Oh, Southern, that is a huge sacrifice and as it becomes less theoretical and now maybe possible, part of me wishes we had never gone down this road.
But if your kid feels ready, and his old school and new school think he is ready, and you agree with all the “good reasons”, what is a parent to do? What we always do for our kids. We sacrifice.
Just wondering if anyone experienced a similar reaction from friends/acquaintances:
When mention was made this fall to a few friends/acquaintances at school that DC was investigating BS options, about a handful of parents said something to the effect of “oh yes, my DC was HEAVILY recruited by Very Elite Boarding School and would have gotten a full scholarship to attend!”
I know that these kids took advantage of the invitation to take the SAT/ACT in middle school, and I’m assuming that the assurances of acceptance and full scholarships were somehow inferred from the letters these families received after the tests were taken. We chose not to have DC take these tests (in hindsight maybe we should have?) so we’ve not seen any of these letters nor have we asked to see one. But I’m now really curious about their content and tone. Do kids really get promises of admission and full scholarship? I’m skeptical.
Accordingly, among our DC’s friends and their parents, there is a belief that it’s easy to get into BS. Just imagine what comments will be made (or thought) if DC is not accepted into a BS on M10… That said, DC is a confident kid and can certainly handle the heat knowing how tough admissions are into these schools. I just find it interesting that this perception of BS admissions is out there.
@applenotfar I would not have been able to resist asking each one “How did you decide not to let him/her go?” 
@AppleNotFar What they received was a standard recruitment letter, a marketing tool no less. They somehow (maybe because of the tests they took) got in the school’s database so they get these letters. They are welcome to apply but once their applications are in, there’s no advantage just because they received such a letter.
We have received dozens of generic letters…just from registering for the test. Marketing junk. T
@6teenSearch ‘Can it be “proven”… I don’t think so.’ – If it cant then someone shouldn’t say it is better
“whether or not BS offer superior educational opportunities depends upon where the student lives.” – Totally agree. As I stated, I was only comparing Greater Boston. Clearly Maine can not compete.
@soxmom – To answer your question why are we applying to DS?
Some background – I homeschool him now and personally, I believe he would have a better opportunity for growth if I continued homeschooling him. We do not live in one of the top public school towns I have mentioned. He is not a math/science guy so Mass Academy and Advanced Math High Schools are not a good fit.
So given that background, my son wants to attend a DS school and fire his home school teacher. We do not have a strong HS in our town so he rather not attend it.
Please note, I think you miscategorized my position. I am not strongly supporting public school. I am strongly objecting the false narrative of the BS as it pertains to educational superiority over the top Greater Boston public high school and I think I have defended this position well.
I’ve done many things as a parent that were different from what “most people” do. When you have two strong-willed children at once, you get used to being pushed and pulled in directions you never expected. Come to think of it, my children’s experiences were always worse when I chose the ordinary, conforming path. But boarding school is one thing I NEVER EVER thought I would consider. Now I champion it as the best possible choice for my children. Mine, not anyone else’s. And for my children, not me. Many comments in this long thread resonate with me. The expense. The heartache. (On my part, not theirs.) But like @soxmom, I attended a large, excellent public high school. I do not remember it fondly. I am very grateful that my children’s high school experience will be so different from my own. And I do believe the boarding component is crucial: the fact that students are living among their teachers – generally very intelligent, sensible, good-hearted people who really care about the kids, BUT NOT TOO MUCH, not in the overwhelming, overinvolved, overidentified way their parents do. And I’ll end there because the microwave is beeping.
@AppleNotFar – There are probably a lot of kids that could get into BS with full aid and their parent chose not to have them apply for a whole host of reasons. That is not to say the ones that are in would have gotten bumped down and just means that there could have been more competition.
I would assume if all the possible kids that could apply did apply BS would have an admission rate closer to the Ivy league in the middle single digits instead of the mid teens.
Some public schools are better funded than others. And whether teachers are overworked will depend on who you ask (different people with the same workload may well view their overworked status very differently) and the particular school. Presumably the fact that each teacher’s personal ability has its limit isn’t just true for public school teachers, is it? And doesn’t that apply to pretty much everyone?
@saillakeerie, I meant that they are overworked with mandatory tasks and underfunded compare to BS teachers, and are less likely to provide extra supports to the students.
