good enough and intriguingly located enough so that it is able to attract some first-class students and faculty. Whether she ends up at NYU or an Ivy or the quintessential LAC, there will be bright kids and good profs, lazy kids and pompous profs, caring people and selfish ones. So let her go where she thinks she will be happy. I doubt her education will suffer.</p>
<p>Cross posted w/ edit about BF.</p>
<p>We didn't think there was a BF either, but we were wrong....</p>
<p>NYU does have a core curriculum. It is more flexible, but I would advise her to really research NYU before applying.</p>
<p>We had a somewhat similar situation - daughter really liked school that the 'rents were unsure about AND the school glaringly lacked some of her earlier criteria that had been (to that point) non-negotiable.</p>
<p>Right or wrong, this is what I would say - OK, great, but we cannot allow you to apply to only one school, (even if it may be close to a safety in the ED round), you have to prepare applications to at least 2 more schools, so jot down what you like most about NYU, and find two schools of different selectivity that match those criteria AND,
we don't want you to apply ED to any school where you have not done an overnight, you have to overnight and attend a class (I hope you don't live in NYC, because this one may not help :)). I would also point out zantedeschia's point - you don't really want to talk her out of MYU, you want to be sure it is truly what she wants.</p>
<p>Two more thoughts - may not be a BF, may be fear (although I would think NYU would be a little scary), maybe fear of Ivy rejection, wanting the process over with as little pain as possible? Secondly, if she gets there and hates it, then she comes home wiser - you can help your misgivings by being proactive about the city, the big school, the other concerns you have.</p>
<p>By the way, we insisted on the overnight, she did it, applied ED, and is headed to the school that was something of the odd man out on her list - she has grown into it, and I think (fingers crossed) that it will be a good choice for her.</p>
<p>S started making noises about NYU a few months ago. I am extremely open to whatever schools he wants to consider, but I pretty much said NO to NYU. I did it gently, but NYU is one of the few schools I am not willing to pay for (for him-might be fine for other kids) for undergraduate school. I think he needs a campus environment and there is plenty of time to live in NYC after college. NYU is just not worth the tuition compared to other schools for my son. He accepted that very well- he knew it wasn't the right place for him even though he in enthralled with Manhattan.</p>
<p>Just a thought - if you're relying on financial aid, you have a legitimate reason to have daughter widen the search.</p>
<p>AS the original poster, we live near enough NYC that my daughter goes there on the train with some regularity and loves the city. She's very into improv/sketch comedy and loves the comedy clubs in NY. This, of course, has nothing to do with college and no, she isn't interested in Tisch. There truly is no boyfriend - not even a close friend applying. We don't qualify for financial aid (unfortunately).
I would be happy to tell her that she can apply RD and if that's where she wants to go in April, it will be her choice. BUT if she doesn't get in RD - I worry she will be upset and blame us forever. Sigh. This college stuff is hard!</p>
<p>Catherine, set up a private meeting between you and her GC or school's college counselor to discuss your misgivings, and your daughter's RD chances - if the GC thinks she has a good chance, then telling her she can go RD won't be so chancy. It sounds like, though, she has good reasons (to her) for wanting to go to NYU, and has some experience of the city - now if you are worried about her not going to class, or too many hours in the comedy clubs, perhaps the gentle no, or a strict understanding about the money stopping if the grades aren't there would be in order.</p>
<p>I am not a parent but I am a student and I go to NYC lots. My personal opinion is that it is a fun city and when else can one afford to have the experience of living there?? It is not as if NYU is a terrible school and much of the motivation for attending college is personal growth......try to be happy and supportive. Transfers are possible and like I said it is a great city for students.</p>
<p>I think I agree with hazmat on this one. While you may not think NYU is the right school for your daughter, it's obvious that she thinks it is. That's what matters in the end. If you can afford the cost, and she does an overnight and sits in on several classes (one is usually not enough), and still wants to go there, I don't see a problem with applying ED. I would, of course, want her to have a back up plan: tell her she must apply to at least one other school at the same time, because ED is never a sure thing. The worst that could happen if she gets in and goes to NYU is that she won't like it --- she can always transfer if that happens.</p>
<p>As an aside, I do understand your hesitations --- My daughter has settled on an ED school that she absolutely loves and at this point it is the only school where she can imagine herself. I like the school but can't help worrying up all sorts of "what if" scenario's about why it might not be as perfect as she thinks. And, although it looks like a good bet on paper, you never really know until the fat envelope arrives, so, at my insistence, she will also be sending two other applications out at the same time she sends her ED application, one to a rolling admissions school and one to a non-biding early admissions school.</p>
