Need Information: legal battle w/ ex-husband over college funds

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hello. Thanks for reading this post. I will try to be as brief as possible with the "back story" that has led to my dilemma.</p>

<p>In our divorce agreement, my children's father agreed (after much wrangling) that we would each contribute a certain (not unsubstantial) monetary amount to a college fund for our 2 daughters. We agreed to put this money into the fund when a specific joint investment gave us its first pay-out. When the pay-out actually occurred, he was supposedly low on funds, so I allowed him to hold off putting in the $ for a while; he wrote a letter stating that when he put in the $, he would additionally match the earnings that my contribution had made. About 1 1/2 year ago, he told me that he had the money and had deposited it to the account. I found out, one month ago, that he had never put the money in. His initial reaction upon being confronted: fury and blustering; when I stopped all contact w/ him and he heard that I would be taking him to court, he began trying to negotiate. I have decided that I will take him to court if he does not put the full amount, along w/ interest earned, into the account.</p>

<p>A bit more information: I decided to let him "win" in the money part of the divorce agreement, in order to protect the children and myself from endless battle. I figured out what I would need to support my children for their dependent years, added my living expenses, and figured out what percentage of our joint assets this would equal. This amount was quite a bit less than 50% of our assets, and he agreed to this deal. I have never regretted it, because I think that it saved me much grief, and saved my children many repercussions. I am giving this information to explain that, from that point on (10 years ago), he has not been responsible for anything financially for our children; he will continue to not be held responsible legally for any $ to our kids, including any costs for college (except for the one-time deposit agreed upon for the college fund).</p>

<p>My daughter will be attending a LAC in the Fall. It is a school that is identified as having one of the highest tuitions of all American colleges. She will get no financial aid at all, and I accept that as fair; I will be able to carry the costs, if I'm very careful.</p>

<p>So..............such a long back story. And here, finally, is my QUESTION: In order to prepare myself for this legal battle, I am trying to figure out the true amount that I can expect to spend, yearly, on my daughter's college education........beyond tuition, room and board, etc. (Also, a clear sense of the percentage that tuition rises yearly). I've heard that the additional, "hidden", costs are quite high. I've Googled a bit, but so far have seen only vague predictions. So, I was hoping to get responses from parents of children who go to colleges with a similar high tuition. If you could relay what, and how much, the additional costs were/are, I'd be tremendously appreciative. </p>

<p>Please........I really don't need any admonitions about my choices; I feel that my original financial decision was the best one that I could make in the horrible situation that I found myself in. Although I now feel shock and a dawning bitterness at the realization, yet again, that I can not trust this man at all, I also feel blessed that I CAN provide my kids with an excellent education.</p>

<p>Thanks for any and all constructive feedback.</p>

2

<p>I would suggest looking at the financial aid website for this particular college. They will list the total COA - including allowances for books, travel and personal expenses. There will also be certain mandatory fees such as an activity fee, health service fee and so forth.</p>

<p>You could easily budget $1000/year for books, travel will vary tremendously depending on your proximity to the school, another $1000 - $2000 per year for personal expenses - which would include monthly spending money, dorm decor and so forth. Mandatory fees - about $800 per year. </p>

<p>I am basing these numbers on my son’s experience at a fairly pricey university.</p>

<p>The annual increase in tuition, room and board will vary quite a bit - even from year to year at the same school. Assuming 4-5% sounds reasonable to me.</p>

<p>A travel abroad experience will be an additional cost. </p>

<p>Most students purchase a laptop computer.</p>

<p>Hope this is helpful.</p>

3

<p>This is an example from Swarthmore:</p>

<p>What does a Swarthmore Education Cost?</p>

<pre><code>During the 2011-12 academic year, students and their families face the following expenses:
40,816
Tuition
334
Fee
6,200
Room
5,900
Board
$53,250
Bill for 2011-12 academic year

Add to these actual expenses to the following estimated expenses:
1,150
Books and Supplies
1,130
Personal Expenses
(varies)
Transportation to and from Swarthmore
$55,530
Total Education Expenses for 2011-12
</code></pre>

<p>I found this on their financial aid webpage.</p>

4

<p>rockvillemom,
Thanks for the great suggestion to visit the fin aid website of the school. I didn’t know that they provide some part of this information.
And…I forgot about travel abroad costs when I compiled my extra expenses list.
This is just the sort of information that I was looking for.
Thank you.</p>

5

<p>You also need to figure in the fact that tuition, room and board, and fees will undoubtedly and unfortunately go up every year. And if your kid is studying music, for example, there will be additional costs for lessons and sheet music.</p>

6

<p>Monthly phone and data charges. Many profs won’t admit it, but they do expect you to have a smart phone. Also, budget for more meals than you might expect. Holiday weekends often = no food service and if your daughter is an early riser, maybe no food on weekends until noon. Printer ink is very expensive/ lab fees/ computer breakdowns/ theft-very common on college campuses/ also medical fees not covered-eye exam in different state for example.</p>

<p>Huge expense no one talks about = unpaid internships/ required for some majors/very big at many schools, especially top schools</p>

7

<p>Thank you, whatever4 and Lindz812. Your responses are very helpful, and mentioned some costs that I would not have thought of.</p>

8

<p>Would you be willing to share the school’s name? That would tell us a lot. At my ds’s LAC, he never leaves campus and spends very little money. At some places, I would think the “incidental” costs would be quite high.</p>

9

<p>OP, I disagree with the smartphone requirement. My kids do not have smartphones, and there is NO NEED for one at any LAC. I can’t even imagine a class requirement for one (these are the same profs that mostly want the kids to turn off their laptops in class). Maybe the person who suggested it is a parent whose kid has told them this… You just don’t want your list to seem unreasonable, and that isn’t a reasonable expense.</p>

<p>If your kid is an international relations major, there is likely a requirement for study abroad. In most cases you pay the school’s tuition for that, but there are extra expenses for things like plane tickets.</p>

10

<p>If your daughter is interested in joining a sorority there will be additional expenses. Those costs can vary significantly, but for my daughter (at a LAC) the dues are $800/year plus some one-time new member fees at the time of joining.</p>

11

<p>Good point about the unpaid internships – note also that if the internship is in the summer and the student wants to receive credit, you will have to pay for those credits earned outside of the school year. </p>

<p>(To find a budgetary figure, look at the school’s annual tuition, determine the number of credits typically earned for a summer internship, and calculate accordingly.)</p>

12

<p>Depending on the major, a specific tripped out computer. Our S was required to have one with bells, whistles and $800 software that ended up around $2500. He also needed a digital camera, videorecorder, voice recorder, tripod, mic, etc. which totalled another $250. On the bright side, so far our S’s personal expenses for the year have been around $200 for whatever he has needed on campus. (extra food, Walgreen’s/CVS, etc.)</p>

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<p>One line item that varies considerably by student is their clothing/hair/nail budget. We know girls with weekly manicures, highlights and new dresses for every sorority party and other students who are more low maintenance. You know your own child and can estimate up or down from the standard budget provided by the school.</p>

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<p>I second the suggestion to consider your daughter’s likely class schedule…many classes entail additional lab fees…for example, science classes, art classes, foreign language classes, and also have various expensive supplies that a student must buy to participate in the class…goggles, art supplies, etc.</p>

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<p>This may sound off topic, but I’m wondering if, instead of going to court to get the money he agreed to give, you might have more luck by presenting his contribution as tax deductible? I’m not an accountant, but I have heard people (who are asking their parents to help pay for tuition) that the parents plan on writing it off. If he was doing alimony or child support, I believe he’d be able to deduct that on his tax returns, but he isn’t. </p>

<p>He just sounds like a difficult person and maybe he’d be open to this approach (especially if somehow you can set it up so it seems like he thought of the idea…)</p>

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<p>Child support is never tax deductible. Alimony is, but then it is also income on the recipient’s return. Whoever gets the exemption for the student will also be the one entitled to the education tax credits.</p>

<p>Buy a laser printer, not ink jet. HP/Lexmark etc. can be purchased from Staples, etc. for ~$80. Some of them are fairly compact and the paper trays fold into the printer when not in use. A laser ink cartridge should also be ~$80 and last a very long time. This is much more economical than ink jet printers and refilling those expensive cartridges.</p>

17

<p>Skip the smart phone…just looks like padding. No one I’ve ever heard of (prof for 20 years, know 100s of profs throughout the US) would ever assume kids have smartphones nor expect them to.</p>

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<p>You should plan for up to 10% escalation in tuition every year. The college web site may still have costs from previous years, giving you a better idea, but in general college costs increase much faster than in other segments of the economy.</p>

19

<p>S’s college requires students to buy their health insurance unless they are on a parental policy that meets or exceeds a checklist of specific benefits.</p>

20

<p>Here are the unexpected expenditures:</p>

<ol>
<li>A laptop a year. Cost of Mac ~$1200 printer comes free.</li>
<li>A smart phone every 2 year. Iphone4 or Motrola Atrix 4G ~$200</li>
<li>Flying to and from at least 4 times. ~$2000</li>
<li>Soroties charges. ~$700 per semester</li>
<li>Weekend dining. ~$50 a total of ~800 per semester.</li>
<li>Tuition increase ~5% but should consider overall expense increased by 5%.</li>
</ol>