Also, because of the human limit that applies to pretty much everyone, it’s hard for the public school teachers to just over come the lack of time and funding by personal ability.
My public school: teachers teach 4 classes x 27 students per class = 108 students
Boarding school: teachers teach 3 classes x 13 students per class = 38 students
Public school teachers don’t assign anywhere near as much writing assignments, essay driven tests, etc. given the shear numbers they teach.
Boarding school teachers have other responsibilities like dorm duty and coaching which add to the length of their day.
@SouthernHope maturity level is the key.
That’s very true. Ivies are much larger schools too. Only a small segment of the population is BS’s potential customer base. The vast majority of families are not considering BS. In that sense, EVERY BS is a hidden gem!
@doschicos It is very important to note that this is in your area.
In Greater Boston
Advanced Math and Science Academy Charter 12.3 : 1
Ma Academy for Math and Science 13.1 : 1
Lexington 12.4 :1
Weston 11.5 : 1
“Public school teachers don’t assign anywhere near as much writing assignments, essay driven tests, etc. given the shear numbers they teach.” – A false generalization!
@laenen, It seems @doschicos’s assertion was based on a fairly simple and straightforward logic based on a (small) sample data. Do you have any logic data to support your claim?
Yup. that’s why I stated MY public school. 
However, stated teacher/student ratios are not reflective of class sizes.
I hold fast to my belief that most BS give you more writing.
BTW, who the heck can afford to live in Lexington and especially Weston?? No doubt, they are fantastic public schools but they are definitely outliers.
And I do agree with you @laenen that BS are the only places to get a stellar education but Lexington/Weston aren’t an option for most folks either.
Our LPS is not an option for DS. With nearly 3000 students, he’d get lost and fall thru the cracks and stick to his sports/school/home routine. The reason BS is for him (and us) is that it requires him to take responsibility for all of his STUFF now…in 10th grade… and by stuff I mean tangible, like laundry and toiletries and eating food that makes him feel good and perform well as an athlete… and intangible, like managing his time, seeking his on help, making and keeping friends (tough for an introverted homebody), studying and writing on his own. He was in a bad cycle at home of being satisfied with being mediocre, of coasting. BS has enabled, and REQUIRED, him to step up, to take control, to own his - forgive my crudity - sht. He is a great kid, kind, wickedly funny, athletic, lazy, and very unfocused. BS has been an amazing gift in that it takes mom and dad out of the equation. He has learned very quickly that now it is all on him. Why didn’t we try to do this at home? Or wait 3 years for college to teach him the same thing? Because in college the grownups don’t care; you make it or don’t - the adults don’t have a stake in your success. At his BS, he has many, MANY adults invested in whether he succeeds or fails. He has coaches and teachers and table proctors and dorm faculty and advisors and the chaplain and the guy who drives the weekly van to Mass and the former camp counselor who now works in Admissions and the lady who was MY advisor who is now Dean of Students and the health center nurses …all of whom check up on him and guide him from a different perspective. Yes, perhaps he could get ACADEMICS at our LPS, but he can’t get this life experience that he’s getting at BS. It’s personal for us, and I don’t really care if folks who know judge us for it or not. Because *I know it is good for HIM. Just as I know that you will choose what works for YOUR kid. And that’s the beauty of having a choice.
The audience is KEY; I stand by my assertion and second @panpacific’s.
As for the highlighted-in-grey comment (highlighting part of a previous post of mine in post #349), I do wish that author could step into my zip code as a boarding school mama! We have endured so many sad and ignorant comments surrounding our decision, and I do not regret posting that they are indeed often made by those who have pretty much never left the state and spend the large part of their income not on their childrens’ education, but on material goods for themselves.
I envy you New Englanders, as it is a very different landscape here on the Left Coast.
@itcannotbetrue: I hear ya. Although we live in the Berkshires, within 90 minutes’ drive of more than a dozen fine prep schools, there was just one other kid from my D’s public middle school who chose a BS for high school. And some of the reactions we got were mindboggling. How about this one, from the mom of one of her best pals in middle school: “Why on earth would you send that sweet girl away? Are you out of your mind?” And THEN, to my kid: “Honey, just know that OUR family loves you, and you can come and stay with us anytime you want.” I am not kidding… 8-|