<p>Learning a lot. Thank you everyone. This is a high D3 school where I think either kid would do well. It just seemed there was more coach contact and talk for the legacy and I wondered if that is just courtesy if a coach visits a HS where an alum player is recruitable. Both kids are attending camp but only the one heard he would have extra time with coaches at camp.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Gingerpeach - You will drive yourself insane trying to figure out why a coach does a certain thing. I’ve been at this a long time, and I have a third son that will be recruited in the coming years. Don’t concern yourself with others or why coaches say something. Only concern yourself with action that a coach takes. </p>
<p>Coaches typically see what they want to see or see things we don’t see. I’ve seen coaches take kids that I thought were inferior talent wise only to turn them into diamonds and I’ve seen coaches take “can’t miss guys” only to cut them their junior year. </p>
<p>Athletic recruiting is a crap shoot in a lot of ways, which is why they select many recruits every year for every sport…about 50% of them will be contributors has bee n my observation in baseball. So, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to figure coaches out, as they have no surefire way of selecting recruits. The best you can do is make sure your son has many options (academic, athletic, and financial) and has built a market for himself among the interested coaches and schools. Through this leverage you will give yourself a leg up.</p>
<p>** ^ ^ ^ ^**</p>
<p>Very wise words as always. ;)</p>
<p>Thank you! I am sure you’re right. I appreciate the advice.</p>
<p>Any other advice for managing the stress other than do not fall in love with one school? I have one entering this process. Looking at others we know - and seeing their stress level - has been an eye opener.</p>
<p>I am up for tips, too. I know I shouldn’t feel so invested, my son isn’t half as stressed as I am, but it’s difficult. I think the whole process is bringing back my own last year in high school, where I thought about college every single day. I am glad it doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on him, and I generally try to keep my mouth shut. However, I feel like I am now constantly on this site.</p>
<p>Also, any other advice as to the schools where recruitment can really help and those where the athletic talent is really nothing more than an EC? That would help the athlete not fish in the wrong pond, so to speak, if he/she knew that a recruitment would help.</p>
<p>I think the answer to that has to be, being recruitable will help if a student athlete matches up with the competition level of a particular college team. For example, if my son is a decent varsity starting basketball player from a good program with good grades, but not nationally ranked, he may be recruitable for ivies, but for Georgetown or Duke, it would be nothing more than an EC. On the other hand, if you have a football player with the same stats, Georgetown might be a good bet for recruiting. At least this is what I am learning.</p>
<p>Chicagomama - You are not alone. I am borderline obsessing. Nobody I know in real life is experiencing the recruiting process. And I certainly don’t want to share it with those around me. Its a personal thing that in the end may not work out. I am just hoping I am advising correctly for my athlete’s situation. So, I am here checking things out quite a bit and carrying around a certain amount of stress that I didn’t have before this started. I seem to making a full time job out of this. 
I suppose its so my son doesn’t have to. He should be having the time of his life at this age and not worrying about this 24/7.</p>
<p>Happymom,</p>
<p>here is an additional thought …</p>
<p>The are ATHLETES, there are ATHLETES, and there are athletes.</p>
<p>And though there are a lot of aspects that are alike across that spectrum and across divisions, I think there are also huge differences.</p>
<p>Our experiences with our (hopefully) Div III daughter are going to be very different than the blue chip football player across the street.</p>
<p>GolfFather - You are right, it is very individual. And for me, a little unexpected.</p>
<p>and the best advice is for you- and especially the young, over excited recruit child should ask: if I lost my r arm, leg, etc., is this the college I want to get my degree… ??</p>
<p>and for anyone that is unfamiliar with the summer internships and actual job applications-- students (athletes included – unless you “know” someone) NEED A GPA of AT LEAST a 3.4 - just to APPLY…so be forwarned. We learned this only “after the fact” with son #2. But have a HS senior who is being recruited by D3’s for golf.</p>
<p>this thread has been invaluable! However, one unanswered question: What, if any ammo, do I have with a D3 coach/college for MERIT money? Talk directly to FA? And ED will be very likley…thank you!</p>
<p>At the D3 schools my D considered that had merit (Oberlin and U Rochester)- the coach had absolutely nothing to do with merit awards. That came from the admissions office. Of course that may vary by school.</p>
<p>I cannot offer the years of wisdom and experience that some here are able to but can based on our short stint with recruiting for my son (rising senior) offer a few lessons learned which I will remember carefully for when my younger son and daughter go down this road in a few years…</p>
<ol>
<li><p>MOST coaches seem to be honest and have integrity and respect for the process. Some however “play the game” and schmooze to get a lot of interest in their program. Then the shuffling game begins, almost like a nail biting game of chess, some players just “fall off” and others come out of nowhere right to the front- checkmate. Sometimes they are kids who lost their D1 offer and are now looking for top D3 (often NESCAC)</p></li>
<li><p>You absolutely need to take the personalization out of this situation. It will frustrate, infuriate and wreak havoc on your emotions if you take it too seriously. At the end of the day it’s about a coach building the best team he can. You could have a major superstar who plays a certain position but if he has no room on his team for him, he moves on. That kid cannot feel rejected but has to understand that there wasn’t a spot. Thats when its time to move on. This happened to my son a few times. Put a bandaid on it and wait for it to heal:)</p></li>
<li><p>Grow a thick skin and FAST! Your child will get emails/calls from a coach who is very excited about your S or D as a prospect. They keep up this courtship then BAM! out of nowhere said coach totally disappears, poof out of thin air…he is gone. Yep it happens and it happens often. It hurts and I often question the integrity of a coach who cannot write a short two sentence email saying out of courtesy that the spots been filled, he has another recruit in mind,etc…whatever the case may be. I saw it with my son and with other kids, left dumbfounded as to where a coach went. It happens and happens a lot.</p></li>
<li><p>Like schools that love to see demonstrated interest, coaches want to know a kid really wants to go there. They get excited to see a kid excited about their program and school. Yes, talent has to be there first and foremost but interest and enthusiasm and regular contact is very important. I think this might have been one of the best pieces of advice we got. That said sometimes, its also a matter of sheer chemistry. A coach and a kid who really get along and click. For my son this was key and he loves the staff he has met so far at chosen school. Ditto even a top school for them can lose its lustre if the coach has an attitude or doesn’t seem like a stand up guy (happened at one top NESCAC)</p></li>
<li><p>You HAVE TO advocate for yourself. Coaches don’t need to sell themselves to you. YOU need to sell yourself to them. Be proactive, learn to email often but not to the point of being a pest, reach out, network never get too complacent and continue to “case a wide net”. Its said often but boy is it true!</p></li>
<li><p>For NESCACS, all of them, academics are what will get you in the room. You can get past the front door with your athletic skills but to get inside the room, you need academics. Some are score optional, which is great for a strong student who does not have great test scores, but know the boundaries and the norms for a recruited athlete to be sure you are in the ballpark.</p></li>
<li><p>It appears that the Ivies and NESCAC are the two most competitive divisions in terms of academics combined with athletics. I am amazed at just how many amazingly good kids are out there (my sons competition) who are incredible students too. The competition is fierce. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.</p></li>
<li><p>And last though it feels great to say “I am committed”…until Dec. comes and you get that nice big oversized overstuffed envelope bearing an acceptance letter…its not a totally done deal. Admissions has the final say, and if the coach has been honest and forthcoming…it will all work out.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Best of luck to everyone going through it, its like being on a roller coaster of emotions and I sometimes think us parents feel the most bumps:-) My son committed this week and we are both very relieved but also realistically know that until Dec. rolls around he still needs to work very hard and keep his fingers crossed!</p>
<p>^All great tips kwalker! I would also like to add, from our own experiences - Alot of schools have a recruiting coach that is assigned to a particular region and facilitates communications between school and player. That’s fine…but the onus is on the athlete to make certain that the head coach knows who you are. Of the six schools that actively recruited my son, 2 of his recruiting coaches switched schools after the new year. People switch jobs, I get it…but next thing we knew he was getting phones calls and emails from about how excited they were for him to play at their “new” school. I don’t think so. Luckily we’d included the head coach in all of our communications throughout the process and were told that he would be our “recruiting coach” from that point on.</p>
<p>In our experience keeping the dialog direct but friendly will go along way. Do not be afraid to ask the tough direct questions. The kids want to believe the coach when they give complements and happy talk. The coaches want to keep their options open as long as they can.</p>
<p>Don’t dismiss D3 too quickly. We had a D2 school emailing us like crazy…called my daughter several times! Even offered us an OV. That coach spent 6 hours with us, selling us on the school. Told my daughter she was in his top 3 for recruits. He REALLY wanted her, and if she would commit, the spot was hers. Trouble was, he said he had no money. This school was out of state, and just too expensive without some help.<br>
In the end, it was a D3 school, (out of state) that offred her a “merit” package that makes it cheaper that sending her instate.</p>