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<p>Hi all... we have just started this process (S is a HS Junior). We live in Westchester County and drove up to Worcester (Clark and WPI), then to Boston (Wentworth) and then up to Biddeford ME to UNE. It's about a 4 1/2-5 hour drive back from UNE.</p>

<p>He might also be interested in Case Western (a flight or a 9 hour drive) or University of Miami (a flight).</p>

<p>What are your thoughts about distance? I'm not concerned about him wanting/needing to come home a lot. He's been away at camp every summer for the past 5 years and has done well there.</p>

<p>He's not a super-social kid (science-head) but he'll make friends in an environment where people are like him. His scores are good (31 on the December ACT, waiting for the 2nd scores) and a 3.5 GPA. He doesn't want a purely engineering school (didn't like Wentworth as a result) because although he might want to take some engineering classes, he is more biochemistry-focused (and possibly marine bio). Liked WPI and UNE a lot and audited a class at Clark which he also enjoyed.</p>

<p>I'm also concerned about "party schools". He is not a partying kid but he's also high risk because his dad (now deceased) had addiction issues so this is something that concerns me.</p>

<p>Any thoughts or advice are welcomed.</p>

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<p>Welcome to CC!</p>

<p>The way I see it is it takes about the same of time to get home via car or airplane unless the school is ~2 hours away. Our D attends school 2000 miles away and it’s only an issue in scheduling returns after end of semester testing (as in, does she have a test on the last day or not?). As far as party schools, there will always be SOME partying at school. Do your best to make sure your S is prepared to “just say no”. I haven’t seen a school yet where the student is ostracized for this. And they may be the good guy who becomes the designated driver.</p>

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<p>Are the 2 of you up for handling the move in with a plane ride, or would driving be more comfortable for you? How would you feel with a long drive and how far are you willing to drive there and then drive back alone (unless a third person is joining you)? Think about how you both would feel about being a 9 hour ride away from each other, vs. a longer distance that really requires a flight, vs. 4 hours or less from each other.</p>

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<p>This is really important! I think that nearly all schools can be party schools, if that is what you want. I really cannot advise you about this. I believe that Mini, a long time poster, is an addiciton counselor. Perhaps you could send a PM to him for guidance.</p>

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<p>Have you guys considered RPI or SUNY Stonybrook?</p>

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<p>Thanks so much. He also has zero interest in Greek life, so schools that revolve around that would not be right for him.</p>

<p>I realize that there will be drinking and drugs at most schools (and hey, I grew up in the 60s-70s and was no angel. But thankfully I’ve never had addiction issues) but for example when I read about the University of Miami they have a WONDERFUL marine biology school but the posts by the students on ***** all revolve around getting fake IDs and drinking all week long. </p>

<p>We’ve definitely talked about this a lot (he’s also on meds for ADHD so he really <em>can’t</em> drink) and how some schools make a point of having chemical-free floors, and how being chemical-free is also something that can make you part of a ‘group’. </p>

<p>Thanks for the info about Mini… I will reach out to him for some guidance on this.</p>

<p>Re distance: the almost 5 hour drive wasn’t too bad, but for a WEEKEND visit that would be a lot. Worcester was more like 2 1/2 hours and that’s probably more reasonable.</p>

<p>I realize a lot will also come down to where he gets accepted, how much money is offered to him, etc. It’s just all pretty overwhelming especially as a single parent. We are working with a consultant but she’s not doing the driving. ;)</p>

<p>Thanks guys… it’s nice to have this forum!</p>

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<p>Yes, we are going to see RPI one Saturday soon. He’s not interested in Stony Brook though.</p>

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<p>Rochester and RIT are often on the “look at” schools for kids who have some of the same schools you’ve already looked at.</p>

<p>What about some of the PA schools? City/Suburb/Rural? Maybe Drexel as a safety. Would he consider a Catholic school like Villanova?</p>