<p>I suggest that before allowing her to apply ED to NYU or any school, have her do some visits to several other schools, too, including schools that could be safeties and matches.</p>
<p>This will help ensure that she is making a wise decision to apply ED to NYU. It also will give her some options if she gets rejected or deferred ED.</p>
<p>Your D is probably on the verge of making the most important decision of her life so far. Part of your assistance should be doing things that teach her how to make thoughtful decisions instead of making quick decisions that may relieve her anxiety, but may not make her happy after she is faced with their consequences.</p>
<p>Also before allowing her to apply ED make sure that you can afford the college she's applying to.</p>
<p>You are so lucky to have your daughter chose a school close to home! But she does need to find a few more selections. Work out something like what Caroline and her daughter have done. From my point of view, after going through this selection stuff last fall, my son's first choice is where he is now going in a few weeks. You are lucky to have a daughter who knows what she wants so early in the process. I think I was lucky to have a son who did also. It wouldn't have been my pick in the end of all his choices; but I'm not attending college in the fall. And the more I learn about the place and have some interaction with them, it is a perfect fit for him!</p>
<p>As hard as this may be...I'd let your daughter make the choice. She is the one who will be going to college and she is the one who has to like the location and the school. Your (and she) are fortunate that financial aid is not a consideration. She is already familiar with NYC and you are not that far away. NYU is a wonderful school for students who want an urban college experience. The only thing I would suggest is that she have two more applications READY TO SEND in the event that she is not acceptd ED to NYU. It might be hard for her to do a good job completing those applications in the wake of disappointment.</p>
<p>Just one more word. Passion is a big part of this whole college process. I'd say listen to the passion your daughter has and pray that she gets in....the app numbers NYU had last year was enormous and their yield was up also I believe. Having to go someplace you don't really want to be can be a downer.</p>
<p>I'm with the OP on this one.... I don't think a few visits to friends at other schools (most of which were probably social-- not sitting in on classes, hearing about the requirements for different majors, eating in the dining hall) are representative of what college life is like.</p>
<p>I think NYU works great for some kids and is not so great for others. I think you're within your rights to insist on an overnight for ANY ED choice.... not just NYU, and to urge a few back-up visits "just in case", especially since it's not a perfect fit for her academic interests. Kids change a lot senior year, and while right now she may relish the thought of an urban "do it yourself" kind of college experience, by April she may be wishing she'd spent more time looking at a few more traditional campus type places.</p>
<p>It's also hard for kids to realize that the occasional trip to NYC where you're blowing $10 on a cab and $30 on dinner isn't going to be your life when you're at NYU and taking the subway and eating ramen noodles. It's a fun city when you have $ and can be a very tough place to live if you're on a tight budget.</p>
<p>Hey.......there are many types of students in this world.....just like adults. Some folks have a dream, follow it and never look back. Perhaps this girl is that kinda kid.</p>
<p>If your daughter is shy and may need some warm fuzzies, then NYU will not be the place for her, because your really do need to be your own advocate. Has she visted the school other than in the context of hanging out with friend? Have you straight up asked her, why does she want to attend NYU? what does she actually know about the school: academics, majors, placement, etc?</p>
<p>She really does need to sit in on some classes. It too my D taking a class at NYU junior year to see for her self that NYU was not for her.</p>
<p>I currently work in the west Village (around the corner from one of the NYU dorms) in addtion, I will be returning to NYU (PhD student,so I know that my experience is definitely different from that of an undergrad). If she happens to be placed in a dorm in the west village , the walk across town is not going to be fun.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like she focused more on NYC than NYU, would that be right?I have not read through all of these posts, but I would suggest having her sit in on some large core classes at NYU if possible. If you live too far, then I would have D sit in on some large classes at another school that is closer, so she gets a feel for it. I do not think that for some ppl the impersonal feel hits until one experiences it. ED would scare me too. You know your D best, and you can judge whether she would excel in a large school. You seem to have reservations, and I know that I would listen to my gut feeling.</p>