<p>sooz no disrespect intended but quite simply, If it’s not a good idea when it’s your money, you can’t say it is with somebody else’s. I am in a profession quite simply where If I wasn’t willing to go the route I suggest myself, I simply shouldn’t advise people to do so with theirs. </p>
<p>My point to some of these kids is that if you wouldn’t use your own money, why should mom and dad? Why be angry at them? As a parent I would not withhold from a child that wanted something so bad that they were willing to go it alone.. In fact I’d be impressed at their dedication to such a goal.</p>
<p>I followed the advice on this thread and talked to my mom; she hadn’t realized that the “teasing” was bothering me. She also made an interesting point: my dad wants me to go to state school so they don’t have to take out loans or worry about going into debt (apparently he was dead-set against getting a new car last winter, even though our old one basically didn’t work, because he didn’t want to take out a loan). She said that it wasn’t his decision, since she takes care of all the finances, and she would prefer that I study my chosen major and be happy for my four years of college, instead of going to a school I didn’t like as much because of the low price.</p>
<p>However, I am going to do a bit more research on state schools to (hopefully) find one that appeals to me a bit more than the one I applied to previously… that way I’ll have more money to buy a bigger cardboard box. ;)</p>
<p>Chelly, You sound like a level headed person and your parents must be so proud of you. I think that it would be a great idea to keep all of your options open, and to research some schools that your parents feel that they can manage in case the more expensive ones are not affordable after aid.</p>
<p>Terrific work to strike up a positive conversation, although I do have trouble with a mom saying it’s not the dad’s decision. But maybe she means she’s on top of the finances of the family, he isn’t, so she can understand how to borrrow and repay money. Some people are so unwilling to borrow a cent, by the way they were raised, that you can’t talk with them about loans in any way, shape or form. </p>
<p>But I think of education is an investment. A problem is that payback on an MT major isn’t as sure or predictable a path as many other majors. That’s why I suggest so strongly that you also use your time during college to build up a dayjob skill. You might find yourself for years doing free performing to build up a resume, post-college. If you take some education courses, maybe you’ll find you can teach drama at a YMCA or afterschool program. If you minor iin computers, perhaps they’ll always be work “somehow.” Then the repayment of a student loan becomes possible. </p>
<p>I think there’s a gender consideration for girls, since a lot of stage parts for girls begin ages 17-25; so many “ingenue” parts. For boys, a lot of parts are written for ages 25-35. To me, that’s a reason for a girl not to want to age too much before she even begins studying seriously. If someone tells a girl, interested in trying out in MT, to “wait” for her BA and “then” go study at the graduate level, by the time she graduates she’s finding fewer parts, and other go-getters who began earlier have the resume of experience she doesn’t. It’s competitive at these different age brackets for girls compared to boys. I don’t have all the answers, I’m just passing along what I’ve learned along the way from 2 kids who pursue performing arts in college and postcollege.</p>
<p>I want to applaud you for initiating the conversation with your family, though.
It is all about communication. It doesn’t end, either. Recently I had to ask my mom to stop “teasing” me about something and I’m north of 55 years old! She had no idea it bothered me. It makes me look at my D and want to ask, “How’s it going” all the time.</p>
<p>There are people who think teasing is a fun way of relating–I’m not one of them–and most of the little ones in my family don’t like it either. I’m not a little one, but maybe one who’s never grown up.</p>
<p>Now that college cost are staring them in the face they want you to have a financial safety school. I make my D apply to our flagship and local state schools and several LAC where she was in the top 25% so she could get merit scholarships and yes, she got some full rides and other gave her nice merit ad packages. However, she also applied to her dream Ivy League school, was admitted and is attending. </p>
<p>It’s called planning so you have many good options come March/April 2008, your parents are smart, so please listen to their advise.</p>
<p>Suppose you get in to NYU but they’ll only give you $20K and expect $30K from your family towards the 50K it costs to attend. </p>
<p>And you also get into a less famous private school with a decent theater program that awards $30K towards a $38K cost to attend.</p>
<p>Then the state school comes in with $7K towards a $10K cost of attendance, but there’s no theater program. Or gives you no financial aid.</p>
<p>Should you spend the 3k or 10K over at the state school? </p>
<p>One family might say: "I can “save” 27K on her college costs (30-3) while another family says, “Why should I waste 3-7K a year sending her somewhere she can’t study what she wants?”</p>
<p>I think in Spring you’ll be comparing offers and parents will ask you “how much is it” while you’ll be trying to get them to understand the question as “is the education worth the difference, and if so, is it worth borrowing to obtain that differential benefit.”</p>