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<p>One our our kiddos went to college 3000 miles away and the other 120 miles away. The reality is that they were away. Neither came here very often once they went to college. We, however, were not as able to go TO the place that was 3000 miles away. Also, the cost of airfare more than doubled in the time the kiddo went to the school. </p>

<p>Re: party schools…if your student wants to find the party folks, they will find them at ANY college.</p>

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<p>Yes, the cost of airfare is definitely a consideration. I used to be able to fly from Westchester to Orlando or West Palm for $79. Forget about that now!! </p>

<p>I think we’ll also save some visits until after he gets accepted to some schools. We may take a trip to Cleveland to Case Western Reserve, though, because I’d like to take him to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (I went a few years ago on a business trip and it was amazing).</p>

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<p>PA schools are being considered, although he doesn’t want to go to any religious or religion-affiliated schools. And seeing Wentworth in Boston made him realize he’d rather not be in a city. Carnegie Mellon is also on the list although I think that’s about a 7 hour drive. :/</p>

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<p>What about Lehigh, Lafayette or Villanova. Yes Villanova has a religious affiliation but it’s a great school.</p>

<p>Case Western is right in the center of Cleveland.</p>

<p>I hope he has at least one SUNY school on his list. They are wonderful schools and sought after “go to” places by students from other states. I guess the “grass is always greener”.</p>

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<p>Yes, we have Lehigh and Lafayette on the list and will look at info on Villanova. He liked WPI because he could focus on the science curriculum and not have to take a lot of humanities classes like he would at a liberal arts school. I’m sure he’ll apply to some of the SUNY schools as well but again I think he’s going to want to be at a place that is really science-focused.</p>

<p>I know Case Western is right in Cleveland but from what I understand, it feels like its own world (similar to WPI which is in Worcester but it still has a campus feel vs. Wentworth which has no campus feel at all.)</p>

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<p>My first thought was that UNE would be a great fit. Maybe Roger Williams in RI?</p>

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<p>Welcome Mavitale!</p>

<p>Not sure about engineering… my opinion… then don’t go to an engineering school. If son changes majors and likes his school, you don’t want him forced to move.</p>

<p>Distance: Not much of a problem when it is an easy flight…ie Miami. </p>

<p>We have 1 son that is a recent Miami grad (we are on LI) and son 2 in Buffalo (engineering). Both are a flight away.</p>

<p>Miami- Great, great school. Has “party reputation” but this is at every school. Like city schools, there are plenty of places to party if you look for it. South Beach is not close, and my son was there only twice or so in 4 years… for the beach. Local bars do not let males in until 21 years old, girls at 18!! There is so much going on in the area. Great location. Lots in surrounding areas. Lots of very smart kids there and it has moved up in the USNWR stats to 38, I think. My son was adamant against joining a frat. Best thing he ever did there (social life wise) was to join one!!! Son was also sleep-away kid (10 yrs!!) and this was an instant bond. Great marine bio program. </p>

<p>My thoughts on engineering…
Hardest program on any campus. Lots of work and kids need to be committed and have great time management skills. My son is also on the shy side. He had no clue where to apply so I made the list for him and he kept some on, some off. Knew where he didn’t want to go, even if accepted. He got in to all schools he applied to. Did not apply to WPI or RPI, both great schools. I felt he needed a more social atmosphere. Stats: 31 ACT ( all parts about 30-32 or so), GPA 3.84. Knowing that engineering is a weed out program, I wanted to set him up for success not failure. Didn’t even apply to CMU or the like. VTech, great school but I was concerned with the weeding out (then what do you do?) and also, I was told after he rec’d his acceptance but not into engineering that the students are not “officially” eng. majors until they take an engineering (intro type course) which is really hard to get into, especially for freshmen and he should stay over the summer and take it at the community college near VTech. Otherwise, he won’t get the class until sometime sophomore year. Nope… Not for us! Also, hard to get to and likely 5 year program (consider that when considering costs!!). RIT, visited after acceptance and hated it. (Friends son is there and did not get a co-op again, so he will not graduate on time. SUNY Binghamton- he loved it but after we did research we found out the eng program is not so good. SUNY BUffalo (safety and financial safety as well)- got a merit award. Highly regarded eng program and at visit, all the eng labs were up and running with great stuff going on. He and my husband did not see anything like it at any other school they visited. He loved the program and liked the school a lot. Syracuse, liked it a lot as well. In the end he picked Buffalo and it was a great fit for him. Great eng programs. Nice kids. He’s been able to do research (paid) on campus, has had paid summer internships, last summer and has one set up for this summer as well. Both of these engineering internships were offered after the Fall career fair when he was later interviewed. He works hard and is doing extremely well. Involved since day 1 in the engineering club, inducted into Nat’l Engineering Honor Society, etc… It has worked out well for him.</p>

<p>Partying. I believe they party up in Buffalo as well. (LOL), but it is done on and off campus. The key is the am’t going on and obvious addiction concerns. regardless of where he attends school you need to address this with him.</p>

<p>Please feel free to PM me. I can give you lots of Miami info, as well as engineering.</p>

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<p>I can give you our list and $ awards at the schools son applied to if it will help. He was accepted at Lafayette (he refused to look though- too small) and refused to apply to Case Western- didn’t want a city. Great school though!!</p>

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<p>Wow, thanks for all the info!!! I will definitely PM you with some questions. We’ve decided to take the trip to Miami for the April break.</p>

<p>REALLY appreciate all the help here!!</p>

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<p>Welcome! Just sold a house in Westchester!
An interesting school to consider is Worcester polytechnic. That’s where the segway was invented. </p>

<p>How important is a weekend visit? When I went to school ninety minutes fr home I never came home or a weekend tha I recall. My s’s were 8 an 13 hrs away by car , but an easy plane ride. It wa fine for both visiting and move in it is a bummer that AirTran/southwest is discontinuing service from atl to westchester, but there is always delta if your s might consider pry and it’s joint prof in biomed with tech</p>

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<p>Hey thanks… yes, I mentioned in the first post that we just got back from seeing Clark and WPI. It was an impressive school and my son liked it a lot. I do think he’ll be leaning more toward the sciences (marine sciences, biochemistry) rather than engineering though.</p>

<p>What is PRY?</p>

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<p>While he’s home and still under your wing, try researching ACOA for your son - “adult children of alcoholics”, a subdivision of Al-Anon. </p>

<p>Al-Anon is for anyone whose life is impacted by a close relative with an addiction. ACOA is specifically when that relative was the parent. </p>

<p>Or, possibly, read some AlaTeen literature, might have applications to him, and aimed at a younger agegroup. </p>

<p>ACOA might be relevant to your son, as an emerging adult, about leftover and remaining issues from having had an addicted and deceased parent (so sorry). If he can get some real insight into what it means to him to have grown up around an alcoholic or addicted parent, he might flip it around to become the LEAST likely man on campus to drink irresponsibly. It’s complicated and not as logical as it seems here on a chat board. If he’s interested, he could attend an ACOA meeting himself, or Al-Anon with you.</p>

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<p>Thank you so much. That’s really great advice. In many ways I do think the death of his dad (from lung cancer at age 46) makes him unlikely to smoke, but that’s a more popular position than it is to be a non-drinker. I don’t drink and even as an adult people don’t seem to ‘get’ that (or they think I’m in recovery which I’m not! I just don’t like the sensation of being even remotely buzzed.)</p>

<p>I will definitely research ACOA. At this point he says he understands the risk (how some people can experiment with things and others cannot, but sometimes you don’t know until it’s too late) but it will still be good for him to have some ‘tools’ when he gets to college. He is not social at all now so we haven’t been faced with this in HS (he has friends at school but he doesn’t socialize outside of school at all.)</p>