Hi. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for almost a year now. I can handle it for the most part, and it comes in spurts, but can make completing assignments and studying for tests difficult. When I get into a mood, I tend to hide away in my room and cry for hours. It can be bad sometimes.
The thing is, I’m a very smart and naturally gifted student. I’ve been making all A’s this semester. Next year will be my sophomore year, and I’m considering taking around 5 AP classes versus the two that I’m taking this year. I don’t find school very hard, but sometimes my depression can make things difficult. Such as this weekend, I was in such an awful mood that I couldn’t do the homework assignments I had to do or study for a very important test.
I guess the question is should I take on a very rigorous course load if I am struggling with these issues? My best friend says I should and that I’m capable, no matter what the circumstances are, but internally I’m telling myself that I can’t, and currents events keep making that seem more apparent to me. Opinions, please?
Do you feel that your classes/work in any way worsen your depression or anxiety? If so I don’t think you should take more as it could be detrimental to your well being. Your health and wellness should take priority over good grades.
Agreed.
Even if you’re capable, it’s not a good idea to push yourself all the way to the breaking point, because the competition for good grades (especially as you progress through high school) can be extremely cutthroat. The impending deadlines, the need to do well so you don’t disappoint yourself/people around you, the desire to measure up to the others you’re compared with - all of those can pile on the more AP classes you take.
You could take on the rigorous course load, but then again, it could, as the above poster said, become a huge detractor to your mental health. (Even if, as you said, you don’t find school very hard.)
What you could do (assuming you’re seeing a therapist or other liscenced mental health professional) is try to get a 504 plan, so you have flexibility in what work you’re required to complete.
“I’m a very smart and naturally gifted student.” This is most certainly the problem, I’m not saying you’re not smart or naturally gifted…but you’re setting your expectations for yourself too high. You’re being blinded by a delusion.
To expand on what @Foreboding said (since it might come off the wrong way), there’s no way to quantify how smart, how gifted you are. Nobody can do it; not Harvard, not MIT, not Stanford, and nobody on this site.
You sound like you’re very capable, academically, and I hope you continue to succeed like you have been!
However, I recommend you don’t try to quantify your potential or intellect with ‘smart’ or ‘gifted.’ They’re not… going to help you, if you know what I mean. You’re going to create unnecessary stress on yourself, trying to live up to those titles’ connotations.
Is your best friend planning on taking the five AP course that you are? I hope you don’t feel pressured to take the same classes as them. You don’t have to pile up on AP’s on sophomore year, many kids don’t take any at all until they’re a junior. You have plenty of time to take AP courses later.
Why do people enjoy studying all day? I realize you have goals, but 5 APs in one year? I’m sure half of them are just GPA boosters… If anything, you should be taking AP Calculus and APUSH. I’m going into my junior year and I have 3 scheduled, 2 of which are known to be very difficult; I avoid wasting time on AP Psych, ES, etc.
I wouldn’t recommend 5 APs. That’s a huge jump and a huge amount of work. If you can’t currently complete 2 AP class loads of work (regardless of any unforeseen circumstances) I wouldn’t take 5. In fact, next year I’m a junior and I’m taking 3 AP classes after taking 1 this year, even though I finish all the work. You also want to have time to pursue ECs and interests outside of school.
Please seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor for your depression. and no, don’t take 5 AP classes. The stress of that schedule may exacerbate your current mental health situation. I speak from experience.
To see an alternative path away from so many AP courses, read How to Be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport. But, don’t use it to make yourself despair.
Don’t do it speaking from someone who’s been where you are
I have severe depression and wanted desperately to perform well and took 15 APs over the course of the last 3 years. It was not worth it. Combined with the stress of several leadership positions outside I wanted to commit suicide many times and ended up in psych wards. Trust me your health is so much more. It doesn’t mean anything if you go to a slightly better school because of a few more APs. When you get to college you’re gonna have to deal with depression and anxiety as well and its better if you figure out a plan now. There’s no point in achieving academically if youre unhappy all the time. School should be about finding what makes you happy not trying to live up to a standard. If I could do it again I wouldve done what made me happy and try to go to hypms etc. Remember that your health always come first. And really the most successful people are those who know what they want and pursue their passions.
Good luck I’ll be cheering you on!
" 504 plan, so you have flexibility in what work you’re required to complete."
A student needs to complete all the same requirements as everyone else to get the same credit. I have seen posts suggesting that colleges should waive requirements for students with disabilities as in “have some suggestions for parents whose kids are having difficulty getting colleges and universities to waive course requirements for students with disabilities”. Sure! Did you know the physical you are seeing skipped class 1, 2 and 3. That is absurd.
The solution is to take fewer classes at one time. The solution is not to attend a hyper competitive school even if you can get yourself admitted cause they are not going to make the school less competitive for you. Applying the Disabilities Act to mental health difficulties without consideration has been a huge mistake! My advice to a student is to modify your life so that your mental health issues are addressed and your school performance is not harmed.
Are you getting enough sleep? This is the most important thing. Sleep deprivation in a teen can permanently damage cognitive function. There is a downward spiral where teens don't get enough sleep, have trouble studying and then all the work takes longer creating more sleep deprivation, depression and hopelessness.
Are you in therapy? This is the 2nd most important thing that you could do
What do you do for enjoyment. That you would never put on a college application. Do you read, hang out with friends, play music, do art, cook. Make sure you do some things that make you happy. Happiness is learned behavior. If you can't learn to be happy in HS, when do you expect to learn it.
Which 5 AP classes? Some AP classes represent a full-year of college work. These are generally very hard. Some AP classes represent a semester of college work, and when spread out over a year of high school, are generally very reasonable. 5 sounds like a lot to me.
You should challenge yourself, but don’t take anything that is going to impact your sleep.