<p>JHS, he says she’s an alum. Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt. :)</p>
<p>I think I would talk to your mom and ask her if there isn’t some reason other than financial that is really bothering her. You say that your siblings all went to local schools and your mom does not want you going where she went to school. </p>
<p>Is it that she is afraid you will move away and not come back to Missouri when you graduate?</p>
<p>Is there something about MU that really bothered her in the past or she thinks you are not ready for?</p>
<p>Is it that to be able to pay for all of you to go to college the first two siblings had to go to a cheaper, local school and it wouldn’t be fair for you to go out of state?</p>
<p>Consolation:</p>
<p>From post #1:
</p>
<p>I think some people may be getting confused by the Missouri/Mizzou/MU/Michigan/U-M alphabet soup.</p>
<p>I took Mikey’s original post to mean that his parents both went to the University of Missouri, also known as Mizzou (the “official” brand) and MU to those of us here in the Show-Me State. And that his siblings also went there or somewhere in Missouri.</p>
<p>University of Michigan is known as U-M. </p>
<p>I live in Missouri and vacation in Michigan and have worked on campus-specific recruiting materials for both schools. People in Michigan wonder why the M on my hat is narrower and not dark blue. That’s because it’s a Mizzou M and it’s black. Similar school colors (black and old gold vs. maize and blue), same state initial. People in Michigan are sure there is something wrong with the black and gold “M” flag my mother flies at her Michigan lake cottage.</p>
<p>I agree with others that what doesn’t compute here is the idea that Duke or UNC would be OK, but not Michigan. There may be something other than the cost that is concerning the mom.</p>
<p>As a former Mizzou student (many years ago) and a current Ohio and former Michigan resident, I will throw my two cents into this discussion</p>
<p>You definately need to determine why your mother is set against UM (Michigan). Talk to your dad.</p>
<p>Have you checked to see if UM will grant you in state tuition? Many states (not all) waive the OOS tuition supplement if they award you merit assistance. I don’t know about Michigan but it could be worth a fair amount of savings to find out.</p>
<p>UM and UNC are two of the hardest state flagships to get into for OOS students. I don’t believe that Mizzou’s selectivity is quite as high, except for the J school, plus you are in state.</p>
<p>Duke is a non-ivy ivy-like school located in the south. Their need blind admissions and non-loan FA is in the top tier of private schools - much greater than the state flagships. Even if your family income is up there (6 figure level), many of the highly selective schools are still offering partial FA to students whereas the state schools are not.</p>
<p>I echo another poster who summed it up by stating that you should wait until the acceptance announcements are out at the end of March and then weigh all of your options for each of the schools where you are accepted. Good luck. You will get a great education at any of the schools discussed here.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Count me among them, obviously. :)</p>
<p>I went back and reread the first post, and indeed he did say his parents were Missouri alums.</p>
<p>Seems to me there are a number of things that don’t compute in story. Kids often leave important points out if they don’t support the kid’s case, or claim money and scores that they haven’t received yet.</p>
<p>“But it’s equally tough to justify paying that much more for UNC or Duke, two places that, in terms of overall strength, are not quite up to the standard of Michigan.”</p>
<p>JHS - Why do you say that? I think of these three as equivalents, all at a very high standard.</p>
<p>Just to defend the selection of Duke and UNC: One important factor in kid’s selection is the weather. Believe or not, this factor can sometimes be the deal maker(or breaker). In addition, from the perspective program strength, UNC and Duke are on par with (or better than) Michigan for many programs. In addition to the cost of attending and FA factor for OOS students, which are parent’s favorite subject, UNC and Duke may come out ahead.</p>
<p>Full Disclosure: This is an UNC alum talking. So I am biased to some degree.</p>
<p>I don’t know about Missouri, but in the South people would be perplexed by the idea that Duke is not up to the level of Michigan. They think it’s up to the level of Harvard.</p>
<p>Well, of course they’re all wonderful universities, and all capable of providing absolutely first-rate education to any undergraduate. But I don’t think overall Duke is up to the level of Harvard, or really anywhere near it. </p>
<p>I looked at the three major attempts at international university ranking – which give a lot more weight than USNWR to things I, personally, respect. One of them, QS, has Duke and Michigan virtually tied at 14-15, with Carolina a good way back. The others, the Chinese ARWU (which virtually ignores humanities) and the Times of London, both have Michigan about the same place, but put Duke and Carolina much closer together about 10-15 places (and a meaningful scoring difference) behind. So maybe I was a bit hasty to say that they (or Duke, at least) is clearly a step behind Michigan, but I’m reasonably certain that neither of them is a step ahead, either. Other than in weather and basketball and, in Duke’s case, preppiness.</p>
<p>I agree with most of the other posters. I have visited UMich and I agree it is a wonderful school. But it costs 3x what our state schools cost, and we have financial concerns. You college kids are now approaching if not have attained adulthood by now, and you should also be aware and conscious of things like family finances. Just because FAFSA numbers say that your family can pay for a school does not mean that they can without seriously hurting their quality of life. I’ve known families who have truly ruined their finances paying for colleges they could not afford. </p>
<p>College is only one thing your parents have to support. There are a lot of other responsibilities. If YOU can come up with the money to pay for UMich, that’s one thing, but if it someone else, like your parents, who need to pay, their feelings about it are paramount. I also would not recommend any student to take out the necessary loans, even if they could get them, to pay for UMICH over Mizzou. Not worth it. You are very lucky to have solvent parents who can pay for your college. It puts you in a very privileged category. And would they pay for you to board at college? That’s even more privileged. Most kids commute to a local school and work part time to pay for it.</p>
<p>Hunt: (Just to add a little levity to the thread). People in Missouri do think Duke is at the same level (or higher) academically than Michigan. However…Mom’s hesistancy could all be basketball-related.</p>
<p>True Mizzou fans have not yet forgiven Duke graduate Quin Snyder for nearly destroying our basketball program. Good looks and three Duke degrees did not make him a good coach!</p>
<p>Maybe the OP’s mom is my age and remembers how Michigan barely beat Mizzou in 1976 in the Elite 8 and she still holds a grudge. Or maybe she doesn’t like her in-laws who are Michigan grads.</p>
<p>And UNC basketball coach is Roy Williams, who used to coach at kansas (it is neither a proper name or a proper place and therefore should not be capitalized.) Lots of hatred for roy boy here in the Show-Me State.</p>
<p>OK, olderwisermom, you just ruined my day by mentioning Quin Snyder. </p>
<p>Mikey, I second the question from my fellow Missourian: Why did you tell CAFNR you are a future student of theirs if your intention is to switch to CAS? Some students switch when their interests change, sure, but it sounds like you are gaming the system, knowing full well that the competition for merit money is a bit less heated at CAFNR. If you switch, there goes the merit money, by the way. Something to keep in mind when you are tallying future costs.</p>
<p>Of course, if you mean biochemistry or agricultural economics, which are both in CAFNR, I apologize for the misunderstanding.</p>
<p>mikey, another thought, this one less gripey than my previous post. You say that just your father accompanied you to Michigan. Is there any way you can get your mother to go for a visit with you? I know it may seem excessive to her to visit twice, but that is not unusual. If you want to add ‘legitimacy’ to your second trip, line up interviews with the undergraduate program directors of the programs you are interested in, and ask about research opportunities, summer internships and so on.</p>
<p>One of the schools my youngest was interested in is very far away and not so easy to get to. I agreed to take her, but had my fingers crossed on the way there that she wouldn’t like it. She loved it–and so did I. I could easily see her there, and I could see that it was likely to offer some of the things she was looking for. It took being there to change my opinion.</p>
<p>As it happens, she decided to go to Mizzou instead, for a long set of reasons (but not because either of her parents objected). She may well do a semester or year at the remote place, though, because they do have a particular program that fascinates her.</p>
<p>I understand the desire to get away from the familiar, and I support it. However, I also understand that many high school students think their parents are a lot better off, financially, than they really are. And sometimes one parent is more cautious than the other about college expenses, and that can lead to some stress.</p>
<p>I do think you should try to get your mom to Ann Arbor for a visit. If her objection is not based on $$, perhaps seeing you there would give her another perspective.</p>
<p>It’s definitely not the fact that my mom is worried about it costing more. She just keeps telling me how it’s cold and how it gets dark so early and how it’s just depressing…yeah IDK she’s being weird about it. I just want to know if I’m justified in going to Michigan over Missouri</p>
<p>We live 20 minutes from Umich and both parents were very anti-umich until we visited. I brought both along with me to Campus Day and voila! I am writing to you from my dorm at Michigan. So i second the idea of a second visit-- but don’t bring her in Winter. 
Which means, oh, from about October to April? </p>
<p>I don’t think the winter is depressing, but I grew up here. I have heard a lot of people from warmer climates say it’s hard to watch everything die every year. I’ve never seen it that way, the world is just sleeping-- it’s peaceful, and the snow is pretty. Especially when you don’t have to drive in it. It is cold, but you learn to dress for the weather. I have been sweating my *** off all winter this year because I crocheted a wool scarf and bought thermal underwear. The winter isn’t difficult to cope with if you know what you’re doing, and you catch on quick once you move here, I gather. It’s the heat in the summer I can’t stand!</p>