I am about to begin my senior year of high school this fall. I think that I am an average student with a 3.5 GPA, though I do put my best effort into my school work. Any free time I have is spent doing what enjoy most, theater. I spend hours a day taking dance classes, rehearsing for shows, and taking voice lessons. I also am a high school intern at our local children’s theater. We teach classes, help tech shows, and do a lot of observing. Ever since I was a child I have always dreamed of going to school in New York. For one there are multiple schools that have a musical theater major. I would be able to earn a degree in what I want. I love the atmosphere of the city and it would be amazing to spend college learning in a place that has so much to offer in that area. Going to school and living in New York would also allow me the opportunity to audition for jobs. My mom has always told me that if I really want something I should go after it. But suddenly she’s changed her mind. She is completely against the idea of me going to New York. She would like me to go to a school in a Nebraska where we live. The problem is that there aren’t any schools here that have a musical theater program. Yes you can study theater and music but it’s not what I want. I feel as though she is forcing me to go to a school near by and study something that I have no interest in. She has suggested as a compromise that I stay here two years and then become a transfer student. But I think that is two whole years that I could be training and studying in the field I want and getting so much more hands on experience. I feel like going to college is a major step in becoming an adult. I believe that ultimately the decision should be mine. But my mom doesn’t seem to agree one bit. She doesn’t want to listen to anything I have to say and when I try to talk to her about schools she shuts me down immediately. The schools in New York are more expensive then most of the in state schools. But I do think I would be able to earn scholarship money. My parents do want to help support me financially with college but I will be helping pay. I told them I would pay for my entire college if that’s the only way I could choose the school I wanted. I’m very torn and I don’t know what to do. Help?
Do you know if is it because they assume that colleges in New York will be too expensive, or because they do not want you leaving Nebraska for non-financial reasons?
If a school in New York or other place give you a comparable net price to that of a school in Nebraska that your parents approve of, would they still disapprove of you going to that other school?
But be realistic. New York University is expensive and gives poor financial aid, so do not get fixated on it as your dream school.
Try re-posting this on the Musical Theater Forum.
Near the end of your post you have it right. You want to be an adult? Go to any school you want, that will accept you and that you can pay for. Once you are 18 they cannot control your behavior. But remember, they are over 18 also, so you cannot control their behavior. It would be unfair of you to try to require them to pay for your wishes. Your best bet is to show solid reasons why your wants are justifiable, and then try to persuade them into seeing it your way.
You dreamed of going to school in NY. What did you do to make your dream a reality? Did you work and save up a lot of money? Are you a top scholar, to earn scholarships? Are you a top athlete, or musician to earn scholarships? Are you such a skilled actor/singer/dancer that you’ll earn scholarships?
Your mom told you if you want something to really go after it, right? She is correct. But you going after it is not the same as Mom making it happen for you.
Get the facts, present your case, good luck!
Yes they say it is for finanical reasons but the schools are pretty close in price. I’m looking at Marymount Manhattan in NYC.
If you can get a scholarship, great. Do what you want. But if your parents pay part of the cost, then they have veto power. It’s just that simple.
If money is a problem for them, listen to them. Ask questions. They might be embarrassed by their finances. Lots of parents want more for their kids than they can buy. Consider this when you talk to them. Be gentle, not aggressive.
If you want to work together you need to know where they are
You have to find a way to change the dynamic in your conversation. That means that you want her to listen, but you also need to listen to her and to not have a one sided conversation. If you are both going to put ideas on the table there is the chance that you will have to agree to her points in the end so maybe you start off acknowledging that. You might put together materials such as the results of Net Price Calculators for various colleges. Living in NY means there are more costs involved, rent/room/board is higher, you need more spending money. Also look for MT colleges closer to you–read the MT forum. Ask your mom to explore colleges with you in and out of state with you both keeping open minds for a period of time. Did you mom tell you how much she will pay for a local school?
How do you propose to pay any of it? Do you have savings to contribute? Have you been working summers, especially this summer? You can’t expect it to come from jobs in NY. Maybe a few thousand a semester from a work/study type job. Your target school is 52k. Do they give any scholarships?
You are going to become an adult no matter if you stay or go but paying for college isn’t something you can do alone and many many people are not willing to pay for a private school in NYC.
I don’t know if either is a suitable choice, but a quick search reveals that both Creighton U.and Nebraska Wesleyan U. offer a BFA in Musical Theater. Of course if what you really want is to be in New York City, those choices won’t make you happy.
One thing you want to point out to your mother is that transferring into a Musical Theater BFA program may very difficult, or require an extra year of study, as you might not have taken the necessary coursework at a school without that major. Some programs may not even take transfers. It’s worth investigating at the specific school you’re targeting.
You can’t pay for your entire college. You can’t get the loans needed without parent cosigners and your parents won’t cosign those loans. YOU can only borrow $5500 as a frosh.
You need to work with your parents. Find out how much they’ll pay each year.
Manhattan College costs the same was WHAT school?
What are your test scores?
Since your mom has suggested transferring after two years, you need to tell her that transfers rarely get good aid or scholarships. Those are for incoming frosh only because schools try to seat the best incoming class because it helps with their rankings. Your mom probably doesn’t know that. It can cost a LOT more to transfer than to go as a frosh.
Your mom is likely worried about an 18 year old away in NYC.
@mariamaria. Have you made yourself familiar with the MT audition process? Have you started picking out audition songs and monologs yet? The MT admissions process is quite different than other majors and can often be more competitive than admissions to any IVY. Most MT applicants apply to 10-20 programs and are lucky to get accepted to one. You say you do not want a theater or dance program, yet MMM only has a theater major with a MT minor. You need to get on the MT forum and read everything you can about the audition process, admissions rates and MT financial aid. Also keep in mind you can only take out loans for about $30,000 total over 4 years. Your parents would have to co-sign for anything else. $30,000 may not even cover 1 year at many MT programs.
@mariamaria13 where in nebraska are you? near omaha or lincoln? Or out in a quieter area?
I’ve got to believe you can get the small-urban or even full-urban environment within a 6-8 hour drive without going to school in NYC. I wouldn’t have expected a place like Bloomington, Indiana to have culture worth a darn without going up to Indy, but the campus and its programs create such a critical mass that they have their own opera, theater companies etc.
If you need that urban vibe, why on earth would you not consider Chicago? Even Minneapolis-St. Paul, or Denver, if you live further west. You do NOT have to play the game with the NYC schools. Vote with your feet!
Full disclosure, I was raised in metro NYC and I think many people there are way too freakin’ full of themselves, looking down their noses at flyover states and smaller cities. Dating myself here, but I was in elementary school when this issue of the New Yorker magazine was published:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/View_of_the_World_from_9th_Avenue
You need to be awarded scholarship money as a freshman that is renewable for 4 years. Transfers don’t get much aid. You yourself take take a student loan for:
freshman 5,500
sophomore 6,500
jr 7,500
sr 7,500
My D just went through the audition/application process for BFA MT programs and will be starting her program this fall. It is, indeed, a different beast than “normal” college admissions. Please go onto the MT forum; we would’ve been lost without it! I strongly encourage you to get on that forum ASAP and to read as much as you can, especially since you’re going into your senior year. This whole audition/application process is long and involved, and, if you’re just getting started, you have some catching up to do. I’m not saying that to discourage you at all; I just want to impress upon you the need to find out exactly what is involved and get working on it if you haven’t already been.
Nebraska Wesleyan has a great program, and there are many, many fantastic programs that aren’t in NYC. If, after you’ve researched programs and the process more, your mom is still reluctant to have you go to NYC, it’s ok; NYC can wait a few years. You definitely don’t have to go to college there in order to succeed there. Yes, a few programs there allow students to audition for outside, professional productions, but there are also programs outside NY that encourage this (for example, The University of the Arts in Philly, where my D will be attending, does), and not all NYC schools do.
Please let your mom know that people who transfer into MT programs, even from other MT programs, start over as freshmen. They are rarely able to start as sophomores. So, the cost would be greater, especially since transfers don’t often receive as much aid as freshmen.
How much will your parents pay annually for you to attend college? Let’s start there.
Transfering is very costly and as far as I know is not possible for MT. However start now working toward a Plan B because admissions are incredibly difficult. I you can’t do MT what other majors interest you? What about universities near NYC with other majors as well as /or MT ? Near Chicago? The Twin Cities ?
And as said above : how much can your parents afford and have you run a few NPCs?
OK, I have a major in technical theatre (majored at a state school.) Worked in the field for over a decade including some of the top houses in New York. I have two children who worked in theatre professionally most of their childhood for fun and are still involved despite having no interest in majoring. Most of the kids we know pursue musical theatre (and that’s really a ton of them with dozens of shows under their belt, professional training and MT college coaches they work with for a year prior to college auditions.) The vast majority do not study in New York. Why? Well, for starters, many of the best known programs aren’t even IN New York. Most theatre kids drool over Carnegie Mellon and that’s in Pittsburgh. Secondly those “multiple schools” take like 10 to 20ish kids a year (and only half girls, and maybe only one of your particular “type.”) There simply isn’t enough room for all the MT kids to go to New York. Lastly, the New York schools are incredibly expensive and the last thing you want coupled with a musical theatre degree is a mountain of debt. There are some scholarships sure but you’d be lucky to get one that covers a 1/3 of tuition (in a city where schools range up to 70K a year.) It’s a misnomer that to make it in theatre you just have to dream hard. The reality is you have to be incredibly smart with real business sense and practicality.
I’m not suggesting you give up your dream. I actually agree that being a transfer student is not the best idea in this major. I’m suggesting you broaden your perspective. Look beyond New York. You mom might compromise on a school in say, Indiana or Oklahoma (some great programs and not quite as far away.) She may be more willing to compromise if she sees you dropping the “New York at all costs” mentality. If you have to stay in Nebraska for financial reasons, don’t discount the benefit of being a big fish in the small pond when it comes to theatre training. Being in a program where you get leads can be more growing than being in a program where you dance in the ensemble for 4 years. You’ll have more opportunity at regional theatres in Nebraska than in off-off broadway non-union houses in Manhattan.
Personally, I’m not a fan of the B.F.A. You’re mom is hardly the only parent who wonders if they really should be spending 60K a year so their kid can take dance and voice lessons all day (some BFA’s have an academic component but others have none.) We know more than a few highly talented kids who opted for B.A’s because they had other interests in theatre like stage management or directing and many of the the MT BFA schools made no room for that type of exploration.
Manhattan is not where you want to go as a student. It’s an exciting town and a great place to see theatre. There is not nearly as much opportunity as you think there is for a student. All these jobs you think you’ll be auditioning for… for starters, you aren’t equity and so you’ll be the bottom rung at any auditions- “just sit here with 200 girls for 4 hours and if we have time for non-union, maybe we’ll let you walk in the room before we decide you are too short.” If you got a role, how exactly would you do that and school? Pro theatres rehearse during the day and into the evening. No, do your research. Like someone above said, you are already behind. If your mom rejects options that are OOS but closer to home, then focus on your Nebraska options. As often said in the business, conquer your area first. Get a degree. Audition at regional theatres. Do summer stock and pay your dues. Go to New York when you have a decent resume and a ton of savings. Then you might actually have some opportunity there.
Finances are a HUGE issue with college. Go to an affordable school (and it does seem that there are options in your state with your major) and see if you can do a year as an exchange student in NYC.
What are your stats ?
Have you read the non fiction book _Drama high _
I spent a lot of my career in NYC (not now, but formerly) I also looked at going to school there and decided not to. It’s not worth it. It’s extremely expensive and the degree that you’d get would not be necessarily better than you’d get elsewhere.
Remember, college is just 32 weeks or so a year. That leaves 20 weeks to do whatever you want, wherever you want. You can pound the pavement (literally and figuratively) and get a summer internship in NY. That will be much less expensive for you than going to school there, and will help get the same outcome for you. I’d do that. You could also go to graduate school in NY if necessary.
Check out Muhlenberg too…