<p>We live right near New York City, and my daughter only wants to go to NYU! I feel terrible that not only will she miss the "college experience" by being in the city, but she already lives here! She's in the city all the time! Her decision has nothing to do with the academics - she just wants to be in the city. She doesn't even want to try Columbia, which at least has a campus, or Barnard, because she says "Why be near Harlem when you can be in the Village?"
Should I leave her alone and let her apply ED, which she wants to do? I worry that she will regret it come April when all her friends are leaving to go to other places, and she's basically home.</p>
<p>Has she visited or considered any schools in other cities? Does she know kids at other city schools?</p>
<p>You seem very confident that she will get in.....how about the list for an alternative outcome? Regarding you initial complaint which was NYC....it really matters not which school in NYC...campus or not. Perhaps your daughter isn't ready to go away from home. Also.....many kids transfer after their first year. Has your daughter seen any other colleges....other meaning outside of NYC? I'd say if it were me and my family......it is the student attending not the family. I believe that motivation and being where you want to be can affect a more succussful outcome. Try not to be disappointed....yet. The fat envelope has not arrived and perhaps you will have another say so later.....good luck.</p>
<p>Catherine:</p>
<p>I don't know about NYU but it is possible to be close to home and to be in another world. My S is a 15minutes walk from home, and he is having a real campus experience. He hardly ever calls home (well, it's only been a week). One reason he chose to go to H over Princeton whose academics he really liked was the location. He had a bit of a hard time imagining himself in the town.</p>
<p>I remember your earlier query aand the thread that grew up around it, and I may be in the minority but I still feel that she should apply ED where she wants to go. Just because she will be close to home does not mean you and she will need to act as though she is close to home--that is, she doesn't need to come home for weekends and you don't need to have lunch with her in the city between classes. If your concern is that her friends will be going to "better" schools, that's something else again, but it sounds as though your daughter has her mind made up and the continuing discussion may not be especially constructive. (She will need to apply to other schools anyway, in case she does not get in to NYU, and perhaps in the next couple of weeks as she starts preparing the various apps, she will change her mind about ED.)</p>
<p>My son never seriously considered the excellent state university that is practically on our doorstep. But if he had, he would have lived in a dorm and we would not have expected to see him any more often than we are now with him halfway across a continent. When he was in middle school we jokedly offered to move the family home to another city if he wanted to go to that school but felt it was "too close to home".</p>
<p>Boy, am I jealous! A kid who wants to stay close to home, wants a fine education, and wants the experience of four years in New York City! One ED application. (And, I assume, parents who can pay for it.)</p>
<p>You can use the extra money saved on applications, and go yourself to an elderhostel on the campus of your own choosing. ;)</p>
<p>Children should only be allowed to go to colleges where their parents want to visit.</p>
<p>I think it is HER life, HER decision. She has plenty of time to experience other locations during her lifetime. If she loves the city, the closeness to home, the culture and she is comfortable and familiar with it....hey. It is a GREAT school with lots to offer. I would suggest she has some back up plans as ED is no guarantee so maybe take a visit or two elsewhere to expose her to some other environments.</p>
<p>I agree with all the above. My S is in school in NYC too; we don't live there, but we're a 20 min bus ride away, so it was not such a big cross-country adventure as many kids have, esp CC ones. Well, he's at the exact right place for him, and we hardly ever see him. </p>
<p>It needs to be her choice, as long as there are no real downsides (like price). And if she makes a wrong decision, wouldn't you rather it was hers, not yours? And there's always grad school, career, etc, as chances to stretch her wings and fly farther away.</p>
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<p>here, here!! Great rule. Fortunately we lucked out on this score (well, except for the winter).</p>
<p>Catherine,</p>
<p>It will truly be a waste of her time and your money for your daughter to attend a school where she is not happy. You daughter is not committed to the school for ever. what is the worse that can happen, if the school is not a good fit for her, and NYU is not all that she thought it was going to be, she will transfer. </p>
<p>My daughter has friends who are a 4 block walk form the campus and is living in the dorms -the distance from their dorm to class is a farther walk, but they seem to be very happy. Overall if you are willing to pay for her to have the "entire college experience" living in the dorms etc, it can be the best of both worlds as there will be a level of interdependece that allows her to live as a college student and at the same time knowing that you are only a stones throw away if she needs you.</p>
<p>I would be more concerned with committing to ED at a school that happens to have a reputation for being one of the stingiest regarding financial aid and having a reputation for gapping.</p>
<p>What is "gapping" that NYU has a reputation for?</p>
<p>My S met tsdad's criteria of choosing a location his parents love to visit. Temporarily, tho, that won't be happening, as he chose Tulane in New Orleans :). For this orphan semester, he is going to a school 45 minutes from our home. No difference, though, in the feeling of a new college experience as he is living in the dorms, meeting new people, trying new things. We didn't allow him a car (and were actually shocked that Bates even allows that (on a lottery system), so we don't expect to see him any more often. College can still be a great growing experience for your D, as long as you emphasize what will be new in her experience, not what will be the same.</p>
<p>However, others have pointed out that she might not get in! On that note, why not visit other options with her - I wouldn't pressure her <em>at all</em> to replace her NYU love with these other options, but to have them available just in case. For these other options, I would go through the whole thought process - does she want her second choice to also be big city living, size of school, programs of interest. And then go through the visiting process. In the end, she'll have a back-up if necessary and it just might open her eyes, mind and heart to other ideas.</p>
<p>If you're concerned about her not getting away from home and experiencing a different sort of place, you might encourage her to study abroad for a term or a year (generally junior year is when this is done). With good planning, she can do this without slowing her progress or setting back her planned graduation date at all. Get her thinking about it early.</p>
<p>BTW, for those of you who don't know, my son is in LA. We're going to be there on Thanksgiving Day and then on to Palm Desert for a week. Our alleged vists to him are usually an excuse to go to Palm Desert--our third trip there.</p>
<p>I think you're ready for retirement, tsdad ;).</p>
<p>be happy that your child has a strong opinion about where she wants to be- that is a plus. You really have to follow their lead, esp if they have strong opinions. My daughter's 1st and 2nd choices were not mine nor her dad's choices. But I kept saying to myself "you've already been to college-it's HER turn" and she was looking for something quite different from our own college experience. And that is what she is getting now.....</p>
<p>My kid, who grew up in NYC, wanted to go to college in a city, but it couldn't be NYC under any circumstances. Got into top choice, a relatively short train ride away and had a great experience there. By the end of the second year though, having visited Columbia to see friends and stayed in the dorm, she commented on how silly she had been not to consider a great school like Columbia just because it was in NYC. She said she now realized that you can go away to college without leaving NYC. </p>
<p>While my kid loved her college experience, many of her high school classmates and our neighbors did not. Many of them ended up transferring to NYU because they missed the City so much. </p>
<p>It seems to me that your D knows herself. There are summers and other times to enjoy a different experience. The one suggestion I would make is that you INSIST your daughter stay over night in a dorm on both a week night and a weekend night before submitting that ED app. The fact she loves the Village doesn't necessarily mean she'll love NYU.</p>
<p>We questioned our daughter's choice not because we didn't like the school but because we thought she was a "country mouse" not a "city mouse." She persisted in her choice. In just two weeks she has done more EC activities than she did in all of HS. I call her twice a day because as I told her her life is more interesting. I think our children have a subconscious sense of what they like.</p>