<p>Here is the story. Dear D a very smart kid who work hard but not hard enough to get stellar grades. D didn't take the easy way out and took all AP allowed in her HS. D applied to top colleges (excluding Ivys) and got into highly ranked colleges for her major and rejected by her first choice. The merit aid awarded is not that much which will make a top college very expensive. My H says that D didn't get more merit aid because her grades are not really competitive and that colleges give merit aid to top performers. D is a well rounded kid and has lots of EC, leadership activities, languages, community service. What do you guys think? do you agree with my H ?</p>
<p>I’d say that in part it depends on the school. For instance, dd got merit aid from NYU but it was nowhere near what we needed to make it affordable. NYU has a reputation of being pretty stingy with aid in general (although they do have some generous scholarships).</p>
<p>Also it was the school’s judgment about how your daughter fit with their pool, a judgment which might be accurate or flawed, but is their right to make it.</p>
<p>Schools use merit aid as a tool to attract the students they want that might otherwise not enroll due to a better acceptance. They are not just rewards for merit. So you shouldn’t ever expect merit aid from reaches or matches - they are more likely to be from your safeties. The schools accepted your D, so they think she would be a fit. But if they gave more aid to others, then she didn’t fall into that ‘must really try to entice’ category for them.</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen, most merit money does seem to be attached to numbers in some way. Be it the top 1% of admits or top 10% of admits who also do a lot of community service. Some merit awards are more subjective. </p>
<p>However, the competition for merit money is especially fierce this year. Unless it’s the kind of merit money where the college says “All NMF get in-state tuition” or the like, then your student is competing with other qualified canidates and who knows why one gets picked over the other? Just like admissions itself. </p>
<p>Congratulations to her acceptance. Are there any other applications pending that might provide a less expensive option?</p>
<p>thanks all for your feedback. EngrMom when you say merit aid “” likely to be from safeties" do you mean the safeties would see my D as a top students based on her stats ??
pugmadkate, yes D has less expensive options but their ranking is lower. They are the top 15. The expensive option is top #2. So I’m thinking what is the advantage to pay additional $25k a year for a top #2 ? would it be significant better than a top #15 to justify the additional expense?</p>
<p>To heck with the ranking – which college fits your kid better? Academically, socially, and yes, financially, too.</p>
<p>Rankings are tools to sell magazines; please don’t give them so much weight.</p>
<p>Where will your daughter be inspired to do good work? Where will she feel comfortable? What makes sense from the perspective of the family finances?</p>
<p>Totally depends on the school. Some use merit aid to truly attract the caliber of student that would not otherwise attend. Others use them far less to reward merit and far more to discount the price to where a kid will choose it over a state school. Some do a combination of the two.</p>
<p>owlice, thanks for the heads up. The only little problem is that my dd likes the most the expensive option. The other one would be o.k. for her but wouldn’t be the best fit. So here I’m thinking if she had a higher gpa, maybe d would’ve received a more geneorus merit aid??</p>
<p>Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s too late now. What’s to be gained by second-guessing?</p>
<p>youdontsay. Nothing gained from second guessing 
however, my D says she want to do well and do her best effort which she didn’t do in HS. So, I would like this situation to be a learning lesson for her to help her know what she needs to change to do her best effort. I know if D did her best effort and didn’t get merit aid. Then, there wouldn’t be any regrets. Tried her best didn’t work move on. The situation here is didn’t try her best and luck was not on her side.</p>
<p>Aside–hmom5–please clear your private message box so as to receive message from me.</p>
<p>Some schools definitely go by numbers–we’ve seen kids with pretty good test scores want to take those tests over, because they feel scholarships may depend on stellar scores. I’m sure that GPA comes into play also. </p>
<p>But no reason to lose sleep over the past. This is a good lesson to any kid who didn’t do their best at any endeavor–actions can have consequences. If you don’t keep your college GPA above a 3.0, you may not get that internship or get into grad school. But teenagers are experts in “magical thinking”.</p>
<p>I have to agree with youdon’tsay. It is what it is. The schools have made their decisions and now it’s time for your family to make yours, based on the offers and FA packages you have in hand. </p>
<p>There’s is absolutely no reason to spend any energy speculating on why your daughter didn’t get more merit aid; you’ll never know anyway. Focusing on “what might have been” will only make your daughter feel bad – when in fact, she should be congratulated for her acceptances into such elite schools!</p>
<p>aliastoo, kids ALWAYS like the expensive option better, until it’s their money they are spending!!</p>
<p>If you are able to pay for the more expensive option (whether it hurts a lot or just a little), I’d bet the college knows that. I suspect they are very savvy in how they hand out their money – they may have offered your D <em>just</em> enough to entice you to seriously consider paying the difference, perhaps? </p>
<p>I think your H shouldn’t be speculating on whether better grades would have gotten your D more money; it’s pointless at best, and could be detrimental if he is telling your D this.</p>
<p>Time to make brownies or cake (or both!) and celebrate, methinks! Oh, with ice cream, too!! :D</p>
<p>I totally agree that rankings are so terribly overrated. In any case, the objective difference between a whole set of schools is negligible and the ratings overstate them. Far more useful is to look at location, school culture, etc.</p>
<p>owlice, you’re right. Kids doesn’t have an idea what it means to make $$.</p>
<p>Besides, the merit aid awarded. I wonder if this could be a learning lesson for my dd. She says she wants to do well but her actions are a little bit different. How to teach about actions vs consequences. How to explain to her that if she tries her best regardless of the outcome she wouldn’t have any regrets. How to teach without addding to her already difficult situation for her. She knows she’ll have to settle for the less expensive option.</p>
<p>Gosh, I wouldn’t use this time, while (it sounds like) she and the rest of you are still grieving, to teach her this life lesson. It’s like kicking her while she’s down. But that’s just me. </p>
<p>How do you know she didn’t work hard enough to get the stellar grades? I mean, yes, maybe she was making 90s when others were making 98s, but maybe she worked really hard and they cheated their way to the top grades. Maybe those with top grades are grinds who ONLY study. Who knows? Sounds to me like your D is great, what with her ECs and leadership and community service, and that she has some great choices. I’m up for the cake and ice cream! :)</p>
<p>:: hands out cake and ice cream ::</p>
<p>youdontsay, thanks for your comments. I’m too subjective to have a right jugdment at this point. </p>
<p>cake and ice cream it is.</p>
<p>alias, I just PM’d a friend that I hope I can be as rational next year, when it’s my time, as I implore others to be this year!!! :D</p>
<p>{{{Hugs to you}}}</p>
<p>thanks! youdontsay. It’s really hard, but we need to work with the option at hand.</p>