<p>I read an article out today that was thought provoking, viewed through the lens of boarding school. I've never attempted to post a link on CC, so we'll see if this works:</p>
<p>The</a> Kids Are Not Alright | Greater Good</p>
<p>I had no idea the numbers were so high. What is your take on this? Is this what you are seeing at the schools you are familiar with?</p>
<p>It references a prep school, but not necessarily a boarding school? Regardless, I think these issues are relevant but found at all schools, public and private alike. </p>
<p>IMO, the right attitude starts at home. My kids go to BS to get the best education they can relative to the school options in our area. Our family’s emphasis is on learning for learning’s sake not chasing Ivy league dreams. In some ways, I find BS less stressful in some ways than taking an AP/honors curriculum in public school. At the BS , there are no APs, no class ranking, and no calculated GPAs. Although the students are driven and face a demanding workload, I think the environment is less competitive and more cooperative. </p>
<p>I have heard the “meds” line at school is quite long every day. Also, a surprising number of students get testing accommodations on standardized tests. To me, some of this is legitimate but some is not. Parents drive this not the children. Where do kids learn this behavior from? Again, I think it begins at home.</p>
<p>Yes, I was a bit unclear in my post. The article does not mention boarding schools, only ‘high school’ and ‘college’. It seemed to me that there are so many highly performing kids in boarding schools, that if anything the figures cited in the article would likely be even higher for the boarding school world. As a current boarding school parent, the article did make me think. We all want the best for our kids, but not at any price.</p>
<p>As our second child may well be headed for one of the acronym schools, I want to go into this with eyes open. Our son did not pursue the acronym route and is at a boarding school where he is quite content.</p>
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<p>I’m not certain of that. I think the boarding school model paradoxically shields kids from parental pressure to a certain extent. It’s hard to pressure one’s kid into academic overdrive when your only methods of contact are phone, text, email, skype. </p>
<p>The boarding school model is a model of the “well-rounded kid.” Even the star athletes don’t play their sport year-round. I have heard of some day students playing on club teams too, but that takes an enormous amount of dedication on the parents’ part. I don’t think it’s possible to do that long-distance. (someone correct me if I’m wrong.)</p>
<p>My daughter’s school has a really strong basketball team. A star player who graduated last year played tennis in the spring–I’m not certain he had played tennis before starting high school. In other words, even a star can’t hyper-specialize. </p>
<p>Medication? Well, having prescribed medication in one’s possession without permission is a good way to get kicked out. The schools I know restrict access to medication, even OTC allergy , cold, and headache pills. </p>
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<p>Well, it seems doctors frequently prescribe antidepressents and anxiety medication to patients. 27 million Americans were taking the drugs in 2011. However, a tendency to develop depression can run in families. I don’t think untreated depression is a good thing. Also, it may not mean the students are depressed or anxious. They could have fatigue or menstrual pain. </p>
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[Antidepressants</a> increasingly prescribed for nonpsychiatric conditions - amednews.com](<a href=“http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2011/08/22/hll20822.htm]Antidepressants”>http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2011/08/22/hll20822.htm)</p>
<p>From the article:
That sounds alarming, but the suicide part is not true. The curves for the 5-14 and 15-24 age groups look flat to me: [AFSP:</a> Facts and Figures: By Age](<a href=“Home | AFSP”>Home | AFSP).</p>
<p>I don’t think one can make one’s child into a perfectionist. Really. Believe me, if that were possible, my kids would have neat rooms, perfect handwriting, and put the milk back in the fridge after they’ve poured a glass. Now, it could be that I’m a failure at high-pressure parenting, but I choose to believe that temperament is inborn. Also, perfectionism has historically been a good thing. Think of carpentry and needlework. The best and most useful items are created by perfectionists–measure twice and cut once, etc. We’ve just changed the domain in which we expect our children to excel. </p>
<p>This is getting very long, so I’ll break it into two comments.</p>
<p>I do think it would be possible for parents to become very worried about the college competition, especially if all their friends have children in the same competitive high school. I think frequent social contacts with friends who have children in the same grade can increase worry, and thus may lead to more parental pressure put on the children. Boarding schools draw from a wide area, thus parents are not seeing each other in the grocery store. I think this helps keep the “keeping up with the Joneses” stress under control. </p>
<p>I think the college counseling at boarding schools helps lessen the stress in comparison to day schools. (This may vary by school. I have been impressed by my kids’ schools’ college counseling, but if all the students in a grade are applying to the same three colleges, that increases pressure.) The boarding schools I know best don’t rank. College placement is never predictable, so students should try to find schools they love.</